Castle in the Sky
by rushing-air
Summary: Naomi is so quiet and close off that Emily believes she'd never get to know the girl, until a half-revealed secret turns their world upside down. Emily then finds herself strangely tied to Naomi. But love sometimes can't overcome the oldest of curses
1. Ghost from the past

I'll be frank and confess right now that writing Fan fiction used to be the last thing on my mind, as I'm more of a visual-minded person than literal-minded. Words on page don't come as easily for me. But I've reached the point in my life where I need to get out of the kitchen and DO something besides flipping duck breast. So be gentle on me, reviews are very much welcomed, even if you tell me that I suck.

The opening is a bit short, but it makes more sense to end there. I'll definitely write longer chapter later on, unless you guys think I'm terrible and should go back to my duck breast.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Skins. If I did, everyone would be eating much better food.

**Prologue:**** Ghost from the past**

Naomi always looked so lonely

It wasn't because the girl refused to hang out with those oddball tossers Katie called 'friends', or that she never seem to have any friend herself, saved for Cook-who occasionally charmed her into casual conversation. But then, even Cook admitted he's not qualified to be Naomi's anything, except mere acquaintances.

No, I had noticed for a long time now, Naomi looked lonely because she never made any effort to feel anything else, or get to know anyone. Such pain, such beauty, i thought, in this over crowded student lounge, sat the one and only Naomi Campbell, looking lost in solitude.

"So what do you think Ems?" Katie's question snapped me out of my favourite pass time activity.

"Huh?"

"Pub or club?" Freddie asked, eyebrows rising with expectation

"Oh" Right, Effy's old mate transferred to Roundview College this morning. "virgin and willing to be corrupted" was the description she blew in the air, and since then it had infected the boys, making them more restless than usual with 'greeting the new girl' strategy. I groaned inward, 'De-flower the new girl' strategy, more like "Club" i offered. It's always easier to sneak out of a club without Katie's notice than Uncle's Keith's madhouse.

"Oh come on Emilio" Cook whined, then launched a debate alongside JJ about pubs and wooing statistic. I gratefully drifted back into Naomi-watching mode, when something caught my eyes.

Or rather, someone.

Them boys had all been pondering about what Effy's friend looked like for weeks. Cook would nag "Fit bird?", Eff would answer "If you know how to look", and that's that. I didn't get any sense from Effy's description until now. Trotting inside the student common room with the brunette was a quirky mixture of being. The girl was indeed pretty in a natural way, blond hair around the shoulders, blue eyes twinkling with excitement, and a pleasing enough figure. But all those assets were drown by the ridiculous exterior, consisted of mismatched make up and clothes which seemed to be designed by a drunk Walt Disney.

Though, all of that strangely fit the girl somehow, i mused

"Pandora" Effy waved the name at us "everyone"

"Name's Cook"

"JJ"

"Freddie"

"I'm Katie, that's my sister"

"Hi" I said '_typical of Katie_' i thought

"Brilliant" She squeaked out "Called me Panda, everyone does, Effy does anyway. Ain't she wick? Told me loads about surf and turf, said I'd get some myself didn't you Eff. Don't te…." Pandora halted, body froze, mouth agape. We all averted our puzzle eyes to the direction that she stared into, seeing nothing out of ordinary.

"Naomi" Panda breathed out

'_What_ !' My heart leaped out of my chest and got stuck in my throat. Everyone else was just as stunned, even Effy furrowed her brows, giving Panda 'the look"

"You know Naomi Campbell?" Cook asked, clearly confused

"What? No" She laughed, looking at us like we were a bunch of crazies "Effy is closet to a super model that I'll ever know stupid."

Katie threw me a face that screamed 'Huh'

"No, no, no. Not That Naomi Campbell" Cook impatiently pointed to my blonde obsession "This Naomi Campbell, you know, you were looking at her, calling name and what not"

"Naomi?" for a moment there she seemed just as dumb-founded as the rest of us, which frustrated the hell out of me. "What do you mean Campbell? Since when her surname…" Then her feature changed as she realised something. "Oh" …_What? "Oh"? that's it?. _"Yeah, um, we used to be classmate, in primary school" _Primary school?_ _What the Fuck?_ Panda looked down, smiled fondly, almost to herself "whizzer" she said, voice so low it could be a whisper. I immediately learnt that this was an extremely unusual behaviour when Effy shot her a curious glance.

All I knew, from what she told us, was that she and Panda used to go to the same middle school. They didn't talk, and didn't speak until their final year in art class. Some freak teacher paired the two together, thinking Effy would make an excellent mentor-which was just too funny to even contemplate. Both couldn't get along at first-or rather-Effy couldn't stand Padora, since they had zilch in common. However they managed to bond after Panda paid for weeds with truckload of cash. Now, Effy made it clear that Pandora never had any friend in middle school, that the students there resented her for some weird reason. Then they moved on to different colleges, Panda was again cast out by her peers, hence the transferring. I guessed the idea that she was fond of someone besides Effy made it strange for the brunette; while the idea that she was fond of Naomi made it strange for the rest of them.

"May be we should ask Naomi to come along tonight" Freddie suggested, "You two can catc…"

"Oh No" Pandora suddenly freaked "she won't come. You might scare her, or she'll be in trouble, then you'll be in trouble. And I can't help you because I'm useless"

I felt something inside me recoiled and then sprang out. Anger. Jealousy. Curiosity. All at once. How dare she? Waltzing in Roundview on her first day, clutching a piece of Naomi-whom I adored, whom I spent years staring at, whom I had tried to open up and…"Oi Naomikins" Cook yelled, disrupting my personal turmoil. When Naomi trailed her lazy eyes towards our little spot, everything seemed to become slower, quieter. Her annoyed look was instantly replaced by pure panic once she recognised our recently acquired member. Poor Panda was gripping her pink backpack uncomfortably, looking so guilty and scare at the same time. Whatever ill feeling I had for the girl simply melted away.

Oh Naomi, what did you hide from the world?

Then, something slowly sparked in Pandora's eyes, rising above the guilt and the fear were pride and admiration-flickering like a flame.


	2. Memories fall like raindrops

My deep gratitude to everyone who gave attention to this story. I'm honestly touched. Currently in the process of writing chapter 3, which is really really long due to the naomily interactions and it's rather difficult, but you guys are great encouragements.

The title of this chapter pays tribute to "Omoide Poro Poro" and its amazing director Isao Takahata, who showed me that the most moving drama came from the simplest place

**Disclaimer:** If I owned skins, Emily would bake a much, much better birthday cake

...

Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck

'_What is she doing here? Hanging around those people, looking like…_.' Bloody Hell, they're all staring now, watching me as if they expected something, like they needed something, like I was a performer and they paid for the ticket.

"Ain't no proper way to greet your old mate blondie" Cook shouted across the room _'Christ'_ the last thing I wanted was attracting attention from stupid people. What to do what to do! Should I come over? Should i…

_Oh for fuck sake_. Panda was here, in Roundview, and that probably meant she escaped the fate we were born into, just like I did. Memories started flooding back to that hazy summer day, when we were both tiny and everything else was huge. I remembered the sun beating on our back, the gentle breeze-for some reason- felt almost too cruel to bear, the rustling grass beneath our feet. I remembered Pandora, in her pigtail, trying to be brave between sobs, telling me I should have taken what was mine, that my dad was a shitty wanker. I looked at her now, and she was the same as she had ever been. We were not close, not like best friend, yet what we once shared was similar. Cook was right; this was no way of treating your old mate. I held that thought as tight as I held my denim bag, stood up, and walked over.

"Pandora" I acknowledged, a little cold. It's hard to change, after all these years. Fuck me.

"Hey" She smiled back "You're still whizzer tall"

Emotions stirred inside me, i was glad, She's still Panda, quirky and mad in her adorable little way. Good for her, sad for me.

"Hey Naomikins" Cook pulled out his cheekiest grin, flung his arm around my shoulder "We were thinking, how about you and Panda here went out with us tonight, bit of partying, bit of sharing, what do you say?"

"No" I said. No one acted surprise, I wasn't known for my people skill

"Aww blondie, it's about fucking time girl. Panda nearly forgot your name, Campbell. Bad sign ain't it? Gotta live a little, you know what I mean?" I flinched, shot Pandora a questioning look, "It's…it's been a long time, we were ye small, memories got funky" she stumbled for words, shaking her head fearfully_. I haven't told them, I swear I haven't told them_-her eyes screamed out. I soften, gave her hand a little squeeze "it's ok", between the two of us she was the one who had more to loose, and seeing her here made me strangely proud.

"So you change your mind then?" Effy pushed

"Said who?" I countered, irritated. Effy just sat there, doing the staring thing. Fuck sake. Her knowing smirk somehow tickled me the wrong way.

"We're not that boring" Emily looked at me, while Katie just scoffed. '_It's not the problem I was thinking about, Emily"_ I thought. I came so far, one false step would ruin everything. Yet her eyes were full of hope, so open, so warm, suddenly that thing called 'feeling' crept up and punched me in the face.

"Dad said I could be quite entertaining. I have tricks, don't know if they're international standard, but they're on the house. I mean, I don't do it for money. I mean, it's a therapy thing you know? You want to see some? Not-bored guarantee" JJ babbled on. And I didn't know what came over my brain, could be the tension which had been weighted upon me, it could be JJ, sounding like his ridiculous self, or it could be Emily, but I gave a small laugh. _What the hell_, I thought. "Show me tonight, ok JJ?" I said.

Then my ears were full of "Wicked" and "Cool" and "whizzer" and "Brilliant". Even Katie managed a "Hmmfff, whatever". I turned around, as if natural, and caught Emily. Her eyes sparkled with joy and adoration, a radiant smile graced her face-which blushed a little when she realised I was staring. She looked down at her feet, almost…almost shy, then looked back up again. I saw fire burning through her brown orbs, lighting up, just like magic.

What the fuck did she see in me?

I jumped a bit when the bell rang, signalling the start of our day. '_Thank Jesus'_ i thought. Muttered a "See you", i ran out of the room, but instead of continuing to politic class, I headed for the toilet. '_Kieran can wait'_ I reasoned with the ceramic sink while splashing my face. It was too much to take in for one morning and my head just felt overwhelmingly dizzy. Seeing Pandora again was like being slap by a ghost from the past… and being close to Emily, well, it was unlike anything I had ever felt.

The door suddenly swung open while I was drying my hand, revealed a fidgeting Panda. She stepped inside "Sorry to bug in, but I figured you wouldn't want to talk…you know, in front of everybody" her voice was soft, " I didn't mean any bean spilling. They had me at Naomi Campbell I swear. Wacker name you picked, almost flipped my tits inward"

"Pandora" I cut in "It's ok, they already chalked it up to memory lost " Or at least they appeared to, i looked at her reassuringly. Wait, hang on "Did you change yours?" I asked. She shook her head. "Pandora Moon. Nothing new really, I wasn't named after my mum side. Grandpops died anyhow, and aunt Lizzie ain't trouble" she paused, came closer, raised her hand to touch my hair "You're a proper blonde now. When you dyed it, I thought it was just a monkey phrase or something, didn't think it would keep." She smiled "Suits you".

"Thanks" I said, unsure about what to tell her next. It was too much, too much of the past, falling on me like raindrops. Grandmother flashed through my vision, smiling at me, telling me how my eyes glowed just like hers, how our hairs matched; dark, long and flowing. She would kiss me, praising me 'You will become somebody special one day'. I remembered how proud she was, how happy. Then it hit me, that fateful day, I was barely ten, in front of my bathroom mirror. I saw myself trembling, reaching for a pair of scissors, raised it. With one swift cut, I saw my locks fall. Part of me died that day, full of betrayal and hurt. I looked at Panda, silently wished that I could forget, but knew fully well how impossible it was to do so.

"Should head back to class." She offered, clearly sensing the awkwardness glooming above us. She turned her back to me, and just when she was about to walk out, she faced me again, voice soft "It was metal like, after you left. I kept trying, for mum. Done my head in it did. Then Effy came and it was nice… having friend. So I stopped" She confessed. I blinked, then composed myself and gave her a hug "I understand". _Good for you Panda_

We said our goodbyes and I dragged my heavy heart back to class. I had no doubt in Panda's words, she could find someone, love someone, having friends, all of that stuff. Despite our similarity, I was reminded of how truly different we both were, from the very beginning.


	3. strange girl from a strange world

This chapter took me ages, and I'm kinda living in constant fear that you guys finally figure out how shit I am and move on. Again, my deep gratitude to those who reviewed or will do in the past and in the future. Please keep me writing

**Disclainmer**: If I owned skins, Cook's black forest gateau would actually LOOK like a black forest gateau, the one with a chocolate wood cutter's hut on top.

...

...

...

Sometimes she reminded me of a caged animal.

The day passed like a blur since that weird Pandora incident. Cook was delighted that another fit girl joined our party, Katie's slightly pissed, Effy couldn't care less. But all of us probably thought at one point "How the fuck did that happen?".

Naomi was pretty much the lone wolf, kept things for herself, never hang out with anybody, too smart even for the teachers, yet rarely spoke in class. She wasn't like Effy-who acted just as quiet and reserved-though in a way they were both loners, that's for sure. The difference was, Effy's darkness seemed to come from the inside, like a state of being, glooming around the brunette. She accepted it, wore it like a skin. She poked around, teasing people, danced her devil little way through life. She mingled well, I guessed, but never got too close.

Naomi, for some reason, seemed more or less force to be shelled up. Katie would definitely thought I went mental or something, being so sure about a girl I hadn't had a decent conversation with. But I saw her, she looked trapped, she looked lonely, I did not think she liked it, and I did not think she knew herself.

She sorta avoided us during lunch break, fortunately we had English class together at the end of the day, so once the bell rang, I took the opportunity and went straight to her desk.

"So, see you at eight?"

"Um, yeah" she replied, absentmindedly

"You know the place right?" I asked, she looked at me, then scratched her head. _Jesus, this girl_. "No worry, I'll write it down for you" I grabbed a pen and paper from my bag, scribbled down some directions. _Wait, there's a better idea _"Or if you want, I can come over and pick you up, save you the search" I looked at her as honest as I could, using my utmost normal tone "I mean, Bristol isn't exactly known for its reliable bus service, and I don't mind"

"Right" she answered sceptically, looking unsure. _Shit Emily, do something_

"Well, and that would certainly give me a reason to avoid going together with Katie. That disgusting football boyfriend of her volunteered to take us there tonight, I'm not really keen on seeing his hands all over her tits…while driving" I blurted out. It wasn't far from the truth, and I must have done something right, as Naomi giggled and laughed. I soon chimed in, because honestly, the image of Katie and Danny together was THAT yucky, and the sight of Naomi laughing, too beautiful to not enjoyed.

"Not everyday I get to save a damsel from Danny-distress" she joked, flipped over the piece of paper I'd given her and started writing down her address "Hope you can find my house. Just… look for lots of screaming and naked Jesus" _Huh? _"Well, never mind" she shook her head, gave me back the paper. I looked at it, then at her. _Now or never, Emily Fitch. _I tore the unwritten half of the paper apart, tucked her address safely in my bag, and quickly wrote down my mobile number on the other one. "In case something happen" I said, folded the paper and placed it in her hand. Our fingers touched, it was nice, it was exciting, and a bit scary.

The last thing I remembered after I said "Bye" and dashed out of the room, was how light my feet were, every step I took was one step closer to flying.

...

...

...

"You did what?" Katie screamed. _Bloody Hell_. I knew we're twins but where she got that voice was beyond me.

"I was just being nice, that's all." I said defensively "It's her first time, at a club, with us. So I offered. Wouldn't you want to be alone with Danny in any case"

Katie stayed silent. _Wait, that's odd_. A strange look flashed across her face, suddenly she snapped "So that's what this is about isn't it? Just because I have a fit boyfriend.."

_Oh for the love of Pete_

"No Katie, this isn't about you and Danny" I rolled my eyes, took another skirt out of my wardrobe. '_Wonder if it fits my purple top'_ "Can't I have somebody remotely normal to be friend with? I mean, JJ's nice, but he's a lot of work. Cook just wants to get in my pants, Effy's plain odd, and Fred is just so passive aggressive" I pulled out a pair of black jean. '_It could do'._ I eyed my top on the bed, but found Katie sitting there instead. "Hey!" I came over and yanked it free from her bum.

"You seem pretty work up over what to wear, for a _friend_" Katie emphasised on the last word. _Shit! Am I that obvious?_

"First impression is all. Harmless" I managed, fetching my jean and escaped to the bathroom as fast as I could. Never felt like dressing in front of Katie, wasn't gonna start now. Once finished I rushed back into our room, grabbed my bag and ran out of the house in record time. When I made it to the street, I heard Katie yelling from the window "That Campbell girl is not normal you know? There's something fishy about her"

Whatever! I decided to walk instead of taking a bus. Naomi actually lived quite near by, though of course I didn't know that until today. In fact, when I thought about it, I did not know lots of things about her. What Katie said crept back to me. I knew Naomi's hiding something. For instant, I would never believe Pandora forgot Naomi's name out of a flimsy excuse such as memory lost. How could you forget something like _Naomi Campbell_? The boys seemed to buy it, but I didn't, Katie thought the same; and in that case, hell would have frozen over if Effy hadn't spotted it before us. _Fuck_. And here I believed that getting to know Naomi was simple.

I tucked that thought away once I reached her house. _Nice_. It looked homely enough, there's also a garden. I walked closer, and after a few knocks the door flung open.

"Hello love" A man said…. A man who's naked, completely naked. Grinning at me.

"Are you Jesus?" _Wait a minute Emily, where did that come from._ Just when I was about to correct myself, the naked guy roared "Jesus, someone's looking for you" _What. The. Fuck. _I was immediately pushed inside the house, which was a much bigger mess than it appeared from the outside. People. People everywhere. I started to panic, "Naomi" I yelled the only thing I could think of at the moment "Naomi" "Naomi"

I felt someone grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the door. It was indeed my tall goddess, _Thank fuck for that. _I looked at her gratefully while gathering my breath between walks. "It's…" I gazed back at her little place, unsure about what to comment.

"Insane, I know" She finished my sentence "Mother is such a fucking hippy. Bringing nutters home like stray cats. Just keep piling up. Get on my nerve, that silly cow" She kicked a rock on the pavement, rather angrily. I watched as the poor thing hit the wall near by and stumbled on. In a normal situation I would say Naomi was being rude to her mother, but this was just surreal. "Is this the part where I suppose to tell you that I'd love to meet her one day?" I joked, trying to ease the tension.

She looked at me, in a somewhat unbelieving kind of way, then broke down with laughter. For a few second there she appeared genuinely happy, widespread smile and twinkling eyes. I couldn't help but marvelled at how beautiful she looked. I wanted to see her like this more often, i decided.

"For your sake I hope you'll never meet her. Ever" she sighed "Mum wasn't always like this" Naomi said, mostly to herself. It surprised the hell out of me, hearing her tackling personal drama, so I said nothing, silently encouraged her to go on.

No such luck

I didn't know what to say next, wouldn't want to push, and Naomi just stopped speaking altogether. I had no choice but turned to the more practical option. "Bus stop's this way" I directed her. It's just getting plain awkward suddenly. _"That Campbell girl is not normal you know? There's something fishy about her"_ Katie words echoed in my ears. I wanted to know more about her so badly, what happened in her past? What was her name, if not Naomi Campbell? What made her become such an unhappy person, a lonely person? I sneakily stole a glance at her, and what I saw made my heart sank.

She's standing at the bus stop, arms folded. She had a look-that on the surface-screamed "Leave me alone", yet after that many years watching her from afar, I knew better. She's scare, scare and utterly afraid. Thinking back about this morning's events and Pandora, I suddenly understood why. People loved to pry, that's what they do, from countless celebrity gossip mags to small town school drama. The only way to shield yourself away from it was to not get involved. Naomi had lived her life exactly that, not caring much about stuff, then Panda blazed in, forced her to reveal bits and pieces that she wouldn't like anyone to know. Now, the prospect of things like friends scared the shit out of her, because of its sharing nature.

Human being, I guessed, was just a little selfish sometimes, with our curiosity

And may be getting to know Naomi was simple, after all.

"You know, it's best that way" I said, smiling. She looked at me, surprise and a bit confused "I wouldn't want you to meet my family either. Katie's a bitch. But trust me when I tell you that she's actually an improved version of our mum"

"Really?" Naomi asked, clearly interested

"Yeah, and I have no clue where our little bastard of a brother come from. Pervert is what he is. Katie and i used to think that there must be some sort of mix up at the hospital" I laughed. Naomi's mouth curled into a small smile, her body relax. I couldn't help but felt a bit proud at my achievement. She trailed her eyes to my left arm, asked suddenly "You hurt there?"

Huh? What?

I looked down, _Fuck_, it was the spot where she grabbed me before, to dragged me out of her house. Her hand no longer there, and it didn't hurt, but I had been caressing it, in a freaky, subconscious kinda way. _Shit Shit Shit_

"Oh, the bus's here" Naomi pointed, somehow saved me from embarrassment.

Right, there's a party to go to. We stepped on the bus together. I kept my two hands apart now, but the spot on my left arm kept burning.

….

...

**I know it's frustrated to be kept in the dark about Naomi's past. But for the relationship to progress Emily needs to be patient and a little bit generous (hard thing to do, but emzy is great is she not?). I hope you guys are not mad at me. **

**On that note, weeks ago some clumsy chef thought it would be a great idea to smashed my fingers against the heavy kitchen door. Though the nails are still unrecognisable (eww, I know) but I healed now and will be whisked back to the steamy hot kitchen tomorrow. But I won't drop writing if you keep reading and wanting more. **


	4. Shining Wind

Guys, I know I'm pretty late with update, but this week's been nuts. My chef decided I should roll pasta dough with my broken hand, and my other boss forced me to review an outrageously wacky and silly show about a girl who shoots petty criminals with her railgun while her lesbian roommate seduces her in a dirtiest way since Giant Mandy graced our TV. After 20 something episodes of boob fondling and knickers stealing, my brain is now occupied by a lot more trash than I'd like. So if it turned my writing into mud, forgive me.

Effy and Panda's first encounter here is loosely based on Skins season 2, but you don't have to watch it to understand what's going on

**Disclaimer:** People who owned skins cooked up something like "Beetroot and artichoke soup"…. As salad? yes, as soup? Yikes, so I don't own skins.

...

* * *

"Look, everyone is already here" Emily waved excitedly at her little group of misfits. She turned around, caught my eyes, and grin widely "Just stay away from Katie, you'll be fine" She grabbed my hand and pulled me to the table. It'd been ages since the last time I went to a club, but right now, with Emily by my side, I suddenly did not want to appear so dorky.

"Sorry, excuse me" Emily kept talking to the sea of people while guiding me through. I clasped her hand tightly. _What is this feeling_? I wonder. It wasn't the butterfly from the novel; it wasn't the relief or the gratitude for her caring gesture. I knew this, I had felt this before, but for some reason I couldn't recall. _Jesus_. Being with this girl did things to me. Weird things. "Strange" Emily spoke

"Huh, what?" I panicked. She's a feeling-reader or what?

"Katie, she's alone. I thought Danny'd be with her or something, doing sucky face" She questioned. I felt myself relax "Oh" _pathetic pathetic pathetic_. "Anyway, not complaining" She stated.

My mind went a bit busy and unfocused, which was a mistake, because as soon as we reached our destination, Cook leaped out of his seat, snatched me from Emily and twirled me around "Naomikins! Fucking hell, never thought I'd see the day" He smiled; I couldn't help but returned it, that boy's a fucking charmer. "Shut up you" I wriggled out of his arms and sat down next to Emily, just in time to catch Katie's resented look across the table, '_What the fuck is her problem? Or is she still holding grudges over what I did years ago?_' I thought. Before I could say it, Pandora spoke "You look… nice"

I could hear Katie snickered rather loudly, and Emily's looking tense all of the sudden. I just laughed "Thanks Panda" and gave Katie my best 'Fuck You' face. My skirt and top weren't that bad, but I was well aware at how the floral jacket threw people off. Panda looked at me sympathetically, of course she knew.

"Anyway, ladies" Cook spoke, still standing "Us gents will come back with drinks" He waved Freddie over. Me and Emily pushed ourselves a bit for him to get out. When both of them headed for the bar, something clicked in my brain. I swept my eyes across the table, me, Emily, Freddie sat there moment ago, Katie, Effy, Panda. "where's JJ?" I asked, didn't he promise me some magic?

"Probably with Thomas" Emily informed "He's a part time DJ here, that's how we get in. They're friends" I widen my eyes a bit. Didn't know JJ had any friend besides Emily. _Odd_. Since when I wanted to know about people? I pushed the thoughts down, trying to appear uninterested.

"There you go girls" Freddie said as he came back with a ginning Cook; holding empty glasses, along with what I could only describe as mountain pints of beer. "Little bastard wanted to get shots, but I insist on being light for the newbies". I eyed Pandora warily as they poured the drinks, I could hold my own, but Panda, if memory served me well, wasn't compatible with any kind of alcohol, no matter how light.

"Corruption needs to start somewhere" Effy spoke, at first I thought it was for the boys, but she was looking straight at me the entire time, her arm wrapped around Panda protectively, almost possessive. _What is this? Some sort of challenge?_ I furrowed my brows, wondering what kind of relationship she thought me and Panda had. Even when we were children, I never meddled too close to Panda's personal business. And corrupting Panda? Please… I saw how she was picked on, how she suffered, and after that freak accident which turned our fate into a bloody mess, she survived. I knew Pandora was the easy-to-be-persuaded type of girl, but corrupting her? Just so you try, Elizabeth Stonem. I raised my eyebrows at her. What I saw next confused me even more. Effy's shoulders dropped, as if tension had been lifted of her body, relief flashed across her face. For a second there she appeared grateful, but it was very short lived, then the non-caring look slipped back on again.

A mess of contradictions, that girl.

"Wanna dance?" Emily nudged. _Huh?_ I looked around, everyone had finished their drinks during my and Effy's little mind-reading contest. "Not having that then Naomikins?" Cook asked, and before I could even answer, he snatched away my beer and gobbled it down in matter of second. He reached over and did the same to Effy's. _'What a bloody pig_' I giggled. "Come on Blondie, let's have some fun yeah?" He laughed, pulled me away from my seat.

I saw everyone followed suit, except Effy-who remained at the table, just staring at us. _Weird_. We reached the crowded dance floor, and I felt Cook's hands on me almost instantly, he's moving behind me, swaying with the music. I laughed, closed my eyes and relaxed, letting the rhythm took over. _Funny_, I thought between the maddening beats and noises, we looked like a proper couple, Cook and i. Though I knew too well how it wasn't the case. The boy did try to shag me in the beginning, but once we got pass his hormonal impulse we became… well, sort of acquaintances. There were some odd parts inside me that trusted him to not go overboard, as strange as it might sound.

I felt Cook's hands slipped away, replaced by slender and gentle fingers. _What The_. My eyes popped open, finding Emily smiling in front of me. "Cook gotta go chatting up some poor girl soon, can't leave you alone now can i?" She shouted through the music while continuing her little number; eyes sparkling, not with mischief, but with tendering gentleness. She raised my hand with hers, twirled me around, then wriggled close in her adorable little way, ours body touched, made my stomach feel a bit funny, yet when she looked up at me, all assuring and trusting, I felt something else.

That feeling again, that feeling I couldn't recall.

Above me, the air crackled and changed, become heavier, damper. Then it shifted. The wind, the wind is blowing, shining.

"Naomi" I heard Emily yelled

"Uh" I looked at her. _Where was i?_ Right, club, dancing. "Are you ok?" She asked, full of concern.

"Not quite" I answered honestly. I didn't know what happened to me. Was I seeing visions? _Fuck sake_

"Come sit down yeah? I'll get you some water" she held my hand, guided me back to our table. I slumped down, avoiding Effy's eyes. "I'll be back" Emily assured me, then dashed to the bar, struggling to beat the queue. A bundle of cuteness, that Emily. I watched her tiny size manoeuvred through mad crowd of people-who were flocking about like cluster of chickens, stupidly blocking my view of the red head.

"Used to bug the hell out of me, the reason why she paired us" Effy's voice jolted me out of my indulgence. I raised my eyebrows. So talking in riddle was the next step of our interaction now? Should I feel proud or something? "That's how we first met, in middle school, the old hag got us together for a dumb art project" She continued. _What? Who?_ I stared at her, then it clicked_, right, Pandora_. "And? That made her your property?" I quipped, annoyed. She flicked her eyes at me, expression unreadable "Hmm, now I know that she's not yours" _Wait a minute, was that why she…_ Effy went on, cutting my thoughts "I didn't fit in there. That school. Bunch of innocent, snobbish little fuckers. All virgins, talked the same, walked the same, probably have been bred the same way. Got on my nerves, those losers, nearly made me go mute"

I wondered if Effy knew what she had just given away. Even though she didn't fit in, the fact that she was accepted to a school which Panda went to, meant her IQ was way above the nation's average. That certainly explained her behaviour, being too smart did have a nasty side effect. Contrary to popular belief, most students who went to those places were geared with intensive training by their overly ambitious parents as soon as they came out of the womb. While I had a feeling that Panda and Effy were the rare type who would get to Havard without much effort. "Didn't know you guys were in school together. Well, I didn't ask, just figured you met her randomly or something" I said, rather guilty.

Effy shrugged "Daddy dearest was afraid that his precious little baby would fall into the wrong crowd" She smirked. "So I spent several years in hell, corrupted a few victims now and again. In any case, they tolerated me." Then Effy grew serious "But not Panda, though I never ask why. And once we're friends, they casted me out too"

Fear gripped me. This was not really about her and Pandora. I found my heart beating faster and faster "Fuck if I cared about them" Effy looked straight at me "Then I got it. The reason why that old hag thought I'd be good for her. We both don't belong there. It's too neat, too clean. And we're broken"

I suddenly couldn't breathe. My chest tightened. _Fuck Fuck Fuck_. Effy didn't know, I tried to calm myself down, of course she didn't, not the whole picture, anyway. But her intense gaze, so strong. My brain started to ring out all sort of alarming signals '_It's no easy life to lead, Naomi_' Mother's words echoed from within '_You walk away, you'll loose your grandparents' protection. Who knows what would happen to us? Once we're out there'_ I felt a storm raging inside me. I was Naomi Campbell now. Naomi Fucking Campbell. I couldn't let things slip, wouldn't drop any hints, any clues. I had come so far, had I not? Yet Effy's eyes, they're searching, looking right through me, making my skin prickle. '_People gets curious, Naomi, that's their nature'_

I bolted out of my seat and ran towards the nearest exist, my brain was shutting down, I needed to get out of that confine space, need to touched the earth with my feet and see the sky with my eyes. My clumsy body pissed people off as I went smashing about. Frankly I couldn't bring myself to care at the moment. I grabbed the door handle as soon as I saw one, twisted, and let the cool night air washed over me.

_This is much better_. I collapsed against the wall. The air always calmed me down, no matter where I went, no matter how polluted. I needed to think. Coming here tonight was an obvious mistake, it got me close to people, that's never good. I must try to fix this whole mess somehow. _Fuck_.

"Jesus, couldn't you run any faster" I startled, whisked my head towards the voice, and found Emily, standing dangerously close, with a glass of water in her hand. I saw concern rising in her feature, nearly made me bolt away for a second time; but my legs held me down, apparently had minds of their own, and my throat was screaming for relief. "There you go" She said, handed me what I needed.

"Thanks" I muttered, then proceeded on quenching the fire in my throat. She kept observing the entire time, yet it didn't have the same effect as Effy had on me, it didn't gave me the feeling as if I was under some sort of investigation. I gained some courage, looked straight into her eyes. Such colour, so warm. I let their simple tenderness envelope me, wrap me up. It's so peaceful. I realised at that moment, how tired I was, after years of hiding, being in constant fear. I never felt an urge to give up as strong as this. '_After all, it has been so long, surely they would find a replacement by now'_. I shook my head. '_Can I afford thinking like this_?'

"Did Effy weird you out?" Emily asked "It's my fault, I shouldn't leave you alone with her" She ridiculously beat herself up "Always seem to stare right through your secret, those eyes"

"There's no secret" It came out rather weak

"Naomi" She let out a tiny sigh "It's ok. Effy never goes as far as exposing anybody. Analysing people is some sort of therapy for her, same as JJ doing tricks. The boys had their own problems to be busy with. Katie's the only one who's a bit invasive, but I can handle her. And as long as the rest of us don't care, she doesn't either"

"There's no secret" my response was getting weaker and weaker. The familiar feeling of panic began to rear its ugly head.

"I know there is Naomi, it doesn't matter though. I'm not particularly interested in that"

"What?" I couldn't believe what I had just heard

"I mean, I get it, there're things you and Pandora didn't tell us. But it's ok. Unless you are a retire serial killer, I don't care". Emily's lips curled up into a small smile.

"You don't?" I asked, trembling with hope, which made my own voice sound foreign to my ears.

Then Emily did the strangest thing. She raised her two hands, gently cup my face. Her thumbs started caressing my cheeks, sending little shockwaves through my body. I wanted her to say something, anything, because those fingers were making my mind and body going berserk with million kinds of emotions. "No, I don't" She finally spoke "I don't need to know you then, to see you now"

My heart exploded. That, that feeling again. The wind was blowing, shining, clearing away the fog…

"Come on" Emliy grabbed the empty glass, steering me back to reality. "JJ's desperate to show you something, and it's getting kinda cold out here" She pulled me up, guiding me back inside. I followed her lamely, lost for words. How could this happen? How could things get this complicated in just a day? I gazed at my and Emily's joint hands. How could things get so simple, in just a day? It's odd, my sudden urge to cling to someone who admitted that she wasn't interested in knowing the whole me. Yet, in a way this was what I needed for a long time. And I realised, Emily knew me, despite my attempt to shield up, she knew me. It was the scariest thing.

The familiar table appeared from the corner of my sight. Everyone's there now. I spotted Effy first, looking all nonchalant and mysterious as usual. Fred and Katie were in their chatty mode, Cook's ruffling JJ's hair, who held something strange in his right hand. Pandora came to view, she's being super hyper, her eyes glued to a guy I'd never met.

"Nao" Panda squeaked in excitement "Meet Thomas, such a blinking dream ain't he?" The guy stood up, extended his hand "Hi, I'm Thomas, nice to meet you" I shook it firmly. '_Well well, what do we have here'_. I eyed Panda, amused.

"Perfect gentleman, right Panda?" Effy asked, to which Pandora eagerly nodded in response. But Effy's look was directed at me… again. _He's a nice guy_, _He'll be good for Panda_ She communicated in a non-verbal way. REALLY, a mess of contradictions, this girl. Strangely enough though, I felt liberated. Effy cared, deep down, I knew that much. And judging from everyone's blasé reaction, I guessed she didn't spill what she sort of glimpsed from our previous conversation. May be I can trust Emily on this, since none of them appeared to be the nosy type of people. Saved for Katie, yet I had a feeling that whatever problem she had with me wasn't quite related to my hidden past.

"I have something for you Nao, I mean Naomi" JJ babbled. He looked at me, rather shy. "Is it magic?" I gave him a smile, and saw Cook scooted over, offered me a seat next to JJ. I said thanks and took my place, while Emily settled down next to Katie across the table.

"It's Origami" He said, showing me the strange item he held in his hand. The paper was folded into a crown shape, with three perfect pointy ends to each triangular. I frowned. It sure looked cute, but I failed to see the point. '_Are they making me queen as some sort of game?'_ "Here, tuck your thump inside" JJ flipped the thing over, showing me a small pocket at the other side of the biggest middle triangular; I placed my finger there. '_What's this_?' "Now, grab the tail" he pinched the middle pointy end with his other thumb and index, encouraged me to do the same, which I did "Pull it to the opposite direction" _huh?_ "what?" I asked, confused written all over. JJ simply smiled "It's just physic and math, you'll see. Pull it, hold on tight to the pocket" '_What the hell'_. I started stretching the 'tail' away. To my amazement, the middle triangular sucked in the air, puffing up like balloon. "Good good, keep going, gently, gently, don't tear the paper, don't tear it" JJ urged me excitedly. I watched in awe, the other two smaller triangulars had now curled backwards as the air kept pumping in. I continued pulling to the end, and the pocket-which my thumb held-became a mouth. "It's a fish" I exclaimed, much like a child. It looked so real. "It's a carp, specifically… I never figure out why the Japanese go to such great length for a carp. Great swimming ability, but rather tasteless. Though, I haven't taken into account Carp sashimi, could be a delicacy" JJ contemplated. "But carp origami is fun"

Indeed it was. Never thought that I could achieve something like this using a piece of paper. I looked up from the carp I held in my hands, and caught Emily for the second time today. Her eyes still sparkled with the same adoration, but this time it was also adorned with understanding and pride. '_What the fuck did she see in me?'_ I found myself asking the same question. I was such a grumpy, unfriendly, anti-social girl, yet here she sat, shining.

Wait

I remembered

That feeling

I was five years old. A carefree child, a happy child. I was running headlong towards the paddy field. The wind was blowing, shining, clearing away the damp foggy weather. I laughed, nothing in the world can stop me, I saw the castle floating up, soaring with the wind. I rushed forwards, trying to embrace the light.

Now, there was no floating castle, and I had learnt afterwards that wind couldn't shine, but the feeling I kept hadn't changed, the impossible still looked real in my naked eyes. I wanted to rush forwards with my eyes open, my arms outstretched, and embraced the light sitting right across this table.

I felt free

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**I confess right now that I kinda cheated with the origami thing, because it takes a huge amount of natural talent to be able to master the carp-pulling technique right off the bat like Naomi did. I remember my first attempt and it looked nothing like a fish. But this is a way I'd like to make up for JJ's origami skill in the Official Skins Novel, which seems like it was written by people who can not fold a jumping frog and can't even identify the right type of papers to use …what an insult to this fine art.**

**Thanks again for reading. And please guys, let me know what you think and keep me writing… now I gotta finished that horrendous show about lesbian panties stealer … what a nightmare**


	5. Silent Oath Pt1: Sinners and the Lamb

Thanks for the reviews guys * Big Hug * If I could, I'd give each of you a Lychee Macaroon for free… it's the season

This one basically became a chapter by itself… I intended to write a small bit about Emily and Naomi's first meeting but it expanded in size. I'll do what I can to update faster (No more nasty shows to review…. Whoohoo)

**Disclaimer:** If I owned skins, Syd would never put Vanilla pod in Meatball, NEVER

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'Thanks for tonight' I smiled stupidly at the text on my mobile screen while walking into our room, knowing exactly who had sent it.

Ouffff

_Wha_…. "hurry up bitch" Katie threw the usual nightwear at my face. I grumbled, bended down to pick them up from the floor. She had been in constant pissy mode this entire evening, for god knew what reason. I tippy toed to the bathroom and changed, stuffed my jeans and t-shirt in the washing basket. When I returned to our bedroom the light was already off. '_Something is seriously wrong here, she usually waits for me'_ I walked over to Katie's side, and judging from the way she thrashed about in bed, sleep was no way coming.

"Katie" I placed my hand on her shoulder "what's wrong?"

"Nothing"

"Liar" She could be so stubborn sometimes. I was used to her disgusting habits of bitchiness, boozes and boys; but deep down Katie's quite an emotional person. When she's like this, I often mused about how I'd rather see her shagged Danny silly, it would make my twin a simpler target for me to hate.

Wait

Danny

"Why didn't Danny come with us tonight?" I asked. Katie immediately tensed up, her breathing hitched, her body stopped moving beneath the cover. _'So this is about Danny'_ She went quiet for a few good minutes, then finally let out a sigh "We argued". I quirked my eyebrows in the darkness '_Argue? On which sexual positions to take?_'. Urghhh. I mentally slapped myself for trending into dark, sarcastic places. In a way, it was odd, because despite her attitude, squabbling with boyfriends wasn't her thing, not to this level of seriousness; she would simply break up with them before it happened. "About what?" I pressed on

"Didn't want him to come" She answered cryptically

"That's the first" I said, surprised etched on my face

"It's not like you lot welcome him" She shouted all of the sudden. _Jesus_. "Keep your voice down, everyone's trying to sleep here" I scowled. Katie looked away "Effy didn't want him to scare Panda off, Cook didn't want him to annoy his precious Naomi… whatever, it's stupid" I felt gratitude surged inside my heart. Katie was being nice and considerate. In a twisted way, it made her extra bitchy. So what? I smiled, '_Fucking hell Katie'_ I could never, ever truly hate my own sis, she always managed to make it difficult for me. I grinned, and without warning, jumped straight on her bed, making her yelp out. I bundled her up in the quilt blanket and hugged her from outside its cover. "Thanks, that was nice of you"

"Get off, bitch" Her tone was harsh, yet with the help of the streetlight pouring into our room, I saw a tiny smile taken form at the corner of her lips. I rolled over and untangled myself, but remained on her bed, looking up at the ceiling. '_It was indeed a day well spent'_

"Though, I don't get what you lot saw in that loser" Katie said in defeat. I turned my face at her. "Who?"

"My cousin Annie! Who the fuck do you think?"

"Naomi?" I asked in surprise "She's a decent girl"

"Decent my ass" Katie scoffed "She pointed a knife at your throat, or did you forget?"

"Craft knife. And that was years ago Katie" I countered in Naomi's defence "It was because of you, or did YOU forget?" _Bloody hell_. My twin could really hold a grudge. Katie stayed silent, albeit grumpily. "Well then, sweat dream" I whispered, climbed out of her bed and into mine. Lying down, I thought about what Katie said, and memories of that day stirred up, the day of our first proper encounter, the day Naomi Campbell-or whoever she was-became my obsession.

We were thirteen. A terrible age. Not only because of hormonal change-thought that was part of it-but also because Katie's childish insistence on 'Fitch twins together forever' had worn out its magic. She took her craziness for boys to a new level, while I lagged behind her back and shyly looked at pretty girls. I didn't get her fashion sense and she was disgusted with mine, fortunately at school we had our uniforms, but at home she always forced me to buy and put on whatever she felt like wearing. Worst were those art lessons. It amused the hell out of people when they learnt that Katie was skilfully good in art and craft. She was pretty organised-a trait she inherited from our mother, who worked in Bristol's most famous beauty saloon. Mum always had eyes on stuff like decoration, cooking, matching colour… and had talent to show for it. Sociable creatures too, both of them. I wasn't so blessed in these departments-a fatherly trait, which earned me plenty of smack-to-the-head from my older twin whenever I embarrassed her in art class, or in the schoolyard. Combined with my clumsiness and shy nature, soon I was pretty much picked on by Katie and her friends.

As time passed, my sister became more or less a bully.

"For fuck sake Em, your flower looks like a piece of shit" Katie smacked me again for a zillion times that day. My arms, back, and cheeks was getting redder, tears threaten to fall rapidly from my eyes. Our class was involved in a local charity, which required us to make Christmas' cards for poor children in Bristol General Hospital; wishing them well and letting them know that us lucky brats weren't heartless. Of all the things I could manage, making card wasn't one of them. My fingers kept wobbling off during the process. Not to mention we had to stay in school for an extra hour every Thursday. I really did try, and could not look at the disappointment lingered on Katie's face. Swallowed down my tears, i returned to those messy flower-pattern papers, hands shaking fearfully.

It was when I caught her eyes

I had not given Naomi much notice before, since she was so quiet. For more than a year being classmates together, we didn't even say 'hello' or 'how are you'. The girl had no friend, and seemed to prefer it that way. Worse still, she was so blasé and emotionless. Thus imagined my surprise when I saw her shot Katie a very angry look, though my twin was too busy pasting flowers to give a shit. I wasn't touched, just confused and surprised. Even the teachers in school wrote Katie's behaviour off as good intention from an out-going and slightly violent older sis. I had some pity glance once in a while, but no body had ever gotten mad at Katie's treatment. Seeing Naomi's face fuming furiously with disapproval, I wondered if this was how she felt towards the way Katie's handling me, or if it was just Katie in general and had nothing to do with my spreading pain.

"That's it for today boys and girls" Our art teacher-Mrs Walsh-declared the end of my misery, her eyes planted firmly on the clock. A gray hair women of fifty two, she sometimes reminded me of a puppet doll because everything she did was overly dramatic, right down to the tilt of her head, all stage-y and fake-y like. "Tidy up now"

I gratefully began clearing out my work place, arranged the papers accordingly and put them away in their respective boxes. I wasn't keen on "Same time next week" announcement, honestly grew tired of this messy classroom and its various student paintings on the wall. I flung my bag over the shoulders, walked to the locker area alongside Katie. We needed to put on our winter coats and make a run for the next bus. Our footsteps echoed inside the almost empty hallway; and to tell the truth, being the last group of students remained after official school hour had its creepy effect.

"Em" Katie halted, she grabbed me, turned my body to the right, swiftly pushed me forward, "I fetch the coats, you go to the loo, wash up those disgusting hands of yours. Sparkling clean yeah? Or else" She warned, and continued on to the lockers.

I looked at the female restroom entrance in front of me, then down at my fingers. Small bits of god knew what got stuck in my nails, while the other parts of my hands were covered in glue and watercolours. Shit. Mum never liked it when we came home messy, Katie always made sure that we wouldn't upset her. I pulled the door and stepped inside, rather half-heartedly. I hadn't been Mother's favourite, I wasn't now either, in any case. However, it stung more at the tender age of thirteen, especially when Katie always managed to look so spotless.

Though, it was a relief that the restroom was actually less disgusting than it normally would-a small benefit of extra school activity. The blue-painted stalls didn't have their usual cringe worthy smell, and the sinks from the opposite side weren't covered with wet toilet tissues or dirty water. I was about to turn on the nearest tab, when a small figure stopped me dead on track.

Naomi was sitting on the marble top at the corner, her bag placed next to her, inside the white sink at the end. Her feet hovered above ground while her back rested against the long mirror. She looked at me, expressionless. This girl crept me out. People came here to either do their business or-in Katie's case-retouch her make up after a fondling session with boyfriends insides the stall. Naomi just…sat there like some sort of homeless person. I tried to ignore her and concentrated on washing my hands-which turned out to be a difficult task. My nails took ages, and no matter how hard I scrubbed, those nasty colours refused to fade. I sighed, looked at Naomi, mostly because she happened to brood next to the hand dryer. Ehhhh. I sceptically took small baby steps forwards. When I reached my intended target, I quickly raised my wet hands, feeling hot air blowing out along with the mad humming noise of the machine, eyes at my feet the entire time.

Then curiosity got the better of me. I sneaked a glance upwards. How come I never noticed before? This girl was a picture of beauty. Her blonde hair was cut short in the most disorganised way, but she had such genteel feature, which added charms to the hard edges. Her blue eyes glowed like fireflies in the dark, full of intelligence and life. Glancing had morphed into staring without my consent. Even when Naomi looked back quizzically, I could not stop.

"What took you so fucking long loser?" Katie banged in violently, all dressed up with my coat in hand, making me jump. "Everyone's gone, and YOU" she came over and smacked my head "are making me wait like an idiot" another smack. She trailed her eyes down at my fingers and grabbed my hair with her fist "Explained that mess to mum yourself, got it?"

My ears suddenly picked up a small clicky sound. I looked over Katie's shoulders, and saw Naomi locking the restroom door. I frowned, which prompted Katie to turn over. But it was too late, Naomi smashed my twin's head against the hand dryer, successfully yanked her off, and threw her meters away from me. Before I could react, Naomi kicked my heavy coat-which had fallen on the floor-away, spun herself behind me and trapped my upper body with her right arm, whilst her left one held something pointy against my throat. "Trust me on this, i won't hurt you" she whispered in my ears

"Try to move or scream, and I'll cut open her neck" Naomi's cold voice echoed in the restroom. Katie shrieked out, while I remained stunned in Naomi's dead grip.

"Ha ha, well, forget the screaming, not like anyone's here at this hour. I bet Mrs Walsh is still in the classroom, practicing Shakespeare." Naomi said sarcastically. "That woman, fancy herself as some underrate actress"

"Are you nuts? Get the fuck off my sister you bitch" I never felt more confused at Naomi and grateful at Katie's brave bravado like I did then. But as Kate took a step forward, I felt a sharp metal pressed to my skin. "I wasn't kidding about the moving part. This craft knife is only used to cut paper, though I would like to test that theory on human parts. Wanna take a chance?"

"wha.." Katie hesitated, looking lost at what to do. I felt more or less the same way. Naomi assured me that I wouldn't be hurt, but with that craft knife pressing so close, I had no idea what stun she was trying to pull.

"Say, Katie" Naomi continued in her cold voice "What if tomorrow, your parents got hit by a bus… Ahh, doesn't apply does it? Hummm. What if Emily here got hit by a bus? Or some paedophile kidnapped, raped, and killed her? Wouldn't it be the same as jamming this into her throat?"

Katie's shaking now "You're insane" I never saw her this vulnerable, full of fear and helplessness "You will go to jail for this"

The blonde snickered "If you bother to read more than fashion tips, Katie, you will know that being thirteen, there're not a lot of punishments they can throw at me. Law is law, and the law would just lock me up for couple of years, some community services, and I'll be out before you have grandkids" She went on "This one though, would remain six feet under, regardless"

"No, please, no" Katie was crying now. Such a baby, my big sis. We were both children then. Even if Katie sauntered through life with more self-confidence, the world was still full of unknown, dangerous mysteries to her. It wasn't nice to be shoved down with the freakiest type of reality, by a girl she barely knew. "Not Emily, please" Katie begged

"Doesn't have to be me you know" Naomi let out a sigh, almost like a bored lecturer "Some clumsy idiot might accidentally push her over the balcony, or she trips and fells. Either way, she could be dead by tomorrow" I felt her relaxed, and before I knew it, she released me. Placing her hand on my back, Naomi pushed me towards my sister.

I stumbled into Katie's arms and she immediately held me tight, protectively wrapped me in her embrace, wetting my hair with her tears. "You're blessed with a sister" Naomi picked up my coat from the floor, threw it at us "so learn to appreciate her more. Bullying coward" With that, she grabbed her bag, unlocked the door, and walked out.

I didn't know for how long we stayed there, holding each other. It's like we had just come out of a bad horror movie. I blinked, looked up at Katie, who was trembling in earnest "Sorry" she said.

That was the last word she uttered on that day

We came home late, and received plenty of yelling from our parents, yet we kept quiet. I told Katie what Naomi whispered in my ears, and that made her went mute for the whole evening-a record in keeping her mouth shut. Katie pretty much avoided Naomi afterwards, though we said nothing to the teachers. I had a feeling that it surprised Naomi, since she looked like she was expected to be suspended or expelled at any moment during the following day. Although, as strange as it might sound, Katie's behaviour changed. She no longer smacked me or hit me, and started to pick a fight with anyone who dared to touch a hair on my head. Her loud and obnoxious personalities remained, after all, she's still the one in charge and I was stuck in her shadow like usual, but she let me be. Finally I could buy my own clothes, which she criticised as boring. Nevertheless, life turned out to be much better. Occasionally, Katie's good points shined through, and it was rather cute, seeing her fussed over my well-being. We started to have the same friends and ended up liking the same people, with Naomi and Katie's string of boyfriends as the notable exceptions.

I was no sadist. Sure, her method was downright insane, but it worked. I secretly felt thankful for what Naomi did. And spent years trying to spy on the blonde, wondering if she went around straightening assholes as an after-after class activities. The result was zilch. Katie was the only one she scared off. Soon after she reverted back into a normal, quiet mode, I got curious. Why me? I wasn't the sole bully victim, and there were worse cases out there.

Apparently, I could not come up with an answer, thus I spent most of my time watching Naomi since then. The more I observed, the more I adored her. Not only that she's gorgeous, she's also incredibly smart; a straight A student even though I'd never seen her put much effort in studying. I soon learnt that Naomi wasn't fond of the state she's in. For someone who appeared to be a lone wolf, she sure wasted a lot of time gazing longingly at those groups of close schoolmates who always hung out together in the yard or cafeteria. My heart ached to see her hid away a smile when she caught Katie treated me well or when Cook ruffled JJ's hair; and my brain went mushy when I saw her refused to squash even the smallest bug that lazily crawled its way on her table.

Katie, of course, wasn't keen on letting people know about how we got acquainted, and I had no clue how to approach Naomi; so we went around pretending nothing ever happened. Years passed, inevitably the whole restroom debacle faded into distant memory, became more or less a peculiar childish prank. Delighted as I was to see her with us again in college, there seemed to be nothing to connect us together anymore. Until Panda came

I nested myself in the blanket. I had no idea what Naomi hid from the world, but she helped me before, and I wanted to help her back. A silent oath was made. There must be way to pull Naomi out of this depressing mess that she's in. I smiled, and drifted to sleep.

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**I'm thinking about a Naomily date for the next chapter (because I promised a certain someone, you know who you are) what do you guys think? I'm having trouble in choosing between an ordinary, happy date and a kind that's a bit peculiar, where Naomi would spill more stuff about her past…. Arghhh… drives me crazy**

**My main problem is that I draw out story better than write… I wanted to do a Naomily comic but realise there're no ways I can host them… so I changed to fanfic… and as you see, it takes rather long for the storyline to progress, thus I want to spill some secret and make you happy. However, if you still prefer some teasing, I'll give them a stupid, happy date**

**Side note****: Thirteen years old Katie's a bit boy-mad and doesn't quite behave her age, but I've seen kids like that. And young Naomi…. I just think she's cool, she gave out a bit of her past in the restroom…if you can spot it.**

**Please don't complain about the twins going to bed without brushing their teeth. I was that age not long ago… and my friends thought I was a freak because I insisted on good personal hygiene **


	6. Silent Oath Pt2: Artemis and Callisto

Thanks for the reviews (there were like… four of you). And SunnyBeaudelaire, I seriously considered dropping this story, since the low rating made me think that I couldn't write, but you're such an encouragement, so I guess I'll try again and see.

To my anonymous reviewers whom I could not reply in private: Lala, if you meant dental cavaties, then no, my mother was abandoned in an orphanage during the war, and I understood early on that the lack of personal hygiene will give me a nasty effect once I'm older. To Boo: I'm glad that you enjoyed the twins and Naomi's action. It's a shame that some people don't realise what they have until they're about to loose them (I just don't believe that a speech could change Katie)

**Disclaimer**: People who own Skins think that Le Cordon Bleu had a Barbecue course (it doesn't). Obviously I don't own skins.

There'll be more disclaimers at the end, I don't put them here coz… spoilers.

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It all started during lunch break. Cook snatched Naomi's tray from her hand, yelling "Over here Blondie", and walked to our table. I beamed out a smile, much to Katie's dismay. I reckoned my sister was still unsure of Naomi's mentality; which is ridiculous. It's not like she would pull out a meat cleaver from her denim bag and chased Katie around the school.

"Nao" Panda talked with her mouthful as soon as she saw the blonde "This college is brill. It has doughnuts, lots of doughnuts."

Naomi winced, sitting down between Freddie and Cook "Be careful with those"

"Did you know that it's best to deep fry doughnut at 360 degree centigrade" JJ chimed in "With vegetable oil, because olive oil becomes trans fat in high heat. Probably why it ranked so low in dietary index."

"Yeah, I know" Naomi popped some chips in her mouth.

"You do?" JJ looked surprise. Not many people appreciated his rambling antic, and even less could understand him.

"Umm, I mean, uh, yeah" Naomi blushed, eyes glued on her lunch. Smart and adorable. How did she hide all of these qualities for so long?

"I knew we'd bond well Naomikins" Cook stole her potatoes and dipped them in heap of ketchup. "So everybody" he slammed his left fist on the table, trying to get all of our attention "Uncle Keith's pup afterschool special, yeah? Got hold of some quality shit, figure I'd share" He dangled a small bag of powder in front of us, then quickly stuffed it back in his pocket.

"Wicked" Panda whispered, "Are we getting honky?"

"In moderation" Effy smirked, while my twin just laughed out lout at that sentiment. There's nothing 'in moderation' for Effy, and we knew it all too well.

"I'm not going" Naomi stated

"What?" Cook complained, "Came home in one piece last night didn't you? It was fun right? People?"

"Yeah, and this time, we get to do drugs, how cool is that" Pandora said a little louder than she should have, and earned plenty of 'shhhhhhhhh'. I looked at Naomi, who was fidgeting in her seat. She was comfortable enough now to have lunch with us, but I guessed another evening with this crazy group was pushing it a bit too far.

"I've got work. Volunteer thing, you know" She said in a low voice, which sounded more or less like a lie.

"Since when?" Cooked nagged

"Does it matter?" She leered at him.

"Stop harassing her yeah. She said she didn't want to come" Katie snapped, which confused the hell out of everyone. My twin dropped her eyes at Naomi's quizzical glance "just saying, forcing is not good" '_Rightttt'_. Katie was either trying to prevent Cook from bringing Naomi closer or trying to protect Cook from being hacked to pieces by the blonde. In her mind Naomi was still the thirteen year old that played harsh on anyone who dared to annoy her. '_It was only you Katie, for some unknown reason'_

"I'm not harassing Kitty Kat" He turned back to Naomi "right, Blondie? Can't you ditch it like… un-volunteer for a day or something? You don't even get paid, why bother?"

She sighed, scratched her head "Is everyone coming?" she looked at me, silently asked with her eyes '_Are you coming?'_. My stomach fluttered a bit, seeing how she put her trust on my hand. As much as I believed that Naomi enjoyed being with us last night, she's still a little freaked by having so many people around suddenly. I made an oath to help her, and I would do just that. "Sorry, I won't go"

"what the fuck?" Katie yelled

"Don't I just usually sit around while you guys get stoned? What's the point?"

"You never complained before" She argued

"I don't feel like going today, Ok?"

"Can't we move it to the weekend or something?" Effy lazily spoke. '_Well, that might work'_ Naomi could have some space until then. But Cook "What the fuck am I suppose to do this afternoon? Had it all planned out" He whined as if on cue.

"Come to the shed" Freddie offered, "Weekend is not a bad idea mate, Dad and Karen will be in London, blah blah blah, shitty auditions, blah blah blah. No curfew to tie me down, thanks fuck"

"Still need a fit bird to shag" _Christ, this boy is filthy and he knows it_. Cook trailed his eyes to Effy for a brief second, then retreated away. It was too late though, we all caught it, and Freddy shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Naomi exchanged questioning looks with Panda. '_Oh geez, pretty soon we've got to let them in with the internal affairs_'

Everyone tried to cover up the awkwardness by talks of weekend's get-together, which Naomi sort of agreed that she might attend. I grabbed my bag, gave a feeble excuse about needing a wee, and walked to the art centre-the only quiet place during break time in this hell hole. I flipped my phone open and sent Naomi a text "At the bench behind our art studio. Can I talk to you in private?" Well, that's a bit forward in my standard, but I had waited so long for an opportunity like this.

Besides, I'd never felt that I'd done anything remotely worthwhile so far. I wanted to do this for myself, and for Naomi. I looked up at the vast blue sky above _'is this right? Is this Ok? _' I wondered. The cruel side of reality-though brief-was plain annoying when it stirred in my consciousness. The sky was big, and I was small. Sometimes reaching for Naomi was like reaching for the sky, made me feel as if I was yearning for the impossible. I knew she was quite fond of me, but I also knew that I desired her more than a simple friend should. Would she return it? Would I be able to stand up and move forward if she didn't? '_Is she even gay? Or bisexual at least?_' The more stereotypical questions came up.

'_Come on Emily Fitch, have faith'_ I shook away the negative thoughts. The road might be long and the end might be far away, but if it was Naomi who stood at the other side, it's a journey worth taking. I turned my head to the direction I knew she'd appear from, and waited. Few minutes later I spotted her, and my heart danced in tune with the way her golden hair flutter freely in the wind.

"Got you text" Naomi said nervously when she came into view. I smiled, patted the bench, urging her to sit down. She's just breathtaking, no matter how much she tried to hide it with bad fashion sense; her beauty came through like a beacon.

"Yeah, didn't want to talk in there you know? The boys were just over excited that you went out with us last night. So they're a bit pushy. Especially Cook" I shook my head "I think he fancies you"

"He used to, until he realised I'm not very shaggable. To give him credit though, he didn't press on like most boys would"

'_You are very shaggable'_ I though, but managed to not say it out loud. Instead, I asked her "So what's this volunteer thing that you do?"

She looked like a deer caught in headlight. "Umm" I had to refrain from laughing, her embarrassed face was just too cute. "It's ok, I don't judge".

Naomi sighed "I'm not volunteering, but I have plan for this afternoon. It's a bit silly anyway" she shrugged "Something I do on Wednesday occasionally"

I nodded in understanding, she needed her familiar activities and I didn't want to push. Right now I just hoped to show her that she could have a decent, normal conversation with me without bolting in fear. I was about to change the topic when she offered "You can join me, if you like. It's quite fun, and I can get you in without much trouble"

I couldn't believe her words, from the look on her face I bet she didn't either.

_Should i? _

_Oh Fuck it, she's asking me out_

"Uh, yeah, why not" I beamed, feeling extremely lucky. "If you don't mind me tagging along that is" She shook her head, giving me a small smile, "What's the plan?"

She grinned "Well, you'll get to sneak inside Bristol's Castle House Museum"

_Huh? _

…

…

…

So that was why we struggled to cramp her bicycle into the bus and ride miles away from city central. This girl had the weirdest hobby. How many people spent their youth in a museum? '_But then, how many people are like Naomi?_' I thought, looked around. We were standing in the museum's small parking lot, where she was busy chaining her two wheels vehicle. It was peaceful, the trees shredded a bit of their lush due to the approaching autumn weather, giving out a sense of seasonal appeal. I could see the grand house from here. It's a typical square block that had been extended to the left by additional buildings. I came to this place before, during school trip, and vaguely remembered that the first owner built the main house, then generation after generation kept adding in and built a bit more stuff. The result was not very artistically pleasing, but it had unquestionable charm.

"We'll go in by the staff entrance" Naomi pulled out her swipe ID card from the bag "Visiting hour's over so there're just a few of us. I'll introduce you to the old geezer, you'd like him." She talked while guiding me around. Wait a minute. "How the heck did you manage this?" I was stunned, completely forgot that Castle House Museum closed at 4 pm. "One of the guys who looked after this place dated my mum, that geezer. The rest kinda know… my dad" My heart lurched at the resented look flashed across her face.

"He's in there too? Your father?" I asked tentatively

"Fuck no. Haven't seen that asshole since I was twelve" She said bitterly. I knew right away that this father thing was a touchy subject, so I kept my mouth shut, simply followed her footsteps. We soon reached the entrance tucked at the rear of the building. Naomi swiped her card, held the door open for me "Small lady first"

"Hey" I laughed at her joke "My dad owns a gym you know, I can be quite fierce"

"And I took Aikido lesson when I was three" She grinned back "Rank of first Kyu"

I had no clue what that meant, but suddenly the image of thirteen years old Naomi ran through my brain, with her Kung fu-like grip. How could someone's past contain so many confusing elements? Didn't she play dress-up doll and watch Disney films like the rest of us?

I shoved my hands in my grey jumper's pockets once we were inside. This estate was built with mostly stone, and the air became bone-chilling as a result. I observed when walking up the curving staircase, Naomi also had on two layers of shirts, a horrible jacket, and skirt with leggings-quite the same attire as me. Yet she appeared rather unfazed by the odd coldness. '_She's used to this place. How long has she been coming here_?'

"Yo, Jason" She flung open the door on the right as soon as we reached the first floor, without knocking. I followed her into a somewhat messy office, consciously unsure of my manners.

"Little treasure" a pepper hair, heavy built man moved away from his huge wooden desk to give Naomi a hug. "And who is this charming young lady?" His brown eyes twinkled with curiosity

"Emily Fitch, um, Sir" I offered my hand, which he firmly shook "Don't you go around siring me Miss Fitch, call me Jason, or old geezer" He winked playfully at Naomi, who gave him a light slap on the arm. "Then call me Emily" _What a gentleman_, not at all like the stern, suit-wearing type I'd imagined. '_Though, his suit does look like it had been worn for about ten years, is it a museum thing?'_

"About time you bring in a friend ay? Little treasure. And a fine one too" He complimented, which made my face blush as red as my hair.

"Will you get into trouble if I take her around with me?" She asked "Be honest ok?"

"Nah, no trouble love" He went back to his desk, opened a drawer and searched for something "As fate has it, I prepared a bit of a treat for you. Chased away half of my staff. The other half are in the north office, busy with this new shipment and paperwork. None will be there to spy on you" He pulled out two little boxes, handed them to her. _What are those_? She stuffed them inside her bag before I could take a look "the usual treat?" Naomi questioned

"Can't ruin the surprise now can i?" He teased while taking out a lanyard from the same drawer and placed it on my neck "Now in case anyone ask, Emily, tell him or her to see me, and show them this" He tapped the card which was attached to the other end with a clip. It read "Authorised personnel"

"You sure this is Ok?" I darted my eyes at Naomi and back at him, I had no interest in stealing eighteen-century teacups, but many people would think otherwise

"Of course love, now off you go" He opened the door and wave us out "I'll come fetch you later for the treat" He smiled before retreating back into his office.

"Come on" Naomi opened another door at the opposite side, led me through a long corridor, then took another staircase down. She turned left and went straight to the visitor's route "You like antique furniture?" She eyed me sceptically. _Shit. Should I lie?_ But decided against it "No, are you?" I answered as honest as I could. We were standing in the Old Home gallery, surrounded by ancient everyday things like copper washing basins and chamber pots, the sort of stuff that made me glad that I was born in this century and had functioning toilet in the house.

Naomi chuckled "A little, but I don't usually hang in here" she walked pass this gallery, ignored the nineteen century costume exhibit. I tried to remember my school trip years ago, wondering about what could she find fascinating enough to return here rather often. Yes, some of the people who worked in this place were her parents' acquaintances, but judging from her relationship with said parents, I doubted if that was the main reason.

Wait, I remembered this route

"Ah, here we are" Naomi announced

"The Toy Room" I squealed with delight. I wasn't keen on antiques, but there was this irresistible charm in old toys that brought out a child in everyone. "I wouldn't recommend you to go over there" she pointed to a far way section on the right "Ancient Dolls are creepy in my opinion"

I grinned, "Sure, I'm not really into dolls". It was a pity that these things remained behind thick glasses, but according to their age and values, they were no longer stuff that children could play with; I eyed those beautiful train sets and cute teddy bears. It's such a pleasure to be here without a horde of noisy kids loitering around. We giggled and went gaga over the exquisite old baby prams and hand-painted lead soldiers. I glanced at Naomi '_such a child, so innocent. How many people get to see her like this? '_ I thought, watching her glowed with carefree happiness when she browsed through heaps of old toys like an adorable little princess. She started rambling about how the modern craps like Nintendo poisoned the future of our land and had zero validity, which made me laugh out loud. Passionate and a bit idealistic, I mused, feeling myself fallen harder for Naomi in every passing minute.

"Look" I said excitedly "Doll Houses" and rushed over to stare at the range of mini Georgian and Victorian manors. They had everything from servants' to Master's rooms, kitchens, nurseries, some even included music rooms and libraries. I studied this small iron oven-which were partially obscured by a huge amount of littlest copper pans as well as pots hanging on the walls-, then got lost inside those marvellous bedrooms adorned with hand crafted furniture and smallest of the small details, like the trouser presser in the butler's quarter or the old fashion fire-screen in front of tiny marble fireplace.

"I used to wonder, what would have happened if I had been shrunk to mini-size and got to spend time in a dollhouse like that" Naomi confessed.

"Me too. Brobdingnag is my favourite voyage of Gulliver's travels. Especially when the Queen made him a portable doll house to live in"

"You read it?" Naomi's eyes shone with excitement

"Yeah. What's your favourite voyage?" I smiled at her. She was about to reply, but the word didn't come out. She looked away, trembling with uncertainty. _Shit. Is this another touchy subject?_

"Laputa" She whispered

_The flying Kingdom._ It's just a small part of the book. Despite Laputa's political issues, Swift's idea of castle and houses floating in the sky was fascinating, so what's with the sensitive reaction?

"You know it means 'Whore' in Spanish right?" I joked, trying to affect her gloomy mood, and earned an epic eye roll

"Of course I do". She held my gaze, but the dirty word made it hard to remain stern. Inevitably, after a few second we broke down with laughter, "Naughty girl" she pretended to scowl me.

"Naughty Jonathan Swift" Came the voice of Old Geezer "Who was well fluent in Spanish. I suppose this was his way of mocking our dear ruling monarch" He walked towards us "Miraculous things, these doll houses, are they not?" He eyed them affectionately

"Yeah" I said "Thanks. Both of you. It's much more enjoyable this way, nice and quiet"

"My pleasure, Emily, my pleasure" His soft voice had the most charming British effect "Toys are rarely made with love nowadays, it's all factory. And children are losing manners as we speak." He smiled "One knows that one is getting old when the young generation becomes a sore sight for the eyes. Such is progress ay?"

"So am I a sore sight for the eyes? Considering my youth" Naomi asked mockingly

"You are special, little treasure, way too special"

"She really is" I agreed without thinking. _Shit_. '_Did I say that out loud_?' Blood started to spread like wildfire on my cheek. I braced myself, ready to receive serious teasing from Jason

"Naomi dear, your colours don't quite match your hair" He teased Naomi instead "Unlike this lady here" He winked at me. '_Oh God. What have I done?'_

"So, how about that treat I promised you?" He saved us from dying of embarrassment with the change of subject. "Come along now" We gratefully followed him through what I would call, a maze of a building. I was too preoccupied with my own shame to think of anything else at first, but as the walking seemed to take forever, questions began to form. _Where're we going_? We were no longer in the visitor route. Normally I'd imagine cake or candy as treat; but like Jason had said, Naomi was special. '_Does it mean she gets special treat?'_

"Right then" He stopped in front of a colossal wooden door, "suit up girls", he talked to us while punching some secret code at the side to unlock it. I looked at my companion for some clue, and she handed me one of those boxes which Jason had given her earlier. Inside was a pair of white latex gloves. I blinked in confusion, but put them on anyway.

"I'll be right outside" He turned to Naomi "The usual signal" and urged us to come in with those cryptic words. '_Am I in a James Bond film or what?'_

When Naomi flipped on the light, my brain dismissed James Bond and replaced him with Jane Austen. This room was filled with rows of glorious antique furniture. The type that bathed in subtle charm which showed of the maker's skills rather than the owner's riches. Their loveliness and English simplicity made me feel like I'd stepped into Price and Prejudice, as if Mr Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet owned these themselves.

"See? Toys" Naomi laughed, distracting my train of thoughts "Old Geezer is just too predictable" She dashed towards this enormous mahogany shelves where toys were laid out and numbered, greedily grabbed a little hand-carved horse figure in childish cheerfulness.

"We can touch them?" I exclaimed in astonishment

"We can't really play with them though" Naomi shrugged "only touch with gloved hands. These things will either be on loan to private exhibitions, or used in period movies sets. They're stored here and catalogued before delivery"

"Jason really loves you" I stated matter of factly. Even with my minimal knowledge, I could tell that the things he allowed Naomi to do weren't quite legal

"Yeah" She confirmed with a sad smile "Sometimes I wished mum had married him instead… Anyway," She waved me over, changing the subject "Look" she lifted up a large wooden boat that had a hut built on top. I held it in my hands while she opened the roof, revealing hundreds of different animals standing in pairs "Noah's Ark!" I gasped unbelievably at its intricate design.

She grinned, and I grinned in return. But right at that moment, my eyes catch something which nearly made me drop the priceless toy. I put The Ark down and walked to it like a girl possessed.

This massive ebony cabinet was indeed beautiful like the rest of everything here. Yet what drawn me to it wasn't the sublime details, but the painted porcelain enamel affixed on the largest door of the middle compartment. It was a picture of two semi-naked women sitting against a brilliantly luxurious forest background. I'd seen historical paintings of naked females grouping together. They were all tame and platonic compared to this erotic scene of blatantly same sex flirting. These two girls gazed lovingly at each other, their touching gestures were full of desire. I looked at the younger one who sat on the left; she leaned into her lover's body, the upper half of her dress was peeled of, her breasts and perky nipples glowed like moonlight in the woods.

_Oh. My. God_

"Disgusting, isn't it?" Naomi's comment drilled a hole through my heart. _She thinks same sex relationship disgusting?_ "Such a bad copy, the original is a lot more beautiful"

_Oh_

"This is a copy?"

"Yep" Naomi let her hand hover above the enamel "It's a painting by Boucher. He was famous for sensual brush strokes and titillating female nudes. His technique wasn't ground breaking, to be fair. But I like the subjects"

_She likes his subjects_

_As in naked girls flirting with each other_?

"I thought ancient art was supposed to be conservative?" I tried to carry on despite the heat rising up inside. '_I'm having a conversation about naked girls with Naomi'. 'Naked girls, with Naomi.' _

"Well, this is actually a scene from Greek Myth, so he got away with it." She smirked "Boucher worked almost exclusively for the French royal family and the nobles, who loved to keep mistresses. Anyway, being a Court Painter meant his creations were often reproduced in household accessories, like this cabinet. Most of them ended up here after the French revolution."

_Oh Naomi_

"How did you know all this?" I felt something a lot stronger than lust surged up, taken hold of my heart.

"Grandmother deals in antique, part of her job… She" _Oh Fuck_...

From what I'd learnt about Naomi so far, I could tell this was one of her 'mood swing' moment. She immediately became expressionless, then her body trembled as war of emotions waging inside. "That was how Jason knew my father, how my parents met" I squeezed her hand, feeling the gloves stretching "Hey, you don't have to if you don't want to" I assured her.

She looked at me in the most vulnerable way "She's supposed to be different. Emily. Grandma is so smart, and she loved me so much. Gave me toys, these kind of toys" she glanced at the shelves "spent ages looking for them in many forsaken antique shops, just so I could have treasures to play with, treasures that no other kids had. She nurtured me. But… But… She… And then… my treasures… no longer" I had a feeling that she had reached her breaking point, as tears were forming in her eyes. I grabbed Naomi, without thinking, and pulled her into my arms "Hey, shhhhhhh" I cooed. "It's ok, when you're ready, babe, when you're ready"

I embraced her. This was why she kept coming back here? Just to be close to her Nan? Touching museum toys and pretended they were her own? Though, I had a hunch that this relationship was more complicated than the one she had with her parents, as I saw nothing but resentment and hate when it came to her dad. Naomi's grandma, however, seemed to evoke an enormously confusing amount of pain, adoration, regret, and disappointment. I sighed, patting her back. The latex annoyed me, so I peeled them off, subsequently released her from my arms. I reached down and removed her gloves, then took her hands in mine

"Hey Naoms" I looked at her tenderly "Tell me, what's the myth in this painting's about?"

"Wha.."

"Go on, I want to know" I encouraged her. Watching Naomi cry was such a dreadful ordeal_. 'Be smart, my girl, be happy'_

"Um.. Well" She smiled and made cute little hiccup-laugh. "Do you know Artemis?"

"Um, one of the Olympian Gods?"

"Yeah yeah. She's the goddess of hunting. Legend said, When Artemis turned three, she asked her father, Zeus, for a few wishes" Naomi giggled, looking all shy and lovely "she wished to remain chaste, so no men could take her. She wished to have sixty daughters of the Ocean to be her choirs, and the most beautiful nymphs on earth to be her hunting companions. Zeus, being king of Olympia, granted all these wishes. Artemis grew up, everything was handed to her on silver platter. Legend said, out of those nymphs, Callisto was her favourite"

"Favourite…you mean like…" I asked stupidly

"Experts can interpret 'chaste' as they will, but I think she liked to shag Callisto the most" Naomi smirked. _Fucking Hell, the way she describes it… so sexy_. I found myself hypnotised by her voice "One day, Zeus got bore, He looked down from heaven, and discovered Callisto-who was somehow left alone in the woods. He fell in lust with the beautiful nymph. Unfortunately he knew that his daughter's servants were dead loyal to their mistress, so he disguised himself as Artemis, and approached her"

"That's just…wrong"

"Yeah well, the virtue of fatherhood has always been a tricky subject. Anyway, Nymphs were pretty much above human, but not above Gods. Obviously, Callisto was fooled. The conversation went something like "Who do you think is more powerful? Me or my father?" then "Even though Zeus is the king of gods, you are the most magnificent, my mistress". Zeus was amused by her bold honesty, he couldn't help but kissed her, touched her. She let him of course, because he LOOKED like Artemis. However, consumed with lust, in the end he lost control and his disguise slipped. Callisto tried to run when he revealed himself. Too late. He raped her"

"What!" I screamed, totally shocked

"To top it off, he knocked her up. Pregnancy wasn't something she could hide for long. As soon as Artemis found out, Callisto was banished from her hunting group forever. It wasn't only Artemis who got angry, Zeus's wife-Hera- was extremely jealous. Right after Callisto gave birth to a boy named Arcas, Hera used magic to turned the poor nymph into a bear"

"I have a feeling that It's not gonna be happily ever after" _How can mythology be so un-poetic_

"It's not supposed to" Naomi shrugged "Sixteen years later she accidentally encountered her son while he went hunting in the forest. Arcas wasn't told about his mom, so he didn't recognise her. But Callisto knew who he was. Overwhelmed with love, she forgot her current form, foolishly ran towards him, wanting to embrace him. He misinterpreted it as a threat, and raised his javelin, ready to kill this furry bear. Zeus saw it. To prevent the tragedy, he raised both mother and child to heaven, where they became stars. The constellation Ursa Major refers to Callisto, while the smaller Ursa Minor is Arcas"

"You mean" I gasped, "The stars are up there? For real?"

"Yes, if you stand on the right location, you can see them. They're one of the rare stars that visible everyday, all year round."

"It is kinda poetic, in the end" I smiled, which prompted the weirdest frown on Naomi's face

"He RAPED her, Emily. And Artemis did nothing… NOTHING" She shouted, made me jump "Callisto was banished by the one she loved most, and it wasn't her fault that she got rape now was it?" I was stunned at Naomi's bitter words. _What can you reply to that?_

"What good has love ever done to anyone? You're only loved when it's convenient, when it suits the purpose." Naomi looked down, her tone harsh and full of anger. '_Are you talking about the myth? Or about yourself?'_ I felt as if thousand of demon spawns were poking knifes at my chest. _This girl has so much pain_. I wanted to help her, but right now I didn't know what to do. Unlike Naomi, I lived a rather uncomplicated life. The most miserable experience I'd had was with smacking-Katie, and the blonde put an end to that.

I turned my back to her, facing the cabinet. "Artemis loved anyone else beside Callisto?"

"Uh, not that I know off" Naomi said in confusion

"May be you're right, I probably don't know how she felt. Got raped, punished by someone she loved and worshiped" I shook my head "It's terrible. I'm sorry. I just thought." I paused, looking at the painting in front of me "I just thought… isn't it wonderful? They became stars that illuminate the sky everyday, every year? I didn't think about what happened to her. I was simply glad that she exists, even now, up there, and somebody can see her tonight… Without love, without desire, there wouldn't be any painting like this. The stars would be plain, insignificant rocks. If tragedy had not happened, if Callisto had not loved Artemis, or her own son, she wouldn't have existed in the sky, or in the myth. I thought it was poetic, that she'll be there, till the day when I have children, or grandchildren. That she outshines her tragedy, forever"

I turned back to face my storyteller "Sorry… I guess I was naïve, huh?" I laughed, attempting to lighten the heavy atmosphere. But her blue eyes were blank. In fact, her whole body froze like a statue

"Naomi?" I asked worriedly. _Fuck, what did I do?_

Suddenly, she sprang forth from where she stood like a lion, slammed me against the cabinet and crashed her lips into mine. I felt her body pressed close, I felt my brain shut down, and my flesh went dead for a millisecond. Then new energy burst from within, spreading like fire. She stopped, removing her lips.. NOOOOO… my inside started to wither from the lost of contact. I grabbed her head desperately with both hands, closed my eyes, and kissed her with all the strength that she had just reborn in my body.

…

…

* * *

**Disclaimer:**

**In case you're churning theories in your heads, Naomi wasn't raped. This is no trick. If I find enough courage to even write another story, rape will never be my thing. Real life's sad enough**

**Bristol Blaise Castle House Museum does exist. I went there ages ago though, so memories of route and direction's a bit fuzzy. I didn't particularly work in that museum, so take the things I described as work of fiction, guys. However, the museum does have an extensive collection of antique toys, especially train set, dolls, and dollhouses. They're nothing but amazing. Except for the Noah's Ark, most of them are in London's museum of childhood (saw one in Bakewell's old home museum, but it's now on loan to BBC4 I think)**

**Francois Boucher was indeed a French Court Painter. Like Naomi said, his technique's ok, I just liked his subjects (duh, Naked women!) It was true that his stuff were often reproduced in furnitures, but the cabinet is something I made up. Few of his works are in the Louvre (including an Artemis (or Diana)/Callisto), some scattered around Russia, and most are in London's Wallace collection **

**There're many versions of Callisto's story. I prefer the gay ones, obviously (the straight one had Zeus turned into Apollo in order to seduce her…which makes no sense to me, Nymphs supposed to run when they see men). Boucher painted Ovid's Metamorphoses version, which is about gay enough. **

**I think I bored you enough with details, if you have questions about the facts, please ask. Hope this chapter doesn't suck. **


	7. Burning Wisdom

Jesus, thanks for the reviews guys. I wonder if it's because my writing improved when I was desperate or because I finally let them kiss. Anyway, as you all can see you inspire me to write rather fast (and the fact that my chef yelled "Double shift on Sunday"…meaning my not-very-much-healed hands will be busy). Sunnybeau, my cheerleader and HyperFitch, I wouldn't continue if you weren't here.

And to all of my anonymous reviewer (Boo, will ya decide to become not anonymous anytime soon?), big hugs. It's funny to see you lot come up with theories and appreciate my rambling on Myths. I have a love for old, ancient things and sometimes it's not good for girls my age. Can not enjoy most Hollywood blockbusters about Greek and Roman… I know there're lots of rapes and abductions in these stuff but exploited sex and profane violence ain't my thing

Sex that comes from love is, though

**Disclaimer:** No matter how many time I criticised Skins' characters' culinary skill, people who own Skins do come up with amazing stuff. So no, I don't own Skins.

…

…

* * *

"Without love she wouldn't exist … without love, stars would be plain, insignificant rocks…"

Despite what happened, I found myself unable to let go of the happier time in my childhood. Like when I was five, running headlong towards the paddy field, chasing the wind. Like when Grandmother watched me paired up little wooden animals and perfectly placed them in my Noah's Ark, "Smart girl, my beautiful and smart little girl" she praised me, full of joy. I remembered being snobbish towards my cousins. After all, Grandma loved me best.

Jason knew, and he let me played around in here, to comfort me. But no matter what, I felt trap in my own past. I could not move forward. Until now

Until Emily

I had known Callisto's tale since forever. Because I loved to please grandma and taunted those stupid cousins with my intellect, most of my time had been used on reading the hardest books that a child could digest. Callisto's plight, in a way, was plain frustrating. It had always been unfair, unjust, and downright abusive. But here Emily stood, giving me a whole new perspective. She saw things, things which no one else noticed. She saw it with her heart. No matter how many IQ I got in my brain, how many books I read, Emily turned out to be a much better person, a much smarter person. She made Callisto's tragedy sound so poetic. She gave me hope. And for the first time in my life, I saw a future.

I slammed her against the cabinet with a kiss, and before I could pull away, she pulled me back in, nibbling, arching her back, pressing our bodies close, indulging my whimper with her lips. It seemed like my nerves had spread out and attached themselves to hers, making me tremble alongside every moves she made. When her tongue reached out to seek mine, the overwhelming pleasure grew into something uncontainable

"Emily" I moaned her name, totally lost

She halted, and I found myself desperately yearning for her like she had yearned for me moments ago. I leaned forward, attempting to recapture the fire. But she shook her head "Naomi, wait" her voice sounded stranger than ever

"Y…yeah?" I asked, sounded just as weird

"Look at me"

My eyes flicked open, just to be lost in the darkest pair of brown. Emily's so beautiful, her body was warm and comforting like a gentle flame. She felt like… like something I didn't deserve. Reality hit me, hard. I couldn't drag Emily into this, I couldn't drag anyone into this… Yet the way she looked at me, silently asking for permission, making sure if this was what I want. My heart screamed 'Yes', my logic screamed 'No'.

Emily traced my lips with her fingers "I don't care who you were"

"It's…It's too complicated, too much of a risk" I spoke, and accidentally touched her index with my tongue. _Fuck_. Desire coiled inside me like a snake.

"Why did you risk yourself for me, back then?" She asked, caressing my cheeks. _What?_ "We were thirteen, remember? After art class, in the restroom. You threatened to kill me in front of Katie, made her treat me better. If you wanted a quiet life, if you wanted to be left alone, why did you do something so risky?"

"It…" That was years ago. I distinctively recalled the aftermath in which I scowled myself for being stupid, and living in constant fear for a week; afraid to be expelled, or worse, put on the news. I'd never admit that Katie saved me by not ratting me out. "I don't know". Young Emily was standing helplessly; dozen of colours smeared the pale skins of her hands, Katie smacking Emily's head, yanking her hair. My thirteen years old self shouldn't have bothered, but I did. I remembered feeling my blood boiled, and the images of my sweet older cousins flashed back like a cruel joke. "I didn't think, couldn't stand the way she treated you, such a good girl, such treasure…"

"So" She kissed my forehead "I don't know what this is either. You and me. Whatever you want to call it. But, let me risk myself this time, for you"

Freedom

Hope

All sort of things I haven't felt for so long

For a moment there I completely forgot where I was. Being trapped, being locked in a cage had turned my spirit into something feral. Now, Emily managed to unlock the door, I couldn't help but let the animal crawl its way out, taking control. I crashed my lips on hers again, forcing her mouth open with my tongue. I felt a newborn flame spread across my body, burned away the air I had inside. _Please let me suffocate_. I trailed my kisses down, tasting, nibbling her neck, making her moan out my name.

My name, she moaned my frigging name

I growled, frantically unzipped her annoying jumper. I wanted more, I needed more.

"Ahem"

_Wha_

_Shit! Fucking…Fuck Fuck Fuck_

Jason stood firmly at the entrance, very much not amused. We immediately broke apart, wiping our lips, clumsily tried to fix our hair and clothes, avoiding his eyes. "Young ladies" He said in a harsh tone "Do you realise that your DNA are all over a very valuable, early nineteen century French Cabinet?"

_Ehhh?_

_Oh! Double Fuck_

Emily and I picked up our latex gloves, which were dropped carelessly on the floor. We looked at each other, seeing guilt reflected back and forth. "This old man has to close the place down in thirty minutes, so if you ladies don't mind" we took our cue and walked out. "I'll accompany you to the parking lot" Jason offered

"No, you don't hav…" My protest died once I caught his stern face. I attempted a non-verbal puppy-dog begging, and got the same result. _Bloody Mary mother of Jesus_. I sighed, dropped my tail, carried on trotting alongside him and Emily like a faithful pet.

When we arrived at the staff parking, Jason suddenly asked "May I have a word with Naomi in private, Miss Fitch?" _What?_ "Hey, it's not her fa.."

"It's Ok Naoms" Emily cut in. _Naoms. How cute. Arghhh… focus will you_ "I'll get your bike, just give me the keys"

I guessed there was no point in fighting this. I did as was told, and watched Emily moving further away. Once she was out of earshot, Jason turned to me

"Did you tell her?"

"No"

"Will you tell her"

"Does it matter?"

"You know damn well it does" Jason snapped "Are you even serious about her? Because if you don't"

"I am seventeen, for God's sake. I'm supposed to have friends, have a mom who takes care of me. Why can't I be selfish? Why can't I have someone without questioning how serious it is"

He stared at me "You ARE serious about her" He held back tears "Little treasure, i…" He took a breath, composed himself "Secret ruins people, Naomi, I need to make sure.."

"She figured out a little" I said, much to Jason's astonishment "There's this girl, Pandora. We were friends, in primary school. She was one of us. Well, sort of. Anyway, she gave up, just like I did, we met again in Roundview" I shook my head "It's not her fault, but she let something slipped. Not Much. Emily only knew that my last name wasn't Campbell."

"That doesn't bother you? Or her?"

"It does bother me" I yelled "But… She said she didn't care, about who I was. She can see me now, just the way I am, right now. She said that was enough"

His face looked stunned "She's something special"

"She really is" I found myself stealing Emily's words without thinking.

"Oh my" Jason enveloped me in his trembling embrace "Sorry little treasure. Forgive this old man, I had no idea" I rested my head on his chest, inhaling the familiar scent "About time ay? About time." He pulled away, looked directly into my eyes "You live for yourself, you hear me? If you trust the girl, tell her"

"I don't know how"

"You will find a way, I'm sure of it" Jason smiled "You are Naomi Campbell. You're safe here, so don't let anything stop you"

I grabbed his hands, squeezed them tight "Why didn't mom marry you?" _You are so much better than that asshole_

"Then you wouldn't have been born" He replied "The most beautiful gift that more than compensates for my great loss"

I nodded my head, holding down my emotion. Whenever I asked him that, his answer would always be the same. It reassured me, in a way. "There she is" He spotted Emily returning, and gave her an open, friendly smile "My apologise for earlier, Emily"

"I told you, it's alright" Emily paused, then smirked, "Old Geezer"

We all laughed out loud. It felt good. It felt natural, being like this, with Jason and Emily. He winked at me, as if saying _'I like her'_

'_Me too'_ I winked back

"Off you go now" He shooed us out "And Emily, take care of my treasure, will you?" _Oi! I can't believe he said that_. I blushed million shades of red

"I definitely will" She promised warmly, then handed me back my bike. We walked to the bus stop in comfort silent; I dropped my guard, and asked her the question which had been bothering me for years "Why didn't Katie say anything? I nearly scared her half to death and all"

"I'm not sure" Emily shrugged, helping me resting my bike against the Bus' sign post "I think she was scare, and you didn't do anything, I mean, evidence-wise. Mainly though, I believed she realised that she was the one hurting me, not you" Emily turned to face me, a little shy "You became my hero, it's rather wonderful"

'_You are the one who's wonderful'_ I thought. My body responded to her words before my brain did, I leaned over and kiss her. Just a light peck, but it was enough to shake me "I can't lie to you, Emily Fitch"

She frowned "You don't have to"

"About who I was. I know you don't care" I bit my lips "Nonetheless, it's part of me, I can't hide it, not from you"

"Shhhh" she grabbed my hands, placing butterfly kisses on them "When you're ready, ok? We'll go slow. We… i… this is a bit sudden and I don't want to rush, I don't want to force you." She looked down "I don't want to fail you"

I lifted her chin up "For the sake of us both, I hope we don't fail each other" I said seriously. _Back out now if you want_. "Are you sure about this? You might be turned into a bear" I tried to joke; yet my tone remained heavy. I didn't even know what to do with this feeling thing, or the dating thing, or whatever ordinary people would do when they had feeling for someone. I didn't have much to give, and she would have so much to loose. '_Let me risk myself this time_' Something was easier said than done. Mother kept herself occupied with her group of yuppies, but we both know that sooner or later, they would hunt us down, and we had to give them our answer. If it's a yes…

Would she stay with me? If it's a yes

If it's a no

_Don't go there, Naomi Campbell_

I was very very tired of running

"Or" She looked up at the sky. It wasn't quite as dark as it would have in winter. Fortunately, the lack of city light made the stars dimly appeared on the horizon "I might be turned into a star. If I don't try, I don't exist, as anything, or anyone"

"I ceased to exist along time ago, Emily"

"But you can shine again"

"So you'll be my sun?" I asked "Stars can't shine without the sun"

"If you let me" She smiled, full of hope "I will be honoured"

When I was small and happy, I used to imagine what lied ahead, what I would become. There would be a cosy little cottage with large garden, I would get married to a boy, had kids. My house would be filled with antiques and books. Those dreams were crushed on that fateful day, and since then I could no longer see my future. Even now, who knew what would happen next year? Or the next ten years? I could not see that far ahead anymore.

But I could see Emily

Right now, I saw only Emily

My future

"You'll make a cute sun" I entwined her fingers in mine. If grandma could see me now, with a girl, she would drop dead on the spot. I giggled

"What's so funny?" She giggled back, amused

"Nothing, just" I looked at her, decided to be naughty "When did you realise that you fancy the fairer sex?" I was hoping to make her blush. But no, she became rather serious and thoughtful. Silent filled the street as she took time to think, then she spoke

"Since you saved me"

She squeezed my hand "What about you?"

What about me? I vaguely remembered flipping through Boucher's painting catalogue, intrigued by his naked females flocking the scene. I had no objection for boys, and was quite fond of Cook, however they did not interest me much. And girls? Even though I found girls to be more pleasant to look at, people in general bothered me. Hence my preference wasn't quite reliable. But with Emily, there was no going back. I answered as honest as I could

"Since you saved me"

…

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**I know it's a bit shorter than the last one but I gotta end it here. Would a promise of more naughty fondling help? Hope this chapter doesn't suck, like usual. **


	8. Talk of the Mermaid

My first time writing …. Sexy stuff. Lots of head-scratching and low esteem feeling. Anyone who has useful tips, please help.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Skins, I shouldn't anyway, the things I'd do

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Things ran smoothly after our weird, unofficial fist non-date.

Naomi opened up a bit and started to hang out with us more, though not as often as I'd prefer. We texted each other everyday, civilised at school, and during weekends' get-together when she usually joined us, we would sneak out for some heavy snogging. We weren't ashamed of each other, but things were complicated enough, not to mention I was a little selfish. Part of her belonged only to me, I didn't feel like sharing.

We came to visit Jason once in a while. That old geezer fussed over us like a dotting Dad. To be fair, he steered clear from the shipment room, and seemed rather anxious to leave us alone during our toy-gazing trips. Naomi just rolled her eyes and said "I hereby pledge to not ravish Em in front of displayed antiquity", making him blush. She kept her words though, and the Toy Room became our comfort zone. She loved to sit down behind me, on the carpet, held me in her arms, looking up at those children playthings. Sometimes she would recite old fairy tales about Princes and Princesses. At first it freaked me out, because these stories were quite dark compared to the glamoured up Disney versions. When I asked her about it, she shrugged

"Grandmother forbade us to watch TV until we were five, we didn't own a lot of tapes or DVD, just books"

"But it's not like you were trapped inside the house, surely the neighbour kids…"

"Our parents selected our specific playmates"

"What kind of parents would do that?" I asked in surprise

"We didn't get out much" She answered naturally "I was grandma's favourite though, sometimes she took me with her to show me off"

_Weird_

"You made it sound like you're some sort of exhibit"

"I was"

_Oh_

I snuggled into hers and felt her heartbeat. Things around Naomi had no sense, no wonder why she behaved so oddly. After a few weeks I started to see the similarity between her, Panda, and even Effy. They all had the potential to become rather extreme, although I did notice that Naomi was the most balanced, Pandora was the sweetest, and Effy was the most natural. When I told her about it, she looked at me, amusement dancing in her eyes "You think? Effy is not one of us, and we were not one of them"

Yes, sometimes all these three needed serious decoding in term of conversation. I learnt to give up.

Oh well, I took what I could get, everything was smooth, so I didn't complain. Even Katie seemed to relax a little, especially today. Our lot bundled up inside Uncle Keith's mad house, drinking, smoking spliff, snorting coke, the usual messy stuff. Naoms, JJ and I were content with our boring routine-which pretty much involved sitting in the corner, playing cards while everyone else got stoned. The first time she came with us, Katie freaked out when Naomi refused the drugs. Not liking the fact that the blonde would stay conscious while she lost control, my sister dragged Freddie and JJ to the furthest table and made them stick with her for some sort of protection.

"What's her bleeding problem?" Cook frowned

"Dunno" My girl smirked playfully "May be she's afraid that I'd fuck her with my big strap-on once she's all high and vulnerable"

"I'd pay to see that" He grinned "Better than Pop's porno, assuming"

_Ewww_

Anyway, of course nothing happened to Katie. After a few days my sis gained back her bitchy self, and tonight she even shared funny jokes with Naomi before getting her wit out of her mind with whatever Cook brought with him. I did appreciate my friends though, they never forced me to try anything I wasn't ready for, and always made sure that we wouldn't occupy the same spot when they got high. Fortunately there weren't many people at the pub. Well, Uncle Keith's never crowded except for Quiz days, I suspected he kept this hole running by some dodgy business under table. It was nice regardless, having space for ourselves.

"Your turn Emily" JJ urged

I stopped dreaming, began to focus on the cards in front of me. JJ just played a yellow number two. _Oh Bugger._ I had no two as well as no yellow cards. "Sorry" I said to Naomi, then threw in my last Wild Draw Four.

"Urghh" She groaned, picked up four cards from the deck. "sorry sorry sorry" I kept apologising, She's super bad at Uno, and a pretty sore loser-Worst combination. '_This girl played with too many ancient toys'_. I mused

A loud thud suddenly startled us; we scanned the room and caught our culprit. Panda Poo was attempting an escape by climbing on the table, knocking off glasses as she went mucking about, face paled with sickness. _Oh no, not again._ We always warned her to not drink and smoke dope at the same time, to no avail. Thomas took good care of her. And in his absent-usually work or family related-, Effy would make a suitable substitute. But today even the mysterious Stonem was out of her fucking tits, someone else had to play the nurse. Naomi sighed, dropped her cards, walked over to Panda.

"Come on, don't throw up on me yeah! New shirt" She flung Panda's arm over her shoulders, tried hard to support the girl with her tall body, but Pandora kept wobbling off, her dead weight made Naomi wince in pain

"Sorry J" I left the poor guy alone with his deck of Uno, ran over to Naomi and helped her stable our dear junkie. "Um. No… Thomo" Panda laughed "Oh. No. Naomi… No Thomo" She murmured "Stupid, stupid wanker… Nique ta mere, branleur … No, Not Wanker. Baka, baka neko Thomo… Kawai neko. Whizzer. Mon reve merveilleux"

I knew she sometimes rambled in Japanese when she's high, but this…

"She's learning French?" Naomi tried to speak while carrying the girl to the toilet

"Thomas must have been teaching her. He's from Congo"

"Well, that explained it"

"Her junkie talk?"

"She's.. Ughh" My blonde kicked the door open, guiding Panda to the cleanest stall we could find "always has a knack for foreign languages" She lifted the toilet seat up and rolled Panda's hair into a bun "But whenever she learns something new, it scrambled her brain, killing her English. Nasty side effect" We waited for her to vomit between giggles and laughs, then took her to the nearest sink. It was cute to see Naoms being all motherly, it's a side she didn't show very often.

"Hey Nao chan" Panda played with Naomi's hair while my blonde was wiping her mouth "Let's play… like before"

She proceeded on speaking the weirdest language I had ever heard. Naomi rolled her eyes, scowling "Stay put, you". I looked at the pair, deeply intrigued "What's she saying?"

"It's ancient Greek" Naomi slapped Panda's wandering hands "Oi, careful with the hair. She helped me learn it when we were small, often with poems that I loved… Hey hey hey, stop now, not playing time" But Pandora was having none of it, she kept nagging "Play play play, Nao chan teba… Ok, switch to Sappho, let's play again"

I quirked my eyebrow "Sappho?", which made Naoms blush in her cute little way. She bit her lips, then surrendered to Panda's adorably melodic voice "Ok, ok… only once, alright" She listened to the rhythm, then started speaking in sync. They sung out the ode one after the other, perfectly matched. Their voices were low and soft.

"T'was this deprived my soul of rest

And raised such tumults in my breasts

For, while I gazed, in transport tossed

My breath was gone, my voice was lost

My bosom glowed, the subtle flame

Ran quick through all my vital frame

O'er my dim eyes a darkness hung

My ears with hollow murmurs rung

In dewy damps my limbs were chilled

My blood with gentle horrors thrilled

My feeble pulse forgot to play

I fainted, sunk, and died away"

"A plus" Pandora complimented, which earned another trademark eyes roll from my blonde "we are not seven anymore, come on you, let's get back" She turned to me "Em… uh.. Emily?"

I snapped out of my haze "Oh, sorry" and came over to help her took Panda back. As soon as she snuggled safely in Effy's arms, I grabbed Naomi, fetched our coats, yelled to JJ "This one's not feeling well, taking her home" and pulled her out of the pub. Before she could protest, I pushed her against the wall and attacked her lips "You" I kissed her "Are incredibly sexy" another kiss "reciting poems" she groaned, welcomed my tongue inside her mouth. I dropped out coats on the pavement, using all of my arms to pull her close. My thigh pressed on her centre, and the sight of pleasure flashing through her face was enough to burn me. My body shook, so I tried to stay balance by resting my forehead on her shoulder. Big mistake. Her pale, creamy neck was too near, I found myself licking my way up, lightly bit her earlobe "Beautiful, my beautiful little genius"

"No, No Em" she disagreed, her voice small. She placed her hand on my left chest "The brightness inside your heart, I can't compete"

Before we both could fully appreciate her statement, we froze. Her hand on my breast did things to me. At first she was too scare to move, but once she heard my breath hitched, and felt my heart beating rapidly underneath, she started rubbing her palm against the fabric.

"N..Naomi" I couldn't help it. My knees were getting weaker and weaker. Suddenly it felt like I was wearing too many clothes. I yearned for her, desperately yearned for her.

"My house's near by" she managed to said, the meaning of that jolted me out of daze for a while, but a short while. I felt something stirred inside my stomach, coiling, screaming. "You… you sure?" She didn't answer, may be she didn't know. "Are you?" she asked me back. I remained silent, because I didn't know either. Couldn't think, not with the way she was stroking my breast, looking at me, shaking in my arms.

She grabbed my hair and kissed me with such strength that nearly crippled my legs, her tongue invading my mouth, tasting, exploring. She growled, almost like an animal, then broke away, picked up our coats, and pulled me towards the direction of her house. We ran, ran like a pair of fennec fox dashing through the dessert, we ran like our survival depended on it. Occasionally she stopped to kiss me, telling me how beautiful I was. Fire would then lit inside us like fuel, and we ran again.

She immediately pushed the door open once we reached her home. Gladly blamed it on her hippy mom and the occupants of crazies who never locked anything. Might as well, saved us time finding keys. We stumbled upon several humans sleeping here and there, but got to her empty room unscathed. She kicked the door close, kissed me, guided me to her bed. I felt the soft mattress on my back, I felt her weight on top of me, worst of all, I felt panic rising up. '_It's my first_.' I thought, but when I was about to convey this inadequacy, my heart broke.

Naomi' eyes said nothing and everything at the same time. I could hear her silent scream filling the room. '_Look'_, she roared so quietly, '_I was dead, now I'm alive again, I need you, I want you'_. Hope and despair shone from her, conflicting. '_How come? Such beautiful person? Yet such pain?'_ I took a deep breath, made my choice.

I rolled over, lying on top. I crawled down to remove our shoes, then took her hands, opened them, placing dozens of kisses on her palms, down to her wrists. My mouth sought hers, gently, lovingly. Desperation, panic, and fear screamed out their death, one by one; surrendered to this tranquil serenity birthing in my heart, almost like a miracle. I had found my solace, had found my strength, there's no need to rush, no need to feel clumsy and unsure. I unbuttoned my blouse, finding her eyes on me the whole time, full of hunger. She lifted her hands up to remove my bra, but I shooed them away. "The night's long" I kissed her nose, her eyes. "Naomi, my sweet Naomi" I stripped off her T shirt, and started to worship her neck with my lips and tongue. I trailed down to her collarbone, kissing the valley between her breasts.

"Emily" Naomi growled again, desperate. She grabbed my hair and yanked me away. With sheer strength, she pulled my face up and kissed me, hard. "Stop playing", she commanded, then sunk her teeth on my shoulder, biting, licking. I should have moan in ecstasy, or screamed in pain, but I didn't. I let her carry on with my eyes close, using all that I had to quench the fire she lit. Every cells of my body told me to give in to her touch, I ignored them '_This isn't about me, this isn't about me'_

As I predicted, she stopped. I looked at her, right now Naomi's face was a mixture of puzzlement, fear, and vulnerability. "Let me love you" I said, smiling. After giving her a sweet, tender kiss, my hands dug under her back and unclasped her bra. She ached upwards, urging me with her soft, bare breasts "You are very very tempting, you know that?" I teased, but instead of taking her nipples in my mouth, I lower my head, placed my ear on top of her heart, listening to the beats. It drove me wild

"Your heart is beating fast" _Oh, how my longing burns_. I then placed my lips on her left chest, '_My jewel, My treasure_, _You're here, you're safe_' my soul seemed to sing with each kisses. '_If she was turn into a bear, let me be her forest, if she was lifted up to be a star, let me be her sun. If she's hurt, please let me protect her'_ I was not a religious type, yet the prayer came out effortlessly.

She trembled, at first I thought she was shaking with pleasure, until my ears picked up sobbing noises. Before I could react, she toppled me, seized the blanket, and cowered inside like a wounded tiger. The bed shook in rhythm with her body. She screeched, screeched like a humming bat would, quiet yet profound. I looked at the bundle of quilt, '_My girl is crying underneath'_

"Naom…" I was about to touch the sheeted dome when it suddenly opened up like a mouth of a monster, cutting off my words. Darkness swallowed me whole. I could not see, and was knocked over by Naomi's tall frame. I felt her hands grabbed mine, swiftly pinned me down on the bed.

"Don't do that" Tears fell like raindrops on my face "Don't you ever" Naomi cried. I couldn't see her, not with the heavy quilt looming above us, shutting out all sorts of lights. "Don't give everything you have to me"

"But..."

"Listen Em, the brightness inside you, keep it for yourself. Don't give it to someone you don't know"

"I do know you" I said with conviction

"You don't know a lot"

"I know enough"

"GOD DAMN it Emily" She clenched her fingers, crushing my hands in the process. I bit my lips, tried hard to not scream out in pain "My time, is limited. When you know the truth, you may have to decide"

"D… Decide?"

"To stay with me, or leave"

"What's so bad about staying with you?"

""Em, you…" More tears fell on my face. Those droplets seemed to carry her deepest sorrow, each of them hammered heavily on my heart "There's a chance, that your life won't be yours anymore" Naomi tensed up "I will never allow that to happen"

"A lot of ifs and mights in your sentences Naoms." I struggled to speak "Told you didn't I? I'd take the risk"

"Not like this"

"Like what then?"

"I… I don't know, just... less"

_This is getting ridiculous_ "Naomi" I said as honest as I could "You're a person, just like me, there's no 'less' when it comes to you. I can't give you half of my heart, I don't think I know how"

"No, Emily, No" She sobbed, collapsed on me. "Please, no, no, don't" I embraced her; trying to sooth her "It's ok, it's ok" I kept chanting while wriggling us out of the blanket_. Fucking hell, it's hot in there_. I breathed, stroking her naked back. At least now I was free from the darkness, and could take a look at Naomi properly. Her skins glittered with sweat, her face buried in my shoulder. She wept, wept like an infant. It pained me so. I held her tight, whispering sweet words to calm her.

"The mermaid will die" Naomi murmured before falling asleep "Nothing but sea foam. The mermaid will die"

_Now that the little mermaid knew where the Prince lived. She spent many an evening and many a night at that spot. She swam much closer to the shore than any of the others dared. She even went up the narrow channel to reach the fine marble balcony that threw its long shadow across the water. Here she would sit and gaze at the young prince, who believed that he was completely alone in the bright moonlight…_

…_She heard them praising the young prince, and that made her all the more happy about saving his life on the day he was drifting half dead on the waves. And she remembered how she had cradled his head on her chest and how lovingly she had kissed him. But he knew nothing about any of this…_

…_Said the Witch "Once you take on the form of a human, you can never again be a mermaid. You'll never be able to swim back through the water to your sisters or to your father's palace… If the prince marries someone else, the morning after the wedding, your heart will break, and you will become foam on the waves"…_

…"_Ah, little does he know that it was I who saved his life" Thought the little Mermaid. "I carried him across the sea to the temple in the woods, and I waited in the foam for someone to come and help. And I saw the beautiful girl that he loves more than he loves me" And the mermaid signed deeply, for she did not know how to shed tears. "He says the girl belong to the holy temple and that she will therefore never return to the world. They will never again meet. I will stay by his side and can see him everyday. I will take care of him and love him and devote my life to him"…_

…_The little Mermaid drew back the purple curtain of the tent, and she saw the lovely new bride sleeping with her head on the prince's chest… She gazed at the sharp knife in her hand and fixed her eyes again on the prince, who was whispering the name of his bride in his dream… The little Mermaid's hand began to tremble as she took the knife-Then she flung it far out over the waves. The water turned red where it fell, and looked as if blood was oozing up, drop by drop, through the water. With one last glance at the prince from eyes half-dimmed, she threw herself from the ship into the sea and felt her body dissolve into foam._

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**Disclaimer**:

Sappho's poems belong to Sappho (whoever burnt her works needed to be skin alive) "The little Mermaid" belongs to Hans Andersen. I know they're dead for ages now, so the copy right law shouldn't apply here… though, just to be safe, don't sue.

Please don't hate me, things happen in this chapter for a reason. Hope to get your reviews, like always


	9. The crying boy in the Woods

This chapter's long and the story kinda jump all over the place, please be gentle. Thanks for the previous reviews (and that anonymous person, high five for you, though i don't know who you are). I did miss my personal cheerleader (and Boo), who were no where to be seen, so i was being mopey. My story has never moved so fast before, if the pace's weird, it's my fault

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Skins. But need to say it anyway, out of respect for the one who made it

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"_Stop crying" _

"_I want my mom… I want my mom… I'm scare. Mommy" The little boy sobbed. Such an irritation. 'What is it with Grandma?" My steps began to slow down " This pampered guy will never be my playmate. I don't care if his mother is one of us. Repulsive' _

"_Where're you going?" He asked_

"_Home"_

"_But we're lost"_

"_No we are not" I scowled, annoyed "Either shut up and follow me, or stay here"_

_He wept harder 'Oh great' I ignored him and continued walking, my hound dog happily trotted along, sniffing the air. This little woods had been my second home ever since Grandma took me here on her hunting trip. Much to Father's encouragement, I loved muck about in the wilderness, with Sho by my side. We ran together, teased the rabbits together; he would smear dirt on my clothes; mess up my hair with his doggie saliva. But today, this boy and his pregnant mom came by, out of no where, ruining my plan. I told him to stay put in my room, loads of toys to keep him interested. No such luck. He followed me to the woods, then freaked out because there were too many trees._

"_Hey, wait" He tried to keep up with my pace. "You're fast"_

"_And you're slow. Shotaro's faster than you are"_

"_It's a funny name for a dog" _

"_Dog's names are supposed to be funny" _

"_My baby brother will probably have a boring name… just like I do"_

…

…

Noise, too many noises

I yawned, rubbed my eyes_. Oh Bloody Hell_. By the sound of it, Jesus was having heated argument with Napoleon about the washing machine. Why purchased an alarm when I had caboodle of mental tosers yapping this loud every fucking morning? I turned my head, and caught a fountain of red hair shining brightly amidst the new day's sun.

Emily

Waking up next to such marvellous beauty did things to me, uncontrollable things. My fingers started to move of their own accord and touched her hair, her cheek, When they arrived on top of her left breast, I removed my hand and placed my ear there, listened to her heartbeat like she had done last night. _What a sound! What a lively sound_! Yesterday events were painfully vivid even in this sleepy state. I remembered her words, her touch, remembered the way she kissed my lips, as if saying 'Here's my heart, here's everything, it was mine, now it is yours.' Her selflessness broke me to pieces; yet at the same time, I felt whole. _'But what can you give her?_' A voice mocked '_She devotes her life to you, offers her heart to you. You take it like a greedy child, if you fail, she'll fall into the sea like a broken mermaid'_

The first time you fell for a girl, wasn't it supposed to be foolish? Something you laughed about once you grew wiser? Thoughts like '_I can't live without this person_' invaded my brain. Was this love? Or simply hormone? Some juvenile sort of crush

Emily stirred; I found myself staring, mesmerised by the way her eyelashes fluttered open. She saw my face, and smiled, tenderness dancing in her brown orbs. She's so radiant. Before, this body had been nothing but dull, grey rock; now I bathed in her warmth, and felt myself shine. She was all I needed to be a star. Realisation hit like thunder bolt '_Not a foolish crush, not at all'_

"You ok?" She asked, concerned

"Em, about last ni…"

"Shhhh." She cooed, "Don't stress out yeah? We'll get through this, together"

"Um, let's hope" I stood up, grabbed the nearest T shirt and threw it on. Emily tried to look away from my half naked body, but failed _'She wants me just as bad, and yet, last night, she held it in, for my sake…'_ I knew now, how courageous she was, how selfless she was. _'My turn to protect you little Fitch'_

'_I'm leaving Bristol'_

'_It's my blood they want, not yours'_

I quickly calculated the time we had left. Not a lot. She would need to know the truth and make her decision. But first thing first

"Stay here alright. Gotta break the news to mom. Then you can meet her"

She winced "You sure? I'll get dress and come with you. Moral support. Or we can tell her that we're… friends"

"Like she gives a fuck! Mum's too open minded for her own good. Why the heck did she marry that prick instead of Jason. Stupid cow"

"Wish my mom was yours, even if she's a stupid cow"

'_You had no idea'_ "Come back soon, promise" I kissed her cute nose, stepped out of my room, took a deep breath, and walked downstairs. Gina should be in the kitchen, entertaining freeloaders with new dietary project. I pushed away those who dared to meddle in my path, only stopped when I saw her, cheerfully debating with some guy whose name she didn't even know. "Mommy" My voice loud "I'm going back"

"Where love?"

"Peak District"

Her face dropped. She knew very well what I meant. I stood tall, despite coward fear stirred deep in the guts _'Need to be brave, need to be brave' _She saw determination oozing out from me, and five years of pretending crashed down on her, like an earthquake '_It's time'_

"OUT, ALL OF YOU, GET OUT" Mum yelled, startled our residents of loons. She brutally kicked those who refused to budge, cursing as she went. I heard they cursed back. For a few minutes my house resembled a war zone, with humans fleeing in various state of undress, screaming as if a bomb had been thrown at them, crying for the home they had just lost. No one cried harder than mom, quieter than mom. I watched her lashed out, and felt jealous that she had people to violate

"Gee, what did I miss?"

"Why are you here?" I asked, surprised to see Emily in the kitchen, fully clothed

"My folks are making a fuss" She explained "Left hundreds of voice mails, some are teary"

"Ouch!"

"Yeah, should go before Katie files a missing person report. Shame, love to …"

"What is th…" Mom came back, pissed off when she saw someone who wasn't her daughter "You deft? GET OUT. Leave!"

"You fucking stop" I jumped and shielded my petite redhead from harm "This is Emily Fitch, my girlfriend, not your mental punch bag"

"G…Girlfriend?" They both looked at me, one was confused, another was blushing with happiness.

"And she's leaving" I dragged her out of the kitchen

"Hey, it's not polite. At least let me…"

"I would have let you babe, but what about Katie? Look, you need to know the truth, but that means long talk with that 'stupid cow' first yeah? Go home to your sister, she must be worry" I mumbled "And mom's a bit shaken right now, not because of you though"

"Ok" She nodded in understanding, a tiny smile graced her face "see you later Naoms" I opened the front door. My heart ached, ached and ached with each step she took. Emily blew me a kiss before she disappeared at the corner. I held my tears, retreated back inside

"Tea?"

"Yeah thanks"

We sat down next to each other in our kitchen. I took my cup, gratefully sipped the hot liquid

"You decided then?"

"Yes"

"You sure?"

"I… I want to be a Campbell mom, I want to be Naomi Campbell"

She blinked "Are you talking nonsense? Don't you want to follow your father"

"Of course not"

"If that's the case" She said, disbelieved "We can just live here and…"

"And what? You serious?" I yelled "Too scare to make friends, too scare to let anyone in" My vision turned blurry. _Fuck_. "Lying, to the one we love. It's no life mum. We have to give our answer sooner or later anyway. I'm tired, so tired"

"Look, child" She carefully reached out and touch my hands, like she was afraid I would break "Your grandma can…"

"Don't be ridiculous, She wants nothing more than claiming me back, even if it means I might get killed. Did grandma put much effort in helping us? No. For five fucking years. We can't just sit around, waiting f..."

"You're her favourite Naomi, she must"

"Right! Look where that 'favourite' got us, mother? I want to live here with you, and I want to be free. We have to go back there. At least, I have to go back there"

She patted my hands, sighed in defeat "As you wish" She stood up, went to the kitchen sink and tried to distract herself by making more tea "Just so you know, My daughter will never have to face hell alone. I'll go wherever you go"

It was the part where people should normally say 'Thank you', yet the reality awaited us wasn't made for such acknowledgement

"Sorry"

"No, I am sorry. If i… If I hadn't married your dad"

"You both gave me life. I don't blame you"

We made breakfast in silent, and ate in silent. It was weird, we had grown accustomed to the constant noises bouncing everywhere in this house. Mom took comfort in helping strangers, since she blamed herself for not being able to help me. And I blamed myself, for being so ignorant as a child. What to say? Growing up as Grandma's favourite pet. The girl who was born with affection; made to cuddle and spoil. "Our family's little doll" was my purpose, my only purpose. They trained me of course, but it was feeble compared to my cousins.

I took a quick shower, then threw on some clothes. Had Em sorted things out with her sister? Could we meet? I sent her a text "Vassalls Park. Usual spot. Lovexxxx" If for any reason that she couldn't come, at least I'd have a day breathing fresh air. A girl needed her trees. Eating caged chicken was bad enough, no need to become one as well.

"Darling" Mom called when I was about to walked out

"Yes?"

"Your girlfriend, Emily? Did you tell her?"

"No. I mean, not yet. I will"

She appeared from the kitchen door, a worry look etched on her face "And? Are you just gonna leave her, like that?"

"What choice do I have? I couldn't ask her to wait for me. I could only hope"

"You love her, don't you" Damn. She's so intuitive, unlike Jason

"Yes"

"She loves you back?"

"She sure does" I shook my head "You have no idea"

"Right! If she knew the truth, she might not want to leave your side… don't look at me like that. Just saying, it's a possibility"

"She's seventeen for Pete's sake. She can't just pack her bag without adult approval. She has family here. You think that they would let her come with us? If she was your child, would you allow her?"

She said nothing, just ran back to wash the dishes, with tears in her eyes. Why couldn't we argue about normal problems, for once_? 'Fucking hell_' I grabbed my wheel, opened the door. Cold wind blowing my hair as I cycled down the street, these roads were the same as yesterday, and the day before that. But this morning, this very Sunday morning, they looked strange, looked different. The houses, the shops, those little chirping birds, the vast blue sky… Such irony, human, we never appreciated what we had until we lost it. Even Roundview seemed prettier in my head, almost beautiful. Ordinary things, mundane things, special things… they all came to life as I reached Vassalls Park, with Em stood in the centre, like gravity. Chaining my ragged vehicle to the rail, I contemplated on our murky future. _'Would she wait? Would we come back in one piece'_ Depression grew like parasite when I strolled towards our bench near the lake, undisturbed, until…

Effy Stonem

What the fuck

"Cook's being a twat" she greeted. '_Well, Good morning to you too'_

"Cook's always a twat" Was this a trick? How did she know…

"Not Em's fault, rest assure. But since you gave her so much trouble, what did you expect?" She patted the bench "Fitch twins will be here soon. Brace yourself for the consequences. Katie's so fuckable when she's mad." Effy smirked "Something about you snatching her sister last night without consent"

"Any tips?" I sat down and groaned._ Shit! This is more serious than I thought_

"Umm… Zero" She tilted her head, eyes staring. This girl had no concept of cold, how could she wear such…. skimpy dress at this time of year "She might let you off, since Cook's been bothering us lately. Bastard, always tries to bear things by himself"

"You knew because?"

"The drugs, these days, it's stronger… Too strong" She explained "Almost knocked me out dead, couldn't even help Panda last night"

"You gotta be joking? That's your reason?"

"And Katie's. We're his drug pals, we can tell. He won't spill anything to us though. Fred, JJ are too loyal", she shrugged. "But, he might tell you"

_Ehhhhh_

"Why would he do that?"

"Just a hunch"

So she wasn't here for socialising sake. But I had enough problems to brood about, there was no time to solve riddles "Thanks for the blind faith, but whatever you guys…. HEY" Effy crawled into my laps before I could complete the sentence, her nose sniffing my scent like some sort of lunatic. _Oiiiii_. I looked left and right, surveyed the surrounding. Luckily we were the only people in this area. "What crack did you smoke Eff?"

"Oh my oh my. You. You are the real deal"

"What?"

"Can't fool me, Campbell" she purred, licked my neck "Your blood, God isn't fair is he?"

She knew, took her long enough

"I wasn't one of them, not supposed to"

"Even so. Same manner, same smell" she went on "Just raised differently, like Panda"

"Means nothing"

"Many folks desire that nothing"

"Idiots"

"Just ill-informed" She got off, stretched her legs, then lied down on the bench, used my lap as pillow "Nice place! Predictable, your kind"

"Our fondness for nature?"

"And ancient shit" she whispered "Did they make you kill Bambi for lunch?"

"Not old enough"

"Hmmm"

We simply stayed quiet afterwards. I sat back, let the rustling woods carry my thoughts away to Emily. We came here time to time, far from prying people. She wanted to keep this relationship between us, and that meant avoiding crowded teenage habitats. Castle House Museum was fine, but it did get old. So we chose this place. It was private, seclude, peaceful. Though, when the truth's out, I would love to take her to the cinema, went shopping, or cooked her a romantic meal, served by stupid candlelight. That was, if she forgave me of course. My departure would break her heart. Emily, my sweet Emily. I grew sadder with each passing minute _'where are you?'. _I grabbed my mobile and checked the messages. Bloody Hell! Thirty something miss calls and texts. Must be when I was cycling.

Finally, from the distance, came a pair of glowing redheads. They were both racing like mad, kicking up dirt as they went. My inside twisted a little. Emily fell behind her sister's steps, her face pleading and sorrowful. _Uh Oh_. Eff moved away from my laps, I stood up and 'faced the consequences' when the older twin came near.

"Katie, about th…"

She slapped me

Hard

I lost balance, dizziness buzzing all over. "Katie NO" My girl screamed, she reached out and caught me before I fell, her scent invading my nostrils, dulling the pain like an effective drug.

"Next time you kidnap my sister, I'll rip your tits off, fucking cunt. Just took her like that, no note, no text, no phone call"

Emily yelled, "It's not her fault, I decided t…"

"Shut up" Katie snapped, seized my head with both hands, but instead of being all violent, she pulled my face down until her lips levelled with my ear "She's my only sister. Sweet little thing yeah? Don't be a selfish bitch, think about her family, my family" Katie's voice was soft "I want her safe, don't do that again"

"I won't. Sorry" I said, full of guilt _'That's why I'm leaving'_

"You'd better be" She grumbled, loosened her grip. Shouldn't underestimate Kit Kat. Few days ago she avoided me like antelope avoiding tiger, yet one wrong move with Em and she transformed into something else. Fierce courage, must be genetic

"Apologise to Naomi" Talk about courage "You had no right"

"Em, it's ok"

"No it's not. We ain't here for this. I told her your location because she sa…"

"Deepest apology for slapping your face, Campbell" Katie cut in "Satisfy?"

That was quick

"Anyway" The older twin changed subject "Something's wrong with Cook"

_Oh Kill me now_

"Not again" I groaned, rubbed my cheek. Effy just sat there, eyes brightly opened, like she was watching a spectator sport

Katie sighed "We know him well enough ok? Just like we know J and Fred. They also worry about Cook, but they told us nothing… loyal fuckers"

"Has it ever occurred to you that we shouldn't stick our noses in his private affair?"

Emily gave my hand a little squeeze "What if we can do something? It's unexpected, but Cook's a friend. We should at least try. The boys are breaking apart Naoms. Fredster's been using weird drugs. JJ is having lock down a lot these days. I was… occupied, didn't even notice until Katie told me" My girl sounded so sad

Geez. What a close bunch. They went through all this just because they thought Cook was having trouble. I bet Emily was burden with guilt right now, guilt for neglecting JJ because she was too involved with me; guilt for letting Eff and Katie know about our private location, because of her love for her friends. I really really didn't want to see her like this

"What makes you think I can help? I'm not even in your little group"

"You do have some crazy methods for fixing up assholes" Katie murmured, "We need you"

Did she mean that infamous bathroom debacle four years ago? Oh Christ. I had no time for this. There were things to settle with Em before jumping back to hell. I'd rather ignore Cook's shitty business and worry about mine. But then Emily would be left with two unsolved problems that pierced her heart. I could do nothing about the later, so may be I should help with the former. They wanted my crazy method? They got it. "Alright, we do this my way. All of you losers scoot elsewhere. I'll give Cookie some smacking. Where is he, anyway?"

"The student dorm" Effy said, unflinching

Weird. Roundview's dorm was pretty much reserved for the special cases who had no home, or neglected by parents. Was he an abused foster kid? Nevertheless, change of plan, too many people loitering around student campus, wouldn't work "Ok, Go, move, need to be alone with him here"

"Uhh, he might not come?" Katie said, confused "Shouldn't we discuss it first?"

"I had no bloody time to waste. If you have better idea, I'm all yours"

"What's your fucking idea then?"

"I beat him up, can't do that with too many witnesses standing by"

She threw me a 'are you nuts' look "You kidding? That's your brilliant plan?"

"And you think speeches will fix him? Wouldn't have worked on you four years ago would it?"

"Four years ago?" Effy quirked her eyebrows at Katie, clearly interested, while my girl was trying hard to not giggle. "Hmmm" Effy stood up from her throne and grabbed the embarrassed twin "How about we wait for you in Vassalls Park's cafeteria? A waste to go elsewhere, such fine weather, so many things to learn"

"No way I'm telling you shit Stonem" Katie protested when she was dragged away. "Em, help me out here!"

"You're on your own bitch" Em smirked, she waited for her sister to get out of sight, then turned to me "Sorry Naoms, for bringing them to our park. But Cook, and Fred, and dear JJ" She looked down, "I tried to call but you didn't pick up, God knows if Effy explain things properly, she lives around the area, so I figur…"

I halted her babbling with a kiss. She's so delicate, so soft. Her tongue called for mine, and our legs gave out as we stumbled and fell. "Let me punish you, then we'll call it even" I moved on top and pinned her hands above her head. "Sound fair enough?" Truth to be told, a picture of Emily right now would be more than enough. Dilated pupils darken the eyes, red strand mingled exquisitely with green grass, pale skin shining with the sun. I kissed her again, relished the way her body writhed beneath me, the way she rubbed against my crotch, making me clench and swirl in rhythm. Wetness began to pool from between my legs. I wanted her inside me, needed her inside me

"Pathetic" I pulled away, panting

"W…What?"

"Can't control myself when I'm with you Em"

She smiled, sweet little smile "Why bother?"

"Yeah, indeed" I paused "On second thought, this would be perfect. Loosing my virginity in a park, to a girl, a VERY cute girl"

She looked at me, stunned "Virgin?"

"Hard for you to believe?"

"Nahhh" She said "Considered how grumpy you are"

"Oiiiii" I pinched her cheeks. She giggled. How cute. How contagious. Her mood lifted me up, and soon we found ourselves laughing freely. I rolled over and lied next to her on the ground, for a moment there life was simple. We were nothing more than two hopelessly romantic teenage girls, fuelled with hormones and its uncomplicated magic.

"Me too, you know" She confessed

"Yeah?"

"Yeah"

"Then" I told her simply "I hope I won't disappoint you"

"You won't" Her calm voice resembled wind chime in hot summer day "And I hope I won't disappoint you"

"You won't"

"Promise?" She held out her pinkie

Ignored the warning, ignored the future. I raised my hand, intertwined her little digit with mine "Promise"

We grinned stupidly at each other.

"Well" She sat up, fixed her hair "I should go join Eff and Katie. Call us when you done" She frowned "He'll come right? I mean, he doesn't know that we know something was wrong"

I smirked, pulled out my phone, dialled Cook's number

"Blondie?" He sounded surprise

"Wanna shag?"

"What?" His tone was nowhere as adorable as Em's amused face

"Oh you know, I'm bored titless, need some orgasmic entertainment here. Can't keep fingering myself forever"

"Kinky, Campbell. You on some weird shit babe?" He actually cared. Oh well, let's see for how long "Cookie's cock doesn't mind, but Cookie wants no trouble. Just fun yeah? You don't do fun, Naomikins"

"Fuck sake Cook, I'm horny, not high. Come here and I'll show you fun"

"Not high ay? Have some prime cut meat, what do you say? Sharing is caring"

"Don't want your drugs, just your cock"

Em made some vomit-y gesture as a comment to my statement. Yeah yeah yeah. Like this was something I wished to do in the first place.

"Finally come to your fucking senses" Cook roared like a maniac "My place or yours?"

I gave him the details of my whereabouts and switched off. "He'll be here soon. Fuck sake, I don't know why you people insist on doing this now. Worst timing ever"

Em shrugged "Fred sorta let it slip that if we wanted to help Cook it'd be today"

"Any idea why?"

"Nope, we don't even know what's his problem to begin with."

"Urghhhhh! Hope we'll solve this fast. Things to do" I mumbled. Emily nodded in agreement, kissed me goodbye then walked away to join her sister. I sat on the bench and waited for Cook to show. Too much alone time wasn't healthy, my brain started thinking, which led to worrying, which led to depression _'Hurry the fuck up, asshole'_

At long last, he came, sauntered towards my spot with a grin on his face, hands inside his pockets. This boy was quite a charmer, he also smiled a lot, but I guessed no one could know for sure what a person buried deep inside. "Yo Blondie" He greeted "Pardon my French. But a park?"

"Hmmm" I gave him my best sexy look "Come on"

"Where?"

"Just off the hiking trail, more… private. Unless you prefer the risk of having your cock uploaded on Youtube?"

"Somebody needs to educate the younglings, Cookie's qualified"

I laughed " No doubt, but I am not". A mixture of naughtiness and puzzlement gleamed in his eyes. Part of him must think this whole affair bizarre, though, bigger part of him didn't give a shit. We walked up a little curving hill situated just behind the lake, and soon its woodland surrounded us completely. I jumped off the trail when we were about far enough, he followed suit "Bloody trees get you excited babe? Tarzan and Jane obsession?"

'_Should be fine here'_ I stopped, waved Cook over; he took it as an invitation and grabbed my arms, attempted to pull me close '_Too bad, this body's spoken for'_. I caught his wrist with both hands, lifted it in an arch quickly spun one hundred eighty degree around. I bended forward and threw him over my shoulder with the momentum; poor Cookie landed with a thud. What would Sensei have said, I wondered; She used to ramble on about the body, the mind, the spirit, and how we were only trained to defend ourselves or protect the people we love. Umm, in a way it was for Cook's benefit, just helping the helpless, Sensei.

Though, this boy possessed plenteous amount of energy, gotta finished him quick. I held Cook's throat down with my knee and grabbed his right arm. '_There you are'_ skilled fingers immediately found the radial notch at the joint of his elbow; I gave it a strong flick with my thumb.

"ARGHHHHHHH" He howled in agony. Well, not quite, Human's brain was a funny thing. Ulnar nerve- which ran outside everyone's elbow joint-tended to send wrong messages when poked. Physically, Cook wasn't wounded, his brain just told him that he was. Must tingle like hell, poor bastard. I gave him few kicks to the stomach "That, is for making three pretty girls worry; and that, is for ruining my day, stupid wanker"

"Stop… Help… You mental?"

"Think you can hide your problem Cook? Everyone worries about you. Pissed me off, seeing sad faces." _'Especially my girl's sad face'_ More kicks sent to lower region "Whatever shitty business you're in, let us help. Don't wallow in drugs and hurt your friends. They all wan…"

"FRIENDS MY ASS" He yelled, blocked my feet with his arms and knocked me over. _Shit!_ I rolled away and prepared to take his attacks, but none came. He crawled to the nearest tree and rested his back against the trunk. I had never seen him cry, but when I did, it was dreadful "Cookie has no friend"

I cautiously moved towards him, making sure he wouldn't do anything violent. I sat down, held his hands "Yes you do. The girls care about you so much that they annoyed me, why do you think I beat you up, idiot"

He stayed silent

"Hey, what's the deal here? I'm not prying, but you worth a lot to our girls, can't let you slip away"

"Eff said I worth a lot?"_Ahh, he fancies Effy then_

"And Katie, and Emily. Them boys loved you too, you know, they were loyal friends. Told Katie nothing, drove her nuts I should say"

"No loyalty. Just guilt. Just fucking guilt" He looked at me, all vulnerable, like a little boy

"What?"

"Fred. He fucked mum. She bloody let him… she… on my fucking birthday" _Oh_ _Shit. _He went on "Couldn't live there no more… Couldn't. But Fred, JJ… Three musketeers right?... Cookie can't drop them, can't drop the messes. Bloody hurt. Every fucking year. Every year"

My eyes widen in surprise "Is today your birthday?"

"No, it's my brother's"

_Ehh. Now I'm confused_

"It's Paddy's birthday. Smart kid… has to much of energy, like big bro" Cook's shaky voice was full of pride "It's always us right. Always us, when dad left, when mom turned into fucking Junkie. Love that little man to bits. But I ran Naomikins. Fucking ran. Couldn't bear it. Fred and mum. Couldn't come back…"

"There there, easy" I pulled him close, not quite embracing, but enough to give comfort

"Wrote me a letter, week ago"

"Your bro?" I asked softly

"Yeah! He needs me man… Said it was lonely… And Mum. Our birthdays were for her to get trashed. It used to be fun, before Pop left… But now, just excuses. Those artists, those reporters, they give a fuck about my Paddy. And she fucks them… She fucked Freddie. Cookie's broken, Cookie fixes nothing"

'_What irony_!' I though, '_that I'm surrounded my people who has so much love in them, and yet they don't notice'_ "Sorry Cook"

I slapped him

"WAKE THE FUCK UP" I grabbed his head and force him to look me in the eyes "You have your family right here. Family who care about you"

"I have no…"

"Yes you do" I said confidently "Why the heck did you stick with Fred huh? Why? I wouldn't if I was you. Fucked your mum didn't he. But you love him, and he loves you right back. It's family, Cook. Even when they disappoint you, you can't drop them_" Unlike mine, my family, I'm only loved when it's convenient_ "If you fall, we'll lift you up. If you can't help your brother, we'll support you. Fred and JJ care, a lot, they just don't know how to solve this"

"It's guilt man, it's just guilt" He looked away. So stubborn, this boy

"If it's 'just guilt' then they would have told the girls and asked for help. Yet they didn't betray you, they keep it inside. Are you like this? this stoned, this miserable, on your birthday?"

He blinked "N..No"

"See? It isn't Fred, it's your Mum. She's the one who's hurting you. Have to stop doing this to yourself every year Cookie."

"It'll go away. It's just a while" He mumbled

"And you're ok with that?" Scary, If he hadn't met the twins or Effy this year at Roundview, what would have happened? "Stop struggling on your own. We'll help you face your mum, and get your little bother back"

"Get Patrick back" He said wishfully, almost to himself

"Yeah" I smiled "He wrote you a letter, big boy. Gotta save him from the evil queen. You'll be the hero, we'll be the sidekicks"

He laughed "Cookie's a hero"

"Damn right, hero's not alone"

"Since when you turned into a people person, Naomikins?" He asked, puzzled

"Don't have any ideas. Just want to solve your problem so that I can get back to mine. The girls won't leave me in peace until I fix you up"

"You have a problem?"

Geez, it was preschool all over again 'I show you mine, you show me yours' sort of business "Plenty, none that you can solve"

"You're not alone, you know"

I remained silent, and he dropped the subject as soon as he said it. "Come on, people are waiting for us" I tried to wipe the dust off his clothes to make him somewhat presentable. Cook spoke the truth, no doubt everyone would at least gave me support if I asked. They were good people. But our situations weren't the same. Though, gotta admit, it felt strangely pleasant, helping the clueless. Of course, I was pissed that I had to wait to settle things with Emily. We'd pretty much have our hands full with Patrick's birthday party tonight. Cook needed to come back home, and we gotta be there for his sake

"Blondie?" he touched my hand "Can we… Can we leave Fred out? I'm not ready, not yet"

"Sure. We'll talk to the girls yeah?"

I led him out of the woods and we walked towards Vassalls Park's cafeteria. Funny, the way he held my hand, like a lost little boy

_Hang on_

"Cook?" I asked, my body shaking "You said your mom knew some artists?"

"She's one herself. Photographer. Used to love her work you know? After Pop left her art turned to shit. Her brain turned to shit"

From the distant, I could spot three beautiful girls waving at us. One girl in particular had captured my heart. But now, the café faded away, the park faded away, even Emily faded away. Only one question remained in my head, tormenting

" What's her name?"

"Ruth Byatt"

_Oh No. That's mean_… I was grateful that he couldn't see my face, for the panic would have drained me dead, white as ghost. _Wait. Think. Brain. Think_. Roundview College, When we met, he looked nothing like that boy many years ago. Even introduced himself as "Cookie Monster", teased me endlessly when he heard "Naomi Campbell" announced during assembly. He dropped his pants, showed everyone his cock. Weeks later he offered me a shag, which I refused. The guy didn't waste anytime, just grinned, then moved on to other conquests

He didn't remember

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…

…

"_I reckon you found 'James' to be extremely boring"_

"_There's about ten James in my school" He whined "If I went to your school … millions of James"_

"_We do have some weird names. Though not a lot"_

"_You don't find your name boring?" _

"_It's alright" I bended down and scratched Sho's ears "We have to respect what our parents gave us. If you're unhappy then make sure you give your kids something better" _

"Children_…" James had on this far-away look. A daydreamer type eh? Probably locked inside the house for too long by his over protective mom. He had to man up, in my opinion, can't be soft and delicate like a princess. "Look" I sighed, ruffled his hair "Worry about your soon to be born baby brother for now. He will need a tough man to protect him won't he? Stop crying, and walk forward. You'll be stronger"_

"_Easy for you to say, you have your Grandfather's blood"_

"_More like Grandma" I laughed "It doesn't matter. You're part of us as well. Bravery is inside you"_

_He smiled, feeling all proud and happy at the encouragement. My heart jolted a little at the sight. How come I didn't notice before? This boy, he was so charming._

_

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_**Vassalls Park's pretty vast, but it's not quite the same as described. Please don't flame me if you find fault in details. I visited Bristol, not living there**


	10. The girl who glows under the sun

Deepest apologise for the last chapter, it was weak and was nothing but an excuse of plot. I sincerely hope this one flare better in term of writing. Forgive me

Zineb. You're the first one to spot my Miyazaki reference in the title. Yes, he inspired me, but no, this is not a crossover so Naomi aint Sheeta. I would never dare to temper with Miya sama's magic. No offence to people who create Skins

**Disclaimer:** Don't own skins, please go sue someone else

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After "What's wrong with Cook" was solved, "What's wrong with Naomi" came up. We were delighted to see them walking towards the café, hand in hand like a fucking couple-not that I complained, she did more than just helped him. To be honest, the whole 'Fred shagged my mum' business was deplorable. Poor Cook, if we hadn't intervened this year, sooner or later he would have gone completely mental. All of us-excluding Fred-agreed to gather at Uncle Keith's around six, to accompany him home. Katie and Panda even took him out to buy presents beforehand. Sounded ok right? Well, it would be if Naoms weren't so damn strange. When she first came back her face was as pale as ghost; then I watched her emotion shifted from fearful, to… alarmingly serious. Before my girl was nothing but reluctant, now she jumped on board with such hard-core attitude, as if we were going to fight a war. Must like Cook more than I thought she did.

Effy stole her family's car and drove us to our remote destination. Apparently Cook's mom was a famous artist named Ruth Byatt, whom Effy knew of. Ruth was great…in the beginning of her career, then it all turned to shit because of personal trauma, or so I was told. It must suck for Pad, surrounded by Mum's bedmates on his birthday, locked in a room while adults had promiscuous fun. Fortunately it made his party a lot easier to crash, for everyone would be too stoned to notice our un-posh little group of teenagers

"This place hasn't changed" JJ commented when we arrived "Dad said I shouldn't mingle here without Cook's presence, even though the upper echelons value virgins, Asperger was treated with polite disregard" Upper echelon huh? My feet wobbled as Katie pushed me out of the car. _Fucking Hell!_ This…mansion was intimidating. Humongous sandstone structure, large French windows, and an odd sense of unobtainable grace lurked in its atmosphere. I looked around _'Oh sweet Lord! How many gardeners do they hire?'_ What I saw was a mini jungle, lit up by beautiful pedestal lanterns and illuminated cobbles paths. It felt stupid; we put so much effort in getting Patrick some gifts-my eyes trailed to the bags which Pandora and JJ was holding- surely the boy must have everything money could buy

Apart from love, of course

"Mediocre" Effy said, clearly unimpressed

"Mediocre?" Thomas exclaimed, "My whole village could live here" _Ain't that true_. I turned to Naomi, searched for an awe struck face that resembled my own, only to find her eyeing Panda, full of guilt and shame, as if she knew something she should not.

"Front door's probably open" Cook guided us through. It wasn't locked like he said, but one glance at the interior made me think that they didn't trouble themselves because there was nothing worth stealing. For such sumptuous outward masquerade, the indoor was disappointedly bare. Both sides of its reception hall led to additional rooms, which had just few pieces of scattered furniture, and its decorative art works were akin to something taken from playboy catalogue. Sleepy music as well as hideous universal noise of fucking were mixed up to one unpleasant sound. _A child lives here? Someone please call social services!_ Anyway, this wasn't time to remark on stuff, "where's Patrick's room?" My girl took hold of Cook's hand-an action which made Katie frown, she wasn't used to Naoms being all supportive. '_Strange_' I mused '_They're like brother and sister'_

"First floor" He mumbled, we followed him upstairs, albeit clumsily. What a mess! Didn't these folks have maids? I manoeuvred through a sea of cigarette butts and broken glasses. This was no place to rear a child. We were about to make a turn when dozens of people suddenly poured out from the end of the corridor, most of them either were half naked or wore minimal clothing. I winced, artists and critics of what? Porn movies? Poor Cook, no wonder why he was afraid to ask for help. Whoever his mom was I hoped we skipped the pleasantries

"James?" This drunken voice belonged to an orange hair woman, whose make up was as aesthetic as the Joker in Hollywood's Batman film. "What are you doing here? Ungrateful little twerp" Charming! My heart broke for our dear friend. He stayed dead quiet, had no comeback, just stood there like a small, vulnerable kid; what a contrast to the wild monster we knew! His Mom, his Dad, Fed, Effy… Cook sure had a trend for loving people who were too fucked up to love him back

"Someone need to keep Pad company on his birthday, so you don't have to" Thank God for Elizabeth Stonem. She had on such sweet angelic face that you would never notice the crude sarcasm unless you knew her well enough to read the twinkle shone in her eyes. My sister followed suit-not many knew this, but Katie could fake being adorable like an expert- "I hope we're not intruding, Ms Byatt"

"Knock yourself out!" The old hag said absentmindedly "Move" We were pushed and shoved by her stoned, drunken entourage. Such a cliché! She hadn't seen her son for... what? Three years? And yet... I expected at least some hassle, but none came, meaning the situation was direr than I thought. This might sound crazy, but if she had yelled or kicked him in the nuts, at least we would have known that she cared, cared enough to be pissed or got angry. Feeling invisible at home was one of the worst treatments a child could get. Cook probably fooled himself into thinking that he was loved, so he could gain enough the courage to raise his little bro, until she fucked Fred and shattered this last illusion. I sighed, turned to Naoms for some sympathetic responds, only to get perplexed by the relief look flashed through her face. _What's this?_ She let out a breath I didn't know she had been holding, then squeezed Cook's hand tighter and said "Come on, Patrick needs you"

He turned around and eyed each of us sceptically, searching for judgemental reaction '_Awww, whatever family you have, we love you still'_ "You're strong Cook" I encouraged him

"Like a monster" Katie grabbed my arm and pulled me close "Gotta protect your sibling yeah?"

Panda chimed in "I would totally dote on my bro, if I ever got one, since mum has this thing with men because grandpop kicked her out of the hou…" She caught Naomi's glare "Ummm… Je suis desole. Too much info, right. Stupid mouth. We're here for you Cook"

"We are" All of us confirmed

I knew he was touched, though he said nothing. The boy paused for a minute, then turned back with his trademark Cheshire cat grin. Before, this façade had made me groan, but now I understood, he led a harsh life, where over-the-top defend mechanism would be needed. In a way, it was strangely reassuring to have our monster back. "Let's go fucking mental! In moderation yeah? Our little guy is eight, you know what I mean?" He laughed, then ran towards his bother's room and slammed his fist on the door as soon as he reached the target "Patrick. Look who's here mate"

A small boy sprang out and jumped into his arms almost immediately "COOK" He squealed, "You came. You got my mail. I knew you would" Something churned inside me as I witnessed such display of affection. _'They are brothers alright' _Light brown hair, light blue eyes, loved wearing suspenders. Genetic worked in mysterious way. James Fitch had no common with us in term of look-or personality for that matter- while Eff and Patrick were splitting images of their older bros. "You brought friends?" The boy asked

"And presents. The more the merrier. You remember JJ don't you Pad, No? Aww. You used to call him Harry Potter cuz of his tricks. Panda here wanna show you some twister moves. Thomas' super duper nice yeah? From Congo, he can teach you French, sounds real posh" He bragged about us with pride "Them twins are sweethearts, Katie and Emily" He whispered something about Eff in Pad's ears, made him giggle, to which Effy just smirked and winked "Then there's Naomikins. She knows Kung Fu"

Patrick's face lit up "Like Jackie Chan?"

"Aikido isn't Kung Fu" My girl said "Just for self-defence"

"Cool" He jumped down from his brother's arms and invited us in "Charlie bought tons of presents. Though some of the guidelines are in Japanese. He said it would help my language skill. No fun. Games you can't play"

"Japanese is whizzing wicked, loads of alphabets. Learning can be torturous ain't it Nao chan? So far I can only remember thirty seven types of Kimono" Panda said as we went in. Heck, it was huge, even his bed was unnecessarily gigantic for a kid. Heaps of toys as well as paper wraps stacked up like mountains. Naomi groaned, at long last, a gesture I could understand. My girl wasn't keen on modern toys, fortunately she wasn't someone who forced ideas down your throat. "I remember" Patrick gasped, "Jonah Jeremiah, you're the dragon, with flame and everything" He ran to JJ "We saved the princess on my birthday. Nearly burned the lawn right bruv?" He frowned "Where's Freddie?"

_Oh fuck!_

"NIPPLE CRIPPLE" Cook roared and snatched his little boy, threw him on the bed "Nipple cripple nipple cripple" Patrick laughed as his brother poked at said sensitive area "Wanna give me a hand?" Cook grinned. Panda and JJ dropped their bags and immediately jumped on board, while Katie grabbed a pillow and smacked it on my face Oiiiiiiii "Gear up wanker" She turned to Effy and made the brunette her next victim, soon enough all of us engaged in either tickle fest or pillow fight, or both. I had never seen Naomi laughed so hard, never seen Effy this cheerful. I pulled my girl down and we ended up rolling on the floor, giggling as our friends busy battled each other like mad cow on steroid. To say Naomi was gorgeous would be an understatement. If she let her hair grow, if she put on some decent dresses … wait a minute. Hair. I knew my girl wasn't blonde, she had natural light brown colour.

A bit like Cook

A Lot like Cook,…

"Alright guys! Present time" Naomi climbed back onto Patrick's bed, and untangled him from the cocoon of sheet which he got stuck in during our combat. "Yayy… Presents. More presents" He smiled brightly. Those brothers were so charming, I watched as Naomi scooped Pad up in her arms. _Weird_. With the right hair colour them three would look like relatives. '_Urghh, just your imagination Em'_ I helped JJ gather the gifts and gave them to Cook.

"Happy Birthday bruv" _Oh bloody hell!_ The way he said it, broke my heart

"Wicked" Patrick tore through the papers with glee "When I'm sixteen, I can do things that mom does, and won't be given toys no more"

"Who said that?" Cook scoffed

"Mother did. Adults don't do toys, have to manage the house. I need to help you" Pad replied innocently "You'll come back after University right? You're the eldest. This place is yours" Naomi and Cook went stiff at those words. _WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER? GOD!_ "Cool! Monopoly, I never got to play. Can we play?"

"Sure bruv, but open the rest yeah?"

Patrick grinned and attacked his next gift, delighted to see twister mat emerged from the wrapper. Pandapop would have fun with this one. He opened the last box, which had a cute stuffed beagle inside "Wow. Thanks Cook"

"It's from everyone kiddo"

"Should I name him?" Pad looked at us for ideas

"You can either go classic, like 'Spot' or 'Plato'" JJ offered "or go bit nuts like those celebrities and name him Zarathustra. Statistically most kids choose names from the TV programs they watch. My teddy bear is Captain Spock"

"Funny name for a bear"

"Sho" Cook said, almost to himself

"What?" Naoms panicked, She sure was jumpy today. Everything could set her off, for no apparent reason. Yes, she recoiled when people poked at her past, but no one was poking. And if danger lurked around, why would she come here? Made no sense

"There's this girl. Distant relative" Cook continued "Forgot who she was. Had this dog named Sho something. Can't remember. Thought it was original like. Unique, you know?"

"Sho" Panda mused "Sounds like Japanese. Whizzer name isn't it. Don't think it's for dogs though. Or it might. Sho means soaring, usually… Or justice. Do dogs go with justice Thomo?"

"In my village dogs go with hunting"

"Super!" Patrick jumped up and down on his bed "Sho, Sho, Sho. Soaring. Look how I soar" He smiled at his brother "Can we play? I always want to play Monopoly" Poor Kid! I supposed he never had a chance at broad games since they usually required more than one participant. Cook said his bro didn't have any friends at school, and with a mom like that, who needed playmates?

"I'll go get some food, and drinks." My girl proposed. "Have any cake? It is your birthday"

"Charlie bought one" Pad shrugged "He took care of the food, and bought me lots of toys. Mom said he excelled in housekeeping, because he's queer. I wait until I'm REALLY hungry to eat the cake, the WHOLE cake. Cook can do that, it's so cool" He beamed "Charlie always scowls me when he cleans the kitchen. 'Mister Patrick, a nice young man like you can not be inclined towards such impecunious behaviour'. What is impecunious?"

"Poor" Naomi smiled. "How about we share the cake this time? That way Charlie won't scowl you"

"Will bruv and I get bigger pieces?"

"Of course. Let's party yeah!" At first I thought she was being considerate, until she nudged Panda "Help? Can't bring all of that up here on my own"-It sounded a bit weird, like she was pleading. And the look she gave, I knew that look. The '_I need you'_ look; she did that to me whenever she wanted some private snogging. Though with Panda, I had no clue what she would need her for. If it was just to carry trays, why not one of the boys? Was this about their 'secret', so to speak? _'Do not pry, Em, do not pry'_ I forced myself to focus on our board game as they disappeared from the room "So, Who's with who?"

"You're with me" My sister commanded. _'Like you let me team with someone else'_. JJ quickly sat next to Thomas, Cook was with Patrick, that meant Eff…

Huh?

Her eyes were glued at the door. I had never seen Effy this… determined and… worry. _'That's strange. Even for her standard'_ Sure, she was weird, her actions were unpredictable at best, but she didn't care, didn't pry for the sake of it. Unless it had something to do with those she valued, like Cook, for example; then Eff would take matters into her own hands and try to solve things. But Cook seemed fine now, to be honest it was Naomi who…

Naomi

Did Effy notice? Oh for fuck sake! She's Elizabeth Stonem, of course she did. "Where's your state of the art bathroom Cook?" The brunette asked casually "In desperate need for a wee". Thomas' eyes went ultra huge when he heard "Fifth door on the left"- this must be foreign to him, such wealth- Effy nodded and sauntered out like a spy on special call. Unacceptable, plain unacceptable. Who gave her permit to dig into Naomi's past? 'Need a wee' Bollocks! I knew she went looking for my girl, whom I spent weeks, WEEKS, to open up, WEEKS to support without asking for anything in return. Now she finally promised to spill the truth. No one had permission…. '_Since when you become possessive, Fitch?'_ Naomi did act strange this evening though. May be it wasn't about her secret. May be it wasn't

"Oh no! Stupid income tax" Katie grumbled "Em, where's the money?" I looked at her, but my heart was elsewhere. Whatever Effy had planning, I wouldn't let her do it alone. Naoms was mine, she was my girlfriend, I swore to protect her. If she stuck in some sort of trouble, I couldn't just sit here and play Monopoly while Elizabeth Fucking Stonem played detective.

"Take the money" I shoved piles of paper in Katie's hands "Nature's call" Lame excuse, never had that Stonem finesse to pull off a lie. My feet dashed out of Pad's room before she could spot something strange. Ok… Where were they? I grabbed my mobile. Heck. These large walls made the signal went funky. This mansion reminded me of Castle House Museum, outside it was one typical square block, inside it was a maze. Should start with the kitchen. Hang on. _'Where's the kitchen?_' Naomi didn't even ask, was she here before? Did she know the place? What the fuck!

I ran downstairs, logically kitchen was on ground floor. There was this long passage behind the reception hall, must be it. The light was pretty dim though, I observed. Creepy. Where were Ruth's naked entourage? I walked into the bleak darkness, so many doors here, like a hotel. Which one…

"Marvellous. Just marvellous" A man suddenly appeared from nowhere, scared the shit out of me "Touch it! Feel it" He caressed what seemed like a picture of…emmm… boobs. Another two came, they all looked ragged, delusional and inebriate. "Sweet girl" they tried to grab me "Come! Such art! Spread the love. Spread the love yes? It fades… away" Somebody "HELP!" I howled, just to hear my voice died within these thick stones. "Sod. Off. Wankers" I stomped on their feet, made them scream in pain "Here's. Your. Fucking. Love" Luckily they were too enervate to put up a fight "NAOMI, PANDA, YOU GUYS AROUND?" No answers, that meant they weren't here, so I raced upstairs as fast as I could. Jesus Chirst! Did Cook ever consider that Freddie might be raped? Used your son's birthday as an excuse to get fucked up was one thing; this… whatever this was, should be reported to the NSPCC

I was about to reach the top when I caught a tall silhouette moving towards east corridor. Effy. She kept opening one room after another, but did not come in. I followed her footsteps, "Eff, wait" she turned around, smirked when she saw me "You fucked her then?"

"What?"

"Why else are you here? Notice, didn't you? How strange she is" She continued checking out the rooms. "You can't read people the way I do, Fitch. And Naomi's pretty much impalpable, unless you know her well enough to tell the difference. Am I wrong?"

"No, it's just…" I scratched my head, embarrassed "We're together, but not…. Sex. I mean, not yet" Oh, fuck it, this wasn't about me "You think she's in trouble? It's weird, I had a feeling that she knows this place"

"For her kind, this is nothing, she could tell the structure as soon as she saw it" _Kind? What kind?_ "Bingo" Effy's face lit up like Christmas tree as another door flew open. Oh My God. Inside stored rows after rows of shelves, but it wasn't a library, for no books could be found. Instead, portfolios and photographs stacked up sky high. "Hello, Pretty little pictures"

"So, you aren't here for Naoms? I thought you were concern" I asked. She ignored me and checked the date on each shelve "When did Naomi move to Bristol?"

Geez. Talk about changing subject. "Fuck if I know, she was in middle school with us. We were twelve" Effy nodded and walked to the far end. "Look Eff, Naomi said she would tell me the truth. If she's in trouble now, I need to support her; but if it's about her past, then what's done is done. I don't want to pry. She or Panda…" My speech was cut off as one particular picture caught my attention. It was framed and placed on the wall like some sort of prize. '_Those two boy, Princes William and Harry'_ I had seen this before, on countless postcards. Royal portraits were often stiff with unnatural air - after all, those people didn't live in the same world as us. But this picture, it had life. William was about six, Harry was four, and they both looked mucked up from holding a newborn lamb on soft golden hay. It was so endearing-not because they appeared 'normal'- they were simply children, and that by itself had enough magic

"Ruth's finest work" Effy spoke while flipping through a portfolio "She was good, emphasis on was"

"She took this?"

"Hard to believe isn't it? Didn't know Cook was her son. He doesn't smell the same way, or act the same way. Too much blood from his father side, I guess" _Smell? Blood? What is he? A vampire?_ Effy kept checking those portfolio like she had checked the rooms previously "Ruth is some Lord's granddaughter, didn't inherit his estate, but she got connection. Enough to make her name by photographing aristocrats. The woman is gifted, to be fair, her early portraits are one of a kind"

"You mean" I gasped "Cook has noble blood?"

"Yeah well, it does things to you. High infancy death rate, unstable mentality… Look at Ruth, she went downhill after her husband left. Normal folks would just move on" Effy snickered "Too much inbreeding through the centur…" Her eyes widen in shock, she no longer flipped through the pages, but stared at… whatever she found, face white as ghost. "What is it?" I had never seen Effy speechless before

She closed the portfolio, put it back, and pulled me into her arms. '_Woaaaaaaa'_ Since when she became… affectionate? "I'm sorry" She whispered in my ears "What?" I freaked. But she refused to let go "There's nothing I can do". Eff released me from her embrace. '_Cryptic much?'_ She couldn't meet my eyes, just shook her head guiltily, and walked out of the room.

"What was that?" I stood there, dumbfounded, talking to myself. Eff wasn't here to pry, I had a hunch that she was trying to help Naoms, but this theory seemed strange now. How could flipping through pictures help? Not to mention… Oh My God 'There's nothing I can do' Did she…

I grabbed the portfolio which she had just put back moments ago. Portraits after portraits of Lords, Barons, Marquess… greeted me in various poses. My heart hammered down with each page. I kept flipping until my eyes fell upon one particular photo.

The background was breathtaking, as it should. I knew this place. Everyone knew this place, this castle. It was constructed on the highest hill of Derbyshire, thick fogs swirled around it almost throughout the year due to crappy English climate. Vast woodland, as well as large chunk of earth, was swallowed by these curtains of mist; and the castle appeared as if it was built on air, floating to the sky with heavenly grace. No matter who you were-let it be rich or poor, man or woman, artists or critics, such wondrous sight would dazzle you speechless. This glorious achievement of nature and architect was named "The Ascending Palace", which belonged to-If memory served me well-The Duke and Duchess of Harlington, whose treasures could rival that of the reigning Queen. But Ruth specialised in portrait, and this was a portrait of one little girl. She sat solemnly in the foreground of green field, a tri-colour hunting dog rested its head on her lap. They looked quite tranquil amidst the intense wind-which gathered up her long brown hair as it swept through. The palace soared brilliantly behind her back, almost like pure magic. There was something familiar about this girl, the way she shone under the sun, the way her blue eyes glowed. I trailed down and read the printed text

**Naomi Josepha Harlington**

**The Future Heir**

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**Disclaimer:**

**Peak District (or Derbyshire) is home of the Duke and Duchess of Devonshire. Anything that's related to the Cavendish family is pure coincident, this is fiction guys. My utmost respect to the (late) Andrew and Deborah Cavendish (nee Deborah Mitford) for making Chatsworth what it is today. The Harlington title is something I made up, as well as Ascending Palace, They don't exist.**

**Some of you know that I'm leaving England, so about update, I don't know, I'll try to keep writing as regularly as I could. Hope to have your support, as always.**


	11. Where the stars don't shine

Post this just right before I boarded the plane. Thanks for all of your previous reviews, I seem to gain some new readers and loose a bit of the old ones… dunno if that's a good thing. But well

**Disclaimer**: Don't own skins

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Where on earth was Emily?

She wasn't in school this whole morning, neither was Eff. Kit Kat just shrugged and said "headache of some kind" but if she were sick she would answer my call wouldn't she? What the hell! And here I thought that after last night I finally had a break. Just saying, it was a relief to find out that Ruth was too fucked in the head to remember who I was. Granted, we met once, eight years ago; but grandma surely kept in touch, since Cook was my distant cousin, and that meant 'potential future marriage' in our society. We couldn't couple up with our close relatives anymore, not after the first Great War, so we needed to keep the blood in the family somehow. Last thing I wanted was to drag Cook along with my personal drama, and if he knew, everyone would know. Panda swore to keep him out of the loop as much as she could manage, poor girl, she had no idea that Cook was one of us, and freaked out when I told her I was going back to Peak District, nearly dropped Pad's birthday cake on the floor. She must think me mental, "They never catch the guy Nao, what if you come back, and he kills you. Or she, whoever that wacker is. They couldn't replace you with anyone else either, last I heard" But I had no choice. In case it all became a catastrophe, Panda was my only link, she was the only person who could control shit rationally if news like…well, like

Like I was murdered

If such news reached Cook's ears, or if the one who threatened me found out about my life in Bristol through Mrs Byatt, things would get ugly. It was a lot to put on Panda's shoulders, but I had no one else. I didn't even know how Emily would react… It's… Now with Cook involved, there were too much risks. Just too much, too unpredictable. It wasn't about me, or about me and Emily anymore; Emily, Emily, I needed her, couldn't keep these feelings locked up in my chest. I wanted to see her, wanted to tell her the truth

But she was no where to be found. I spent ages listened to Kieran babbling about stuff I already knew, bored as fuck. What happened to Em? She seemed Ok last light, bit worry-heck, we all worried about Cook-she was quiet towards the end, as we all were when Patrick asked us to come back. The little boy thought that big bro had found new cool mates in college and wouldn't want to spend time with a kid no more, thus if those new cool mates agreed to play with him, Cook would as well. What absurd logic! But what could you say? 'It isn't you, this is about Freddie who fucked Mom'? We were happy that Cook gained some confident, and with our help he might eventually move back home; but the whole affair was awkward, no one behaved normally last night. Unless I missed something, Grandma used to comment that such brain was wasted on me because I was an aloof little child, not very perceptive in term of human demeanour. Emily could read my mood like an open book, always there to guide me through without asking what was wrong. I couldn't do that, incapable of noticing things. What a lousy girlfriend I was

Kieran continued to bore my ass off with his theory on social imbalance and welfare state. This was ridiculous, why would you need schooling when you were about to leave at the end of the semester? Only if she was here to brighten the day…

I was thinking of ditching class when a flash of light caught my attention. It's the phone, someone texted me. Em? Yes! It was her. My insides did a little dance "I'm at your house. Waiting. Come back when you can" Huh? My house? I knew she wasn't sick, suspected that much; but my house? What the heck?

I took off without saying a word. Kieran did look surprised, for a bit, then he grumbled himself back to class rather quickly. Fuck if I cared, he knew I always got top mark, after all Grandpa dearest was in the House of Lord. Well, he should retire by now; my dad must have taken over. Bastard, he thought his fortune worth more than his kid, I'd rather a dead father, than one like mine; I'd rather Jason, who loved me and spoiled me no matter what.

I ran home as fast as possible. Something wasn't right, Em didn't just skip school for… for what? Meddling around my house? "Em? Emily?" I pushed open the front door, just to find mom busy scrubbing shit off our sofa-So much for communal living-"She's up in your room, bit white in the face" I frowned, what happened? My feet raced upstairs with urgency

Had you been rendered speechless at a sight before? I knew I had. Didn't take much, mane of red hair, deep warm brown eyes, rosy lips, pale skin which almost shone in the dark-pretty much what greeted me as I crossed the threshold. She sat on my bed, her whole body bathed in golden hue of sunlight. One morning without her had put such strain on me, now that strain was lifted. _'What is love? If this ain't?_' This longing, this yearning, so strong that I would give up my own life to keep

"Hey" I smiled, but she didn't smile back. Her palms clutched some sort of paper nervously "What's wrong?" I closed the door and sat down next to her

"I'm sorry, I can't beg for your forgiveness. It's just… yesterday. You were strange, and Effy…. Shit! This sounded better when I first rehearsed" She shoved that weird crumbled paper in my hands "I didn't mean to I swear" I looked down, it was actually a photo, ripped at the edge. _'Did she steal it or what?' _Then my heart stopped. This picture, Ruth took it after I walked back with Cook and Sho from the woods. My home, my Ascending Palace, so glorious, so magnificent in the background, yet at the same time, so cruel. "Please say something" Emily begged. She saw this, she knew

What to say? I grabbed the pillow and smashed it violently against the wall, the table, the chair… It ached, it fucking ached. My heart shrieked, my voice shrieked, and my tears fell. There were million things to ask, millions things to be angry about, but I spoke of one "IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ME" I seized Em, pulling her close "IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ME. I would have told you, you would have heard it, FROM ME, not a picture. Not Ruth. Not like this" I stared straight at her

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry" she chanted, eyes full of tears

"Why Em? Why did you? How did you?"

"Yesterday… Effy" She shook her head "You were so weird, and serious. I thought, I thought… It wasn't about your past, Then Effy… I followed her, found this. Didn't mean to I swear" she clasped my hands in hers "Please, don't hate me" Hate her?

"I could never hate ya" It was the truth. "Yesterday, it was because of Cook. I should have told you, but there hadn't time. He's my relative"

"Yeah, I did guess" Her sobs died down a bit "Panda as well?" Eh? Panda? I laughed, which made her frown "She's not. We're close because she's an illegitimate child. Look at my mom, half of my breeding is not that great, or so I was told" Emily winced, these stuff did sound barbarous "Cook's father side isn't either, but he's still the eleventh great grandson of Lord Ishley. That makes him my relatives. I didn't want to drag anyone in…He…" Fuck! It was so complicated, where to start?

"There there" She held me tight "No matter who you were, I…" She inhaled a deep breath "I love you"

I froze. My heart knew she loved me, but to hear it out loud… I felt the birth of million kinds of sensations, all good sensations that made tears flow; yet this great fear which dwelled inside me for so long refused to surrender. Soon enough I was torn, and tears flew even more "Em… I. I'm leaving" Can't lie to her, just can't

"What?" Oh, the pain on her face, worse than being stabbed by hot iron "Can't stay here Em. It's not finish. I have to go back. We shouldn't be together until, until…"

"UNTIL WHEN?" She yelled "You claim your inheritance? Be with 'Your kind'? Whatever the fuck it…"

"I NEVER WANT THAT BLOODY CASTLE" How could anyone ever understand? "What do you know? You think the great house run itself? You think we sit on our asses, wait for maids and the likes to serve us? You think it's fun learning Greek or Latin or whatever languages before you could even count to ten in English?"

"What's the problem then? You're Naomi Campbell right? Just say no to all of that" Say no? How naïve! Her kind. Just because they saw a few pictures on OK Magazine, they thought they knew how our world would operate. "You don't say no to something like The Harlington title Emily. In my case it might mean death. Do you know anything about the inheritance tax?" This question took her by surprise, of course she didn't know. Ninety percent of English folks did not have to worry about that. For the rest ten percent, those who were self-made billionaires could scratch it off, but for us, it was a huge blow in the nuts "We call it death duties Emily. Inherit Ascending Palace means spending your whole life paying tax. We have rules. Queen Elizabeth didn't just 'happen' to marry her distant cousin, she wasn't forced either. It's not an understandable. I don't want to be a part of it. But say no? You think it's simple and easy?" How to explain? All that treasures, all that heirlooms, people had killed for less "My Grandpa owns things that worth half of the world's daily expense. Saying no means England's wealth being ripped apart. It's dangerous. So dangerous, I can't just stay here and hide, I can't drag you, or Cook, or anyone in. I… I love you Em"

There, three magic letter words "I love you, It fucking hurts. Hurts so much. You freed me, you make me feel so alive, you gave me hope. How c…"

She jumped into my arms and kissed me before I could finish "You love me?" She smiled "You really really love me?" Her hair, her scent, her warmth; everything about her was food for my soul. I did have my doubts, since we were both so young. There was no doubt now

"I love you, Emily Fitch, you have no idea how much"

"Tell me then" She said

"what?"

"How much do you love me"

Oh "It's…" I touched her face, her cheeks, my eyes got sucked into her brown ones "It's huge, and it grows, every single day" I kissed her forehead "Grows to where the sky is, then it grows to where the sun shines" Probably not enough, Not enough at all for my girl "Then it grows to where the stars shine, then to where the stars don't even shine anymore, and even beyond that"

She kissed me, her lips were so soft, but this kiss wasn't soft. I felt her tongue invading, frantic and urgent "Show me" Before my wit came back to my brain, she pulled me to the bed and started stripping off her clothes "Wait Em, I don't want you t…"

"Shut up" She smashed her lips against mine, took my hand, and placed it on her bare breast. I felt a slow burn flickering from deep within, chased away all rational thoughts. Her heart was beating faster, her nipples were getting harder, and I… Oh Fuck it. I pushed her onto the bed and climbed on top. My lips sought hers, our tongues danced in such exquisite motion. Too much clothes, way too much clothes. I was about to unbutton my shirt when she stopped me and ripped it forcefully. Who said patient was a virtue? We took off the rest of our clothes rather quick. Despite that hunger look shone on her face, she was calm. She trusted me that much, this girl, this amazing girl. She knew very well I had no experience to speak of "Hope I don't disappoint you Em" I stroke her cheek. Her lips curled into a smile, she took my hand again, kissed all those digits, then interlaced our littlest fingers "We made a promise. And, I don't think you need to do a lot" She pushed my hand down towards her heated entrance, I watched in awe as Em's whole body surged when I touched her sensitive area.

"Shit" I trembled. She was so wet. 'Don't need to do a lot'? Fucking hell, the way her cunt dripping all over my hand made me want to do every unspeakable things. I pressed our naked bodies together, our moans filled the air as electricity hummed right through us. Her skin drove me wild, her scent drove me wild, like an animal. I attacked her neck, biting, nibbling, marking "You are mine" I purred "All mine"

"Oh Naomi, there's no one else" she managed to say. "Naomi, my Naomi" Her words burned me, like a flame, I let it consume, let it swirled and coil. This fire melted every doubts and uncertainty, as if it was a rebirth. I felt my wetness smearing her thigh, I felt Emily squirmed and pushed for more contact. "Shhhh" I cooed "Let me" My kisses were trailed down to her perfect breasts, she ached her back, whimpering as I licked a pinched her hard nipples. Couldn't resist this marvellous creature, just couldn't. She responded eagerly with each touch, her whole body jerked as my hand caressed her inner thighs. So soft, so smooth "Please, I need you" She begged

She was trembling. Fuck. I was trembling. She spread her legs wider, and I swore that no jewel in the world could rival such sight "You're gorgeous" My voice sounded odd somehow. She blushed a little, which turned me on even more. "I Love you" I locked eyes with hers as my hand started teasing her entrance. A loud groan escaped her lips, urging me. She was so wet, I carefully dipped a finger inside, opened her up as slow as I could. Her inner walls clenched and wrapped around my digit, I pushed harder. "Naomi" She moaned, pleasure written on her face. She was so tight, I kept pushing until my palm rubbed against her clit, making her eyes screw shut. Sweat glistered on her skin like diamonds. Incoherent noises filled my ears as I continued rubbing, moving in and out slowly from her warmth. Whenever Emily managed to open her eyes to look at me, I saw nothing but love. She was the brave one, always gave her all, always offered her all.

I increased the pace just a little as her breathing got more erratic. I wanted this to last, I wanted my baby to know she deserved the best kind of tenderness that human had experienced. I felt her arms and hands squeezed my back tighter with each thrust. Her eyes remained close, until something fell on her face.

Tears

I was crying

Once the first drop of salty liquid met her cheek and rolled its way down, her eyes flew open. By then dozen of droplets had followed suit. Couldn't help it, the way her wet folds wrapped around me with such desire, the way her body surged, the way she called my name. "I Love you" the declaration came out again. And I watched in amazement as her body went stiff, then jerked and shook splendidly with the intense climax. Her scream sounded almost like music. "You're beautiful. You're so beautiful" I whispered sweet words to her. I love this woman so fucking much, my heart could be expanded to where the stars didn't even shine.

...

...

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**Disclaimer**: Lord Ishley is not real… yada yada, The Death duties is real, pretty nasty tax to be honest. Hope to get some reviews when i come down on earth. You can tell me that i sucks, honestly


	12. Wise man tale of Hypatia

In a country which's too hot for my liking. Stuff to do so I'm late with update, hope you're not bored with me, I'm already bored with myself.

Pinkmonkey: yes, I'm aware of the Harlington village. Naomi's estate is somewhere in Peak District actually, coz it's the national park. And the only royalty there is the Cavendish household. I named her title after a charity I used to work for

Boo: Sorry that you're pissed with the plot, may be that's why my cheerleader's no where to be seen. I can only say that later, there'll be no Cook, no Effy, no Panda, just our girls. Well, if I could get there of course. Don't fret, even if I drop this story I'll make sure there's closure, not gonna leave you hanging

**Disclaimer:** Own things that I don't wanna own, which means I don't own Skins. Sue someone else

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For some reason, the world seemed to make more sense today; everything was brighter, clearer amidst the mad craziness. Before Naomi, life was one humongous melting pot of confusion, but now a solid base had began to form. I felt it tugging at my heart, begging to be nurtured and shaped. She loved me, she really did love me, that was all I needed as guidance to get through this insane life.

Several hours had past after we made love, but I could still feel her lips, her touch; she made such mess out of herself in the middle of it, tears and all. Sensitive child, this little lady. My body was exhausted by the intense orgasm, but seeing her with tears breathed new strength into every cell. I flipped her over and kissed her wet face "Don't cry, don't cry. It's ok". She wept harder. I continued touching her, kissing her, and soon enough those dreadful sobs began to die down. She started moaning my name, urging me on. She was so gentle with me. So kind. I wanted to repay that kindness in full.

I traced her cheeks and lips my fingers, my brown orbs looked straight into her blue ones, they glowed, they always glowed like ocean under star light. "Love you too, Naomi". The air seemed to crackled and swirled as our connection burnt right through us. She opened her mouth to say something, but no words came for she was too overwhelmed. I placed my index on top of her lips "Shhh, it's ok, don't force yourself. I know Naoms, I know" This girl had so much love, what made her hid it away-I had no clue.

Naomi smiled, I felt her lips stretched beneath my finger, then felt her tongue sneaked out and licked it seductively "Oh sweet Jesus" my breath caught short in my throat as she continued sucking, wrapping her hot, wet tongue around it. She did things to me, unbelievable things. I removed my finger and attacked her lips with such aggressive softness-if that could be a term. It could be a new term, everything was new when it came to Naomi. It was intense yet gentle, urgent yet slow. "I love your mind" A kiss was placed on her forehead "brilliant, full of ideas, full of knowledge", "I love your eyes" another kiss on said areas "glorious, glowing, you see things no one else notices, you see me for who I am". Our lips touched, my tongue teased hers until she whimpered and moaned, "Love your voice, so warm when you say my name, so sarcastic when you think someone is an idiot" She giggled, then froze when I trailed down to her left breast "I love your heart, sensitive, fragile, yet full of affection and strength. A jewel, a true jewel" My hands started to caress her breasts, those luscious nipples perked up with each touch, tempted the eyes as if they were delicacies from the devil. _Or god, don't give a shit, no redemption is worth more than love_. I took each of them into my mouth respectively. She arched her back, begged me to suck harder. Incoherent noises filled my ears like music. Her whole body jerked these little shockwaves as I made my journey down south, mapping her lower frame with million kisses. So soft, everything was so soft, so devourable. I kept nibbling until her dark curls greeted my lips.

It would be absurd to say I knew what I was doing. Hadn't a clue. But her scent was like an invisible thread, which pulled and pulled until my mouth was levelled with her lovely cunt. It smelled primal, smelled pure

Smelled like Naomi

That was enough, more than enough. I kissed open her wet folds, and felt her grabbing a fistful of my hair. She didn't taste sweet or any shit like that. It was just sex, it was just Naomi's, Naomi's taste. My tongue found her clit, nested inside like a pearl in the oyster. She grasped as I gave it a flick, emotion rushed through when Naomi moaned my name alongside God's. It was elated, the way she pressed against my mouth, wetness dripping all over; the way she shook with earthy delight. I stoked and teased the bundle of nerves with my tongue until it swelled redder, harder

But this wasn't how I wished it to end. I wanted to look into her eyes like she had done before, wanted to see her face when she came. Naomi gave a tiny noise of protest as my mouth was removed from her sensitive area. "I need to see you" My oculus quickly searched for the ocean blue pair while my body stretched on top. Only to find that they were no longer blue, those pupils had dilated and broaden its darkness like an eclipse, which aroused me even more. I could spend a whole day worshiping this woman. Steady fingers trailed down to her dripping cunt, the first contact hit me like an earthquake.

She was so wet, so smooth, she resembled fair silk that was dampen with rain. I carefully push one small digit inside, my heart throbbed when her muscles clenched and gripped. I wanted to push more, oh how I wished to feel everything. But this wasn't about me, I didn't want to hurt her

I withdrew my digit, then pushed back in again, slowly, just a little deeper each time. She twitched and jerked; her inner walls pulled and slipped on my finger like second skin. Naomi groaned in frustration as I refused to pick up the pace "Em… need all of you… inside… please" She reached down between us, grabbed my hand, and began to force it to go deeper

"No no Naoms. You'll hurt yourself, I don't want that" Women in general were complicated; we felt things differently was all. My twin said there hadn't been much pain during her first, though the guy was a bit rough; but it didn't mean everyone else was built to be that fortunate. Naomi was so gentle, so caring, I wanted to do the same "You deserve more, can't rush this" _Can't risk this_

"I don't deserve you Em" _Ridiculous_. I was about to protest when she spoke "Look at me"

Her eyes, something in them, something… powerful, trusting, loving. She gripped my hand, then pushed; I held her gaze, strange feelings washed over me as I saw all sort of emotion washed over her face. She was so fucking tight, yet she didn't stop the momentum. Her cunt contracted and clenched around my finger, I felt, I felt… Would have screamed out loud if I had known how to express this. There was nothing to compare. It was so warm, so soft, she enveloped me, wrapped me. I was inside her, completely inside her. But the consequences…

It must be painful

A single tear rolled down, confirmed… "You think too much" Naomi grabbed my head and kissed me, full of passion. _Oh_. "I love you Em" She kept saying that, she always cried when she said it lately. Sensitive child. I kissed those tears away, relief that she wasn't in pain. My finger started moving, "You are gorgeous Naoms", she truly was. The way she gasped and moaned with each thrust, the way her eyes struggled to keep contact. These eager responses turned my body into liquid. Naomi was the mould while I was water, her wants and needs shaped me, contained me. Soon enough we both moved in rhythm, our breaths mingled together, our hearts beat loud. I tried to add another finger, slowly, just slowly, she welcomed it with a purr. I picked up the pace as she lifted her hips, begging for more. It was the sexiest thing, the most beautiful thing. It wasn't long before her legs started to twitch, she was close, I could tell. I remembered this fierce heat initiated from my lower region, remembered how it made me loose command of my limbs.

I steady myself and let my body went with the flow. As my fingers moved in and out of her delicious wetness, her arms clutched me tight in their embrace. She was one splendid work of art. She kept looking at me with so much love, until her orbs was squeezed shut as the intense climax swept over like raging storm. I continued my movement, albeit lighter, to prolong her pleasure as much as I could. Only stop when said storm began to calm down, and her eyes opened to gaze back at me. The world did make more sense today, it sure did. Of course, we were far from happily ever after; but if there was love, there was hope

"I love you Em" She said between breaths

I had hope

That was ages ago, we both fell asleep as our bodies gave in to exhaustion. I woke up first, and right now was enjoying the view of my sleeping beauty. Well, enjoyed and contemplated. There were two roads to take, either let it play out, honoured Naomi's wish to not meddle in her affair and hoped for the best; or… meddled, against her will, just to keep her with me. '_Is it selfish? I am not that kind of person, and I am a horrible liar'_. But the idea of my girl leaving Bristol, going back to

To what?

'What do you know? You think the great house runs itself?' Her words came back, Cook came back, Pandora, Effy…. I was so confused. It made no sense whatsoever. What could I do if I didn't even glean where she came from? The inheritance thing, the bloodline thing, they were all rubbish if you asked. '_What is the big deal? You don't want it, just walk away'_

Apparently it wasn't so simple. I needed some help. Whatever she said, I couldn't let her leave like that. Bristol without my girl… This was one torturous thought. "Hey" I bended down and kissed Naomi gently "Wake up" She made these cute little noises as I tickled her stomach "I gotta go. Call you later tonight yeah?"

"What?" Her eyes blinked open "What time is it?"

"Nearly three, I.. ermmm.." _Shit, think of an excuse, quick brain_ "Did fake being ill this morning, Have to come back before Katie thought I was kidnapped. Wouldn't want her to smack ya again would I?"

She chuckled "Yeah well, if that means I get to keep you for a few more hours" Thank God, she was too sleepy to see through my lie "But I'm in no condition to combat the Fitches. Fierce creatures those are" She looked at me "Love you Em"

"Yeah, love you too" We smiled like idiots; I gave her a quick kissed then slipped out of the blanket to gather my clothes. Her eyes were on me the whole time. Weird. After we had done all those stuff, I still felt consciously timid when she stared at my naked form. "Stop looking" I grumbled, "It's embarrassing"

"Oi. Can't help it" She exclaimed, "You're quite irresistible. Besides, there's nothing I haven't seen before"

Man, her brain sometimes worked like a dude "This and that ain't similar" I groaned while putting on various items in breakneck speed. She just sighed and said, "I'm not the one who is leaving here. Won't see you until tomorrow, will I? Can't a girl have her keepsake, even if it's in the head?"

'_Actually, you ARE the one who is leaving'_

I came back to our bed, grabbed her hand and placed it on my heart "You already keep this. It's yours, no matter where you go. Ain't it enough?" She looked down, must be guilt for no reply was voiced. I lifted her chin up and force her to look at me "You make an awful lots of decision on your own, you drive people away. But you can't fool me Campbell. Don't ever ever think for a second that I'll drop you just because you decide to go back to God-knows-where, doing God-knows-what. As long as you're mine, then I am yours"

"I will always be yours" She trembled with the declaration. I knew that feeling

"Yeah, me too" _No way I'm giving you up, no way I'll let you leave me._ My lips found hers again, until we gasped for air and reluctantly broke apart. She began to dress and then we walked down together, my eyes scanned the room for Gina. Should at least be polite and exchanged some words if she was here, but she wasn't, so I simply followed my girl to the front door. "Is it tough? lying to your family?" She started to fret, "Must be uncomfortable, all for my sake"

_I lie to you now_ "It's necessary, sometimes, to keep who you love, what's the point of staying an angel when I can't have you?"

"You are an angel, and you'll always have me" She smiled. _Hope that's true_. "So…" she opened the door "Guess I'll see ya tomorrow then"

I gave her a quick kiss "Will call tonight, don't fuss" _You are too cute when you fuss_. I walked out and waved before taking a turn at the corner. But instead of going home, I headed for the bus stop. I grabbed the mobile from my bag, scrolled through my name list, and dialled one familiar number

_Here it goes_

"Hello?" Came a sweet voice from the other side

"Jason. Hey" He knew Naomi's past, and I could use some educational perspective right now. There was Cook, or Panda to pick from, but my brain told me to trust the old geezer, who wasn't fucked in the head and could speak English properly. "Can I see you at Castle House? It's a bit sudden but I need your help"

"What sort of crime did you and my little one commit?" He joked, "Need bail money from an old man?" _wish that was the case_; would be much easier if my girl was an ex-criminal on witness protection program. Rather bail her out of jail than of a castle. _How do you do that anyway?_

"No, it's just me. She's not coming, I…" Oh for the love of Jesus! What if he refused? This was a violation of trust, the old man was dead loyal to my blonde. How sh….

"She told you ay?" Thanks heaven, he figured it out

"I… sort of discovered her real name by mistake, but yeah, she knows that I know. Can we meet?"

He sighed "Of course, give me a ring when you're at the entrance"

_Phewww_. I was glad he could help. After all, he knew Naomi's grandma, and dated her mom. I bet the Ascending Palace was full of ancient stuff, like this museum he ran. Odd, Gina didn't strike me as someone who would marry into Dukedom, which-according to my girl- wasn't much fun to begin with. I called Katie next and said I was at the doctor, yada yada yada, so she wouldn't fuss. Ever since that loo debacle with Naoms years ago, Katie developed a protective streak, it amused me at times. I waited for my bus to arrive, went to Bristol city centre, then changed to another one. Heck, it was far, but it nested in such weird 'if you blink you will miss' spot that my eyes have to be on watch the whole journey. Wasn't used to come here alone, without her. It tickled my nerves in such strange fashion. Blaise Castle House was OUR place, especially its toy room. She was a little princess among those ancient playthings, she laughed, she smiled, she shone with happiness. Just pictured Naomi, eight years old, long flowing brown hair, bright blue eyes, red poncho that fluttered as she moved. Placed her in a palace and she would look completely at home.

In thirty minutes or so our museum came into view, I called the old man and walked to the staff door with nervous footsteps. He was already there, greeted me with such warm, sympathetic smile. "How do you do?" He asked

"Naomi plans to go back home and leave me" I blurted out

He was taken aback by the news "Oh… Goodness gracious. Wha… Foolish child. Oh Gina" He scratched his grey pepper hair, zoned out for a good few minutes, "Bad, oh no, bad…" I kept staring until Jason's mind came down to earth "Sorry, come, we'll talk"

I followed him and we walked up the massive stony staircase to his office on the first floor. It was an organised mess like usual. He grabbed a random chair and placed it next to his near the desk "Sit down, Tea?" Jason put the kettle on before I could even answer, no point to refuse then. Besides, tea would be good; this building was cursed with constant cold. Too much stone in its structure. Now I knew why Naomi could walk around here with grace, she's used to the chilliness

"Thanks" I sat down, "Sorry, you must have tons of works, but there's no one else. It's so confusing"

"That somebody could go to such length?" He tipped hot liquid from the kettle to the pot

_Ehh? What's he on about?_ "That she couldn't say no, I mean, She doesn't want to inherit the palace, it's not a crime"

"Emily" Jason put the tray on the table and handed me my cup before sitting down "How much do you think this museum and its artefacts worth?" I flinched, Should I pretend to be wise and made up a number? Nah "I don't know, don't think a price tag is appropriate"

"No it isn't" He signed "And whatever we have here, the Ascending palace has more, a lot more"

"That is one shit excuse" I gasped in horror "No amount of money can worth a person's life, or happiness"

"Ahh. But you have just admitted that price tag is inappropriate" He sipped his tea "This isn't about money. It's never about money. Are you aware of the ancient Greek scholar named Hypatia?"

_Huh?_ My brain went blank for a good while. I was stunned. Talked about changing subject! _Is he mental_? Jason spotted the confused look on my face, and continued, "She lived around the fourth century after Christ, in Roman Egypt. Brilliant girl, excelled in math and science. She followed her father's footstep and ran the Platonist school as well as the great library in Alexandria. But time was against her. Christianity was spreading; in their eyes nothing was worse than the Pagan Gods and theirs worshippers. Hypatia's land was in turmoil. The slaves, you see, were drawn to Christian Faith because it promised freedom"

"I'm not a fan of Jesus but, if she condoned slavery…" _What's the point of this talk?_

"No, although Hypatia was a Pagan, she was respectful to all beliefs. Her pupils were a mix of race and faith, none of them thought it was wise to lash out and killed each other in the name of gods. She was interested in knowledge and diplomatic solutions, which was unpopular because both sides were convinced that their opponents must be evil.-Not much has progressed since ay Emily?- Poor Hypatia, who watched her hometown torn apart by religious war. –People might tell you otherwise; as there're various readings-I myself believed that those Christian mobs burnt down the great library of Alexandria. She and her students risked everything to rescue some of the scrolls, which is why the works of Aristotle are still exist for you lots to moan about at school, why the science world can be what it is today, because great works were rescued and kept at great risk"

"So" I grabbed my tea cup, "You mean History is worth risking your life to preserved, and Ascending palace is history?" _It still doesn't seem fair_

"That's part of the reasons, but not all" He shook his head "Do you know, there are people who theorise that Sappho is Heterosexual?"

"WHAT?" I was even more stunned now than before "She's gay, like… really gay" This was the only reason my stupid brain could come up with, Sappho gave birth to the word 'lesbian', and they said she was hetero? What the fuck? Jason just laughed at my puzzled anger "Look at you, fierce one, now you're pissed. Well, the problem, you see, is that a good chunk of Sappho works didn't survive. Those religious bigots burnt her scrolls to extinction. Yes, I knew she was homosexual, but there're not much for me to argue. We're fortunate that at least, she wasn't wiped out of history. What Hypatia saved could not compensate for what was lost, in Alexandria, in Athens… Remember Emily, without proofs, facts can be twisted. You might sit here, and think that what occurred years ago has nothing to do with you now, and the preservation of Naomi's bloodline has no merit, but it's not true. Hypatia studied Plato and Aristotle, to her, their works were important and worth saving. I must admit that I would chose to save their works instead of Saphho's myself" I grimaced, well, couldn't blame him. Jason smiled "If Hypatia had made a different choice, if the ancient people had made a different choice and preserved Sappho instead, Could you imagine?"

I could only guess. "So, you mean, if Naomi refused her inheritance, history will be lost?"

"Proofs of history Emily, proofs-which might sound frivolous to some. What the Harlington possesses isn't wealth, isn't money, but truths of the past. Without it, there's no future, or one that counts"

Ok, I was no genius, and I guessed that if Sappho's stuff had been preserved, we would have had more gay rights. But we were living in the modern age, for Pete's sake "Don't you have the heritage trust? I mean, surely the royal household won't just sit there, Naomi also has distant cousins and…" My mind trailed to Cook, He's her relative, she must have other relatives across England. Couldn't someone take over?

"Ahh, heritage trust ay?" Jason's eyes twinkled with mischief "What about the inheritance tax?"

Oh no, not again "What's about this tax that have you and Naomi all fire up in the pants?" I groaned

"What's about you?" He asked

"Me?" I looked at him "What does that has to do with me?"

"Everything" He said "I know you're in college, but you would like a job in the future yes?"

_Ehhh._ "Yes… and?"

"You will work hard"

_This is ridiculous_ "Your point?"

"So do you think it's fair that Naomi might just grow up and have this magnificent estate hand to her? Because of her blood, because she was born a Harlington, she doesn't need to find a job, doesn't worry about school fees or electric bills, she gets to walk among the finest artefacts. Is it fair?"

I started to fret, it's not jealousy or anything, and I loved my girl with all my heart. However, I couldn't just ignore what my brain screamed out "No, it's not fair"

Jason nodded, "That's why we have the tax Emily, to make sure that inheriting such wealth is no where near fun. After world war two ordinary people disliked the whole idea of aristocracy and its system, thus old noble households and rich kids were taxed half to death. If Naomi ever inherited the estate, she would have a huge price on her shoulders"

"What would happen?"

"Oh Emily, a lot. Billionaires have running businesses, so their children can pay off the tax real quick. But the old lords rely mostly on their woodlands and farms, which are not profitable in modern age. In the beginnings that tax had cost England its treasures. No one likes to be in debt you see. Dukes, Earls and the lots sold what they could grab to keep their houses. It was deplorable, not because our country's rarest were put on auction block and then scattered around the world, oh no. There were society or cult that would pay massive sums to bury the past, then twisted it according to their likings. Soon, the government realised how harmful it was. But stop taxing the nobles would not be fair, thus this heritage trust was born, to preserve and help, not to make things easier. Think of the trust as Hypatia, in case of fire, it will save what it deems important, the rest will be burnt, just burnt"

"By 'in case of fire', you mean?" This talk was getting more and more depressing by minute

"I mean, if the estate is left without an heir. You look at those members from the House of Lords, and you think their profession is politics. No, they understand that they exist to preserve history. Keeping and running the estate come first, above happiness, above their own lives. Before, anyone with blood relation could be handed the job. But now, in this modern age, with the tax, it's not realistic to run the house if you don't live there, or at least raised to understand such responsibility. Can't waltz in and expect servants to do things for you no more" _There goes my hope_. I groan inwards. If it was that difficult to keep the castle intact, Cook would never be a suited candidate.

Wait a minute

I remembered, that night, after we ran away from Uncle Keith's pup. She wept on top of me, droplets of tears fell of my face as she said _There's a chance, that your life won't be yours anymore_. She was thinking of saying yes to her inheritance, she knew it would mean her own happiness shall be buried in the graveyard. If I stayed with her, she couldn't protect me, the survival of her estate came first, her girlfriend would be placed second; and I would have to follow all the rules, that's no life… _Can we even be a couple for shrieking out loud?_

"What's wrong?" Jason asked, he must see the panic on my face

"I think… I think Naomi might say yes" Tears began to form. It was too painful to even think about

"There there" He patted my hands "Don't fret, before she might think about it. No matter what, she loves her grandparents; she loves that silly soaring castle. But now, she has you, she won't say yes in million years"

"But, she wants to leave, and…"

"I know" Jason sighed "Her mom and I was hoping that she remained in Bristol forever. Not much freedom, for she has to be careful all the time, well, until that nutcase is caught at least" _What nutcase?_ "She must love you a lot-don't get me wrong, this isn't a blame. I guess she's just tired of waiting and hiding when she sees a future worth dying for"

"What nutcase?" I asked

Jason looked at me, dumbfounded "The one who killed Sho"

"What?" I yelled. Who's Sho? Killed? Hang on

"I thought she told you why she changed her last name" He pulled a face "It's dangerous for her to come back. I mean, she might be…"

"Murder?" I finished his sentence "what the fuck! Wait! What?" I panicked. '_In my case it might mean death'_ Her words came back like a blow in the stomach. "Who?" Shit! After she said she loved me I was too overwhelmed, we made love, we… I didn't let her explain things further, and then…

"Calm down, Emily… Emily" Jason gripped my arms and shook me back to earth "Calm down, come on" I looked at him, tears fell like tropical rain "What do you mean? Death? I don't want her to die"

"Oh Emily, she was never meant to be heir. Her father was the third son, she was never meant to be heir. Such adorable girl, everyone's favourite little doll, raised to be cuddled and spoiled. She was a happy child, full of promise, full of intelligence. My little treasure, yes, a treasure Emily" He was full of tears now "We were so proud of her, she's free, like the wind. She wasn't supposed to be bound by rules, wasn't suppose to be a duty. She was loved" He hugged me and smoothed my hair with his hands "Look, you can't hear this from an old man. Talk to her ok? She must be the one to tell you"

"Yes" I sniffed "Thanks. I mean, I apologise" _I'm a twat_, should have listened to her whole story in the first place. "This is mental"

"It's messed up" He agreed "I do think that Princess Diana's death was an accident, but if it had been because of evil doer, It wouldn't have surprised me one bit. You'll find out soon enough Em, these folks dislike change, they're sceptical sort. Poor little treasure wasn't allow to watch telly until she turned five" We giggled. The image of our girl squinted at heaps of books when she's less than three feet tall was just too cute

"Umm, Jason? What had become of Hypatia?" I needed to know, she gave her all to preserve knowledge for the next generation, that must worth something

"Well" He said tenderly "It's not unicorn and rainbow, during war time you ought to pick a side, which she found ridiculous. As an educated female, she stood out, you see? And people blamed her when things go wrong. So one day, her chariot was attack on its way home. The Christian monks stripped her naked, dragged her across town to this new church, then they used seashells to scrape her skins off, tore her body to pieces, and lit her on fire"

"It's not fair" I murmured. "After all she had done"

"We look back, and we can see how innocent she was, but at the time, rage blinded people" He shook his head "The question is, Emily, would it make you stop doing what's right?" Would it stop me? Would the danger stop me? I didn't know much about preserving knowledge or what to do when you ran a bloody castle, but I knew my own heart. If the house was on fire I would rush in and save her, to hell with consequences. They could burn me alive if they wished

"No" I said firmly "I won't stop"

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**Disclaimer:** There're many different versions about the destruction of the great library of Alexandria, and of course many tales about poor Hypatia's life, though the way she was killed was pretty much it… Yada yada, lack of proofs made it hard to say for sure, but you believe what you want to believe, I'm not forcing anything on anyone.


	13. Voice of the past Pt1:Third son's girl

Would some of you marry me so I'd have an excuse to move back to England? I have enough with works, parties and food.

To Boo: I didn't think that you would find the idea bizarre. I guess my whole family can't get over the lost of my grandma's estate so it kinda present in our mind set. When I saw Pandora's Aunt lovely mansion in Thomo ep the idea kinda clicked. But enough excuse from me

Bit of Pandora's past is from Skins' characters diaries. But I don't think you need to see it to understand the chapter

**Disclaimer:** If I owned Skins, it'd be too boring since all they would do was hanging around museums

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People said that the Duchess of Harlington had gone soft on her fifth grandchild

How couldn't she? The girl was picture perfect, and-though she would never say it out loud-this grandchild was lovable even more, because she would never possess the family's fortune. Dear lord, that ill-fated Marie Antoinette, late queen of France, had proclaimed on the birth of her daughter "Poor little thing, you are not what they wanted, but we will love you nonetheless. A son would have belonged to the state; but you shall be mine, and have all my care". Children born for duty did not belong to their mothers, but this girl, she shall belong to the Duchess, she was a doll, made to be spoiled.

That girl, of course, was me

My dad was the third out of four, and that meant he was one step away from commoners. First son was heir, second son was insurance, third? Third was nothing. Though, in his early years, he was the favourite. The brightest and smartest of all, he could recite poems in Greeks and Latin, he spoke French and Spanish and lord knew what else. The charming boy shall get the world if he asked, for his parents were so proud. What he most adored was the estate, which surged up brilliantly as if there was magic, his castle in the sky.

But it wasn't his

It would never be his

It belonged to the eldest boy, Richard-the future Duke, who was awkward and timid. He was the gentlest child, but he was dull. You see, inheritance could not be split, not in my world. To make sure that our family fortune stayed intact century after century, only one could have the slot. Boys came first, if there was no boys then girls would be next. The rest would have to either marry or find ways to make a living. In the old times that wasn't so bad, but in this day and age it was a tragedy, well, to my father at least. When he could reason, he found no sense in it all. Look at him! The brightest child, the most able child, yet he got nothing. Rules were rules, even if he made a name out of himself, be real famous, work real hard, the palace would never belong to him, because he was born third. He was less than a spare, and in this peaceful area, there was no chance of having those older kids killed in wars. Military was a whole new kind of ballgame now. Thus, he turned bitter, bitter at his parents, bitter at his siblings. After university he buggered off to travel the globe, and met my mom through Jason. Like Grandma, dad had a knack for dealing antique, which was where his travel budget came about

She was a breath of fresh air to him. Spontaneous, strong, funny, and a little clueless when it came to status or class. They looked for a wild life, full of adventure. She didn't give a shit about his blood, and he didn't give a shit about hers, he was done anyway. He didn't have to marry a good, proper gal and breed spawns. After all, it was Britain's royal family who took the biggest blow. Even if you were the eighth granddaughter of Queen Elizabeth or something, you couldn't just behave as you wished and supposed the country to leave you alone. But the rest, the Dukes, Barons, and whatever else, could hopped under radar as long as they caused no crime, for none would bat an eyelid if my dad threw mommy dearest on the dining table and had his wicked way with her. They could have led such passionate life, until the pregnancy stick turned positive

Mom was sure she had been on pills, so how the fuck did that come about, I had no clue, called it fate. They weren't prepared, they couldn't abort, my mother's relatives were either dead or assholes; sweet Jesus, the love for this tiny creature inside her womb was growing strong. With those thoughts, they packed their bags and went to my paternal grandparents, who-to be fair-didn't exactly welcome my folks with open arms. Not because of mom's background, there was just certain order of things. Marriage first, then kids. And even though girls rarely held the title, they did receive a small fortune when they wed-tradition thing. Thus Grandma thought dad would have had a more secure future if he coupled up with such wife

Predictably, my people weren't very good at showing what they felt, so they just treated mom with silent resentment. The marriage was quick, the move-in was quick, and-soon enough-the love for mom came quick. She was natural, all sunshine and smile. Sure, she lacked some elegant traits, but she was so down to earth, charmed everyone at charity events, eager to help. They never completely took her in, but they loved her to the point of comfort, that was progress-believed me.

Then, I was born

This would be the only time I found my tosser of a dad reasonable, for he argued that mom should take eighty percent credit of how delightful I turned out to be.

Because inbreeding was as gross as having your private parts cut off. Grandma fell pregnant seven times, yet we ended up with four survivals. Mix match with close relatives led to an absurd amount of birth defects. Em asked if Panda and I shared blood, I said no. However, who knew for sure? We were all related in a way. It was after the Great Wars that we started to spread out, and had more colourful children, though there're folks who still preferred old school marriage-lord knew why. My dad was a rare case-wasn't because he's smart; he just had this liveliness and normality, whereas my uncles were a bit odd, like something held them back. Me? Thanks heaven for mom's gene, I was a true joy, wasn't hindered by deleterious traits

I was the most loved among those grandchildren, I got father's brain, but none of his bitter desire, got mom's good nature, and Grandma's spirit-which meant sometimes I was stubborn as fuck. Such happy girl, energetic and free, my feet used to run across the fields, my hands used to embrace the wind. They sure thought it was weird how I preferred martial art lessons instead of the piano, but they didn't complain. Their restless grandchild was a great scholar when she didn't waste time teasing rabbits in the woods or learning new defence moves. I entertained them with ancient poems and tales, I had eyes for art, and was a bookworm. The only subject I found difficult was language, but not for long

Because of a girl I met when I was six, at school, though we didn't talk right away. She was often by herself, had no friends, sort of an outcast. Initially I didn't give a fuck-busy minding my own business you know?- Until the neglect they threw at her became too obvious to ignore. Ok, her hair looked like they hadn't been brushed in years, and those pigtails were funky; still, it didn't seem reasonable. Although in my place you couldn't go around punching your friends, you just gave them evil stares and buggered off; nonetheless, sometimes silent treatment was as bad as physical abuse. Time went by, soon curiosity grew like an itch that begged to be scratched, so one day during archaic language class, it came out of my chest

"Is she a stray?" I nodded towards her direction; my friends- Jule and Alex- glanced over

"No" Julia gave me this warning look. Jule had a nice enough feature, with freckles and ash blonde hair-a family thing, which made her appear quite precious, though a bit fragile, "her mom's disowned"

"What for?" _that's unusual_ "Which branch she's from?"

"The Rosedale" Jule shook her head "But she doesn't bare the last name, poor bastard, got no father to speak of"

I grumbled, '_injustice_, _sins of the mother ain't neurological chorea that passes down to the child'_, she didn't deserve to be pushed away like some disease. You should only ditch people who had bad smell or talked during theatrical shows. This girl had no father, how was it her fault? I grabbed my bags and stood up

"Where are you going?" Jule gasped

"This is group exercise, and she's alone" I took my papers on the big desk that we shared "It's against the rules"

"She might has bad blood" Alex grabbed my hand "Bad blood carries, bad blood comes out", he looked frighten. Shame, I used to think he was so cute, deep brown eyes, chestnut hair-a mini male Emily I supposed-; his branch had Italian traits, and as a result he was dashing. But after the comment, I begged to differ

"Ta" I grinned and shooed him away, then walked towards the girl's table "Hello" I greeted "Can I pair with you?". She gawked at me, blinked a few times, and gawked again. _Is she mute?_ I tried to ask once more "Can I pair with you?"

"Whizzer" She exclaimed. I'll take that as a yes. I sat down and began to flip through our exercise sheets "I'm Naomi Harlington", swore to god, she was such a chatty girl now, but when we first met, she spoke very little. Though, she had always been endearing. I remembered her then, pink ribbons, blonde pigtails, light blue eyes, rosy cheeks. All these talks about bad blood, had no truth, this little girl was the poster model for the Rosedale traits: that inner wild persona, that carelessness, the way her blue orbs couldn't move once they found something they fancied- I meant, You had never been stared at until a Rosedale stared at you, it's not piercing like the famous Stonem stare, it was just… weird. Pandora didn't know who was her father, she only knew he was swell,-a Harvard graduated historian. He left before her mom could inform him about the baby, so Panda wished to find him one day; even though he was the reason her mother got disowned, and she herself was marked illegitimate

"Naomi" She said, a little lost in the head "Which root?"

_Ehhh _"Pardon?"

"Your name, which root?"

"I don't know" It was a strange talk, looking back now "English I guess" I vaguely recalled how Grandma had chosen my name because it was either that or Anne, as Grandpa would not allow anything else; thank the lord for her pick

"English ay? Hebrew then. Pleasant delight. You're pleasant delight" she laughed. Ok, she was strange, but she's oddly hypnotising. I giggled "Oh, so that's what Naomi means" _Hang on_ "There're other roots?". She nodded, eyes twinkled with joy-poor child, none had ever exchanged more than one sentence with her before-"Yes, Japan. It means beautiful honesty"

"So, what's your name?" I asked

"Pandora Moon" She said, "I'm a box, I'm useless"

What to reply? If she said it to me now, I would scowl her for being nonsense, for she was all that's precious and good; or pulled something poetic "Pandora box does not only contain evils, but also hope". Yet at the time my voice just left me, we were children, two foolish children. I turned to our exercise to fend off the awkwardness, squinting at weird letter shapes that graced those white sheets. Latin, fucking hell. Thing was, kids could learn multiple languages when they were small, even the ones with half a brain; thus our folks geared us towards intensive tutelage rather young. Antediluvian Greek and Latin were the base of occidental philology-as quite a few of our distinguished households' old private texts and the Kingdom's original historic archives were scripted in such code-we shall learn and get rid of these two when we were able. Once we grew up, more would be added if there were still space in our heads; in the old time, French or Italian or German would be ideal, but now Eastern languages were encouraged. I heard grandpa and mum argued about whether I should learn French or Chinese, and my heart sank. Of all the stuff I was good at, this wasn't it. I eyed the papers in my hand, feeling like an imbecile. We were given matching exercise; there were cute pictures at the top, and a mess of snail-trails words that they called Latin at the bottom.

Matching the right words to the right picture could be easy if you knew what the words meant. I whined, "This is no fun"

"Sorry" Panda looked down at the table "I'm useless, you should go back to your friends" _Heh? What does… ahhh_ "It's not you dummy, it's this" I flapped the paper in front of her face "I'm a stupe! Latin wears me out"

"What's stupe?" She asked, all innocent. I stared at her, confused. '_Is she off in the head?'_

"Erm… stupid" I said slowly, just in case "So far I can only match Templum to temple". Her eyes beamed once she heard it, "Oh no, I'm sure you're not a stupe. The teacher is whizzer stupe though" _Huh?_ "Here" she pointed at the image, "The shape of this building, it's wonky. It's not a temple. It's a shrine. It's delubrum, not templum. Me spent a good one minute to find delubrum, and there's zilch. Me brain bleeds. Teacher's stupe". I stared at her again

"… you done with the exercise?" '_Sweet Lord'_

"Yes" She answered as if it was the easiest thing. _'But we're suppose to do group work'_ My brain seemed to say. Then it clicked, the poor soul had no friend, she used to do all this by herself. I grabbed her paper, which was neat and filled up with writing. By God, we had one serious talent here. "Mum said I should learn hair and nail in college, but I want to learn history, proper like, in the State"

'_There's no way you should learn hair and nail'_

We became friends after that. She was certainly original, and her quirky habits made it hard for us to become real close, but we doubled up quite well. I lose some mates because bastard kids were frown upon- didn't care –people in general annoyed me. Not to mention my language skill perked up when she was around, that girl was a hell of a teacher, being so queer in the head made her somewhat entertaining. I invited Panda to my eighth birthday, and she brought along a twister mat, amused everyone.

It was such a special birthday

It was when Sho came into my life

He came, of course, as a puppy, an Artois Hound. At the times I was too young to hunt, nonetheless, I relished my adventure in the woods, and always squealed like a gleeful maniac when Grandpa's canine dragged home a doe or rabbit; thus Grandma thought it would be ideal if I started raising my own hound early. He was my favourite gift. I named him Shotaro, which meant 'soaring first son', and pretty soon we were a joined pair. He was energetic and brave, though sometimes squirrel could start him off like a mad furball. Sho, beautiful little Sho, one of the best memories of my childhood involved walking back home with him, from our petit forest. The twilight sky would cast this golden, red hue across the land; we could see the palace from afar, swallowed by cluster of mist that turned pink because of crepuscule hour. Even the strong air went soft as we enjoyed this wondrous view. Our home, always looked like it was constructed on the cloud, always soaring, as if heaven was possible to reach and grasped with mundane hands.

Did I feel mopey that I would never have owned the place? Nah! To maintain such colossal creature of building would take the life out of you. Uncle Richard and his kids pretty much had their destinies mapped in details for them, who would want that? I meant, yes, it was important, honourable and they would have more chance of being scripted in books. But while it was their game, why made it mine? There was no obligation, no forthcoming prospect to restrain me; as the result I was pampered like a princess. I could recall all the toys I used to have, my German-made Noah ark, my clockwork rowboat, that first-rate music box... In the beginning I suspected it was pity for a grandchild who would end up with no fortune,-you see-, my mum, after all, was common place

As I had told, my dad was the third out of four, first was Richard, then William, and last was Andrew. Uncle Andy, being the youngest, knew there was nothing much for him to do, had fucked off to Spain and enjoyed his bachelor life. Richard-our future Duke-had two spawns, Francis and Grace, who were both timid, gentle, and boring like their dad. Uncle Will, well, despite suffering from the "second son syndrome" during his teen year, did come out quite nice in the end. He was what we named 'a spare' for our 'just in case' policy; it was one queer slot to get stuck at; and truckloads of kids who had been on the same boat turned rebellious because they couldn't quite figure out what they were meant to do. Grandma thanked Jesus that he got his act together and married that genteel heiress of the Ishley-yes, that Ishley, Cook's branch-, one of our distant relatives. Uncle's Bill's first son passed away from birth defect, inbreeding and all, but the twin boys born few years later were playful and impish-though they were simple and not too bright. In short, everyone' future were secured, except dad, who didn't get a dowry from marrying mom and only worked for auction houses and private collectors

That was Grandma's opinions anyway. Pure paranoia was what it was, as dad managed his life well, and mom also had a job. At the age of reasoning, I assumed they pampered me because I was their 'unfortunate' little lamb, the one without a prosperous trust fund. Then I realised it was rubbish. They prized me so, they loved me so. They kept all of my crappy paintings, they gave me rare toys to play with, they showed me off with all their friends "Look at her, isn't she dear? That little jewel", I was the only one who could touch Grandma's dollhouse, and after a full day wrestling with the twins, or dragging their elder grandchildren to various events, they would come home and search for me. Their lips would curl up, their expression shone despite the weariness, "Here she is", they seemed to say, "She'll make things right, she doesn't belong to this house, she belongs to us"

_How could it be pity?_ I though, _what's love? If this ain't_

I was their spoiled princess, prone to cuddle, just like when Marie Antoinette exclaimed, "You shall be mine, and have all my care". My older cousins knew how much I was favoured, and truth to be told, they had been quite courteous about it. It was embarrassing, right now, after all that had happened, because I used to rub that fact in their faces, how much Grandma loved me, how much she preferred me. I scowled Uncle Richard's spawns for being too shy, I threw the twins smug look when schoolwork made them fret-which was rather often- as the Ishley branch had loads of charms, but didn't excel in the traditional method of learning, and most of them became artists or sport people-like Cook and his mum. Eff remarked how those kids in her middle school seemed to be bred in the same manner, she was right. All these houses had their specific traits, but we did share small little things, like the Ishley and us often possessed the same look. It was one confusing mess, thanked the lord I wasn't in that circle. I thought then, I would just live my life out, teasing me cousins until It went dull. That was, before disaster struck

It was one hot summer day, I spent the morning-like all morning- in the courtyard, wore my wits out in order to teach Sho to stand up on two legs. Such an easily distracted little creature, he was smart alright, but he was also a bundle of testosterone, and whenever I scowled him, he just yelped and looked cute. That treacherous trollop, took advantage of my heart. As the clock stuck twelve, he still focused on chasing his shadow

Grandpa, Grandma, my two uncles and their spawns were at this charity event-one of the most important yearly affair for the likes of us obsolete landowners-, something about farming, environment, preservation and what not. Richard as well as William-or his wife-, being icons for the Harlington and the Ishley, had to go and practice their smiling skill for a day. My dad could have attended of course, but the idea made him hurl. "Those people wish to see the heirs", he said, "Not the third boy". Never understood his resentful attitude, that asshole!

"Come on Sho, don't make a fuss", I whined, and, as if on cue, he stopped. His nose examined the warm air, his eyes focused. '_Something troubles him'_, I thought, looked around, in a few seconds or so I heard footsteps, and soon enough the butler appeared. "Lady Naomi" He spoke, a little too loud for my likings, "Her Grace, oh, what a disaster!". His voice cracked, there were tears in his eyes, and for the first time ever, he looked lost at how to speak or compose, "Her Grace asked for your presence", he managed.

'_Grandma? What's in the world?_!' I panicked, but couldn't say a word, and just stared at him for God knew how long. I didn't know when my limbs started to move, I only remembered the pounding of my heart, the echoes we made while running on stone floor, those various passages and sets of stairs that weirdly became redundant. Once I saw mum, and dad, my voice just vanished. Mum was crying, dad's face was as pale as powder, he looked like he was going to faint. I stared at my folks, part lost, part confused, part frighten.

They shoved me in the car, mom kept chanting about how it would be ok, that they were fine, until father told her to shut up with seethed voice-which scared the wits out of me. You know, Em was the brave one, she charged forward when things turned difficult; while I just dropped my tail like a toothless tiger. I didn't dare to comment, or questioned what's the devil was this all about; instead, I forced my mind to conjure up weird thoughts-'_Shotaro is becoming a handful chap'_, '_That button on mom's shirt should be fixed'_, '_Grace wondered which dress she shall wear today, poor soul, too gentle for her own good'_- It went on and on, until the hospital sign loomed in front of our car like a guillotine.

"Why are we here?" I finally spoke, suppressed panic was the motivation

They just mumbled a few disjointed words and dragged me through the door, hospital smells attacked my nostril, and my head went dizzy for a while. I managed to keep up with the pace, but adults had longer limbs, and soon I was panting. In a few seconds or so my folks arrived at the emergency ward-which looked like poorhouse shelter at the moment. Swarm of people inhabited its hallway, they walked around with bad hair, torn clothes that smudged with something like black grease. '_What on earth!'_

'_Wait'_ I began to recognise familiar faces among the madness, but before I could form a thought, I was gripped tight in strong arms. At first I was totally confused, all I saw was mess of gray hair, all I smelled was burn scent; "Thanks Heaven! Oh my little treasure" a voice spoke. Grandma! The one holding me was grandma! I raised my small arms and hugged her back, she felt so rough, so different. I tilted my head to have a better look, and what I saw troubled me. Grandma seemed exhausted and old, well, she was old, she just rarely appeared her age. But now, with the mask of lamentation she wore instead of a smile, I found her frail like those weak sorts that doctors used to speak against

I heard Grandpa talking to my dad, though I couldn't make out a word, he too was shaken up by the sound of it. If you had come to me then and said vampire had attacked the planet, I would have believed you. "Let's pray ay little one! For Grace and Joseph" _What?_ Our family huddled to some spot and started the religious ritual. I was stunned, '_what am I suppose to pray here? Or for whom?',_ What about Grace's brother Franc? What about George?-Joseph's twin-? What about their parents? "Grandma?" I asked, a little frightful

"Yes love?" She said with half of her spirit

"What's wrong? Where's everyone?"

She stared at me, as if her ability to speak had gone on holiday, I thought, '_Did I spook her?'_. Then, a few second after she burst into tears, my grandpa was also weeping. I clutched the hem of my dress into a bundle, feeling like an idiot. "Come here love" Mom opened her arms-which I jumped in gratefully. She scooped me up and we all sat down on the rows of chairs against the wall.

Had you ever try to sit still for hours when you were a kid? Pure torment. There were people roaming about, some we even knew, but none bother to exchange words, for-I guessed- they got enough private drama. I myself was becoming moody, I felt trap in this glooming atmosphere, which made the hot climate plain gruesome to breath. My back ached, my bum ached, my brain shut down. I had never been good under pressure, I should have noticed all those signs that pointed towards an atrocious accident, I meant, we were in a hospital, I should have known my cousins' fate, yet I did not. All I could feel was the steaming air, the miserable mood, and the burn in my throat. After a while my body had had enough. "I need a drink", I told mom

She gave me some coins and I dashed to the vending machine at the far end of the room. My eyes fixed on the red can of Coke in one wishful manner. I wasn't allowed to drink this often, but now seemed to be a good time to indulge self.

"Nao chan?" _Panda?_ I turned around and saw my dear friend, quirky as ever, though a bit tired. "You too huh? Real mess isn't it?", she said

"Erm… yeah" I acknowledged without knowing what sort of debacles I was acknowledging. "They all seem out of their heads. And half of my clan are gone… somewhere"

That earned me a hug from Pandora, "Cruel right? Half from yours. Imagine? I might loose half from mine, but my half is smaller than your half" she sobbed, "Pray to god that my cousins make it, though I don't believe in god. You family have you, you're whizzer cool, Panda's a stupe, Panda's illegitimate, my grandpop would throw a tantrum if all that's left was mom and my aunt" '_What's she talking about?'_

"What do you mean?" I asked

"The accident"

"Acci…" Oh no, It dawned on me, I could feel all the blood drain from my face. "You know, this morning, at the event" Panda continued, "Weather's too hot, something about dry straws and gas pipes. Blimey neck. They said most of the kids were trapped, and the parents rushed in to save them. Giant mess it was. Nao chan? Hey? Nao chan? You alright?". No, I wasn't. My head trailed to Uncle Richard, Francis, Grace, the twins… Everyone. _'Pray for Grace and Joseph_', Grandma words came back. No no no no. I left Pandora and ran towards my family, just in time to spot a doctor talking to them. I screamed out, but my voice was swallowed by Grandma's shrieking and wailing. Her cry drilled through my heart, made it crumble and cascade like a waterfall of endless pain

Richard

Will

My cousins

They were all dead

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**Disclaimer:** Yeah yeah, I know it's not 100% like that. Those kids aren't forced to study particular ancient languages and there're ranges of stuff to choose from like Herbrew but explaining everything would turn this into a documentary. And of course high infancy death rate from Naoms' grandma time was partially due to the fact that pregnant women were encouraged from not doing much exercise. Although many facts are true, it's a fiction first guys. PM me if you need stuff explain further in details


	14. Voice of the past Pt2: My name is

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Skins. Owning things is not an easy business to get into

**Warning:** Some violence (might be disturb to a few of you who love pet) towards the end, but if you have been reading this, what do you expect?

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Death is for the living

That mourn from Errol Morris suddenly made sense from that day onwards. No matter which kinds of religions you followed, or what you believed, deep down, you never knew where you would have gone to once you passed away. If my cousin were at peace, good for them, but peace wasn't something we felt. Our lives turned to the worst after that uncountable lost, it was the living who got affected by death, only the living.

How curious, for months I walked around with the same habits, as if my brain couldn't accept the fact that they weren't here. I would wake up early on Saturday to greet Joseph, George and Uncle Will's visit, I would collect red rose in the garden because Grace loved to have that old school flower in her room. Even the staff behaved like that, whenever our chef sent three children meals instead of one, grandma ended up weeping. Of course, those anguish little customs went away-albeit slowly-, but the trouble and pain still plagued you, made your skins crawl, made your spirit wither. Before, everyone in the house would have usually said "Such bright girl, my dear Naomi", "Lady Naomi is beautiful and smart, ain't she jewel?"… After that freak accident, everyone went "Lord Francis", "Lady Grace", "Oh, the twins would make one delightful mess, those little devils", "Lady Grace was so kind, poor thing"… These comments didn't make me jealous, It just made me feel ashamed

Em asked why I had interfered with her and Katie's personal business -speaking of the toilet episode when we were thirteen-. The truth was, watching Katie abused my young red head at such tender age brought back unpleasant memories. Well, I didn't slap or hurt my cousins in physical term like Katie did, and my swearing lexicon was not so colourful; but superiority complex had its damage. Even now, I still blamed myself for not treating them right. Franc, Grace, Joseph, George, I should have been a better person, a kinder person, should have shown how much I appreciate those twin boys, how much I loved Grace and Francis despite their demure and awkward nature. I would do anything to have them with me again, alive and healthy. So the image of Katie smacking her poor little sis just rubbed me the wrong way, '_that Katie doesn't value what she has'_ was my thought. If you had seen Emily then, you would have agreed that she was absolute sweetheart. Beautiful porcelain skin, cute button nose, her hair was not red, but as brown as her huge eyes, from which warmth emanated all over. How could you abuse something so precious? Tomorrow she might not be here anymore- who knew what would happen?– Loosing your flesh and blood was no fun

No fun at all

I was the sole surviving grandchild, as Uncle Andrew did not want children and would never have kids in the future, it was too late now anyway. I was declared heir, a title that held no interest to me since the day I was born. Loving history was not the same as keeping history, called me selfish, called me irresponsible, just spared me from the rules and obligation. I disliked injustice you know? And in this-sort-of-old-social class, there were things you had got to accept. For example: Boys would always come first in term of inheritance, no need to fuss or protest, it was what it was. I couldn't live like that

I couldn't be heir, things changed when you spent your whole life in an estate that huge

Things did change

It was the worst part

For my asshole of a father, it wasn't a surprise that he became someone I hated more than I ever did. Sure, he loved his siblings, well, loved enough to mourn their death; but his love for the estate was unrivalled. He placed it above all else, above mum, above his little girl. Suddenly we weren't good enough for him, mum suddenly was too unpolished, too rough; I suddenly was too clumsy or out spoken or boyish-whatever that meant.

"Gina dear, what are you thinking, putting on such a dress, people would assume the worst about our taste"

"What your manner young lady, and pay attention to your dog. When I was your age my behaviour was far more composed, and I wasn't responsible for the keeping of our home"

"Look at the state of these records, Gina dear, I know it's copious, but the house doesn't run itself, have to set an example for our child have we not?"

"Speaking of children, Naomi dear, that habit of running around and criticising the Prime Minister …"

It went on and on. Drove me mad. Before, if he became ridiculous, I would just run to my grandparents and pout; they had always been on my side. That fact also changed, it was what broke me to bits. "Listen to your father Naomi", "I know it's hard Naomi, but…", "You are a grown up now Naomi"… there was no "Little treasure", or "My jewel" anymore. At first I thought it was because of the shock that affected them like this-in a temporary way-; Naïve huh? So I began to rebel, with little things like: refused to go to bed on time, or took Grandma's bracelet without permission- not that I needed it, but just to drive them crazy, made them notice that I was alive, that I didn't care

Soon I spent most of my time walking around, looking nonchalant and bored- an attitude which was further honed in Bristol

"I don't want to go" I yelled for a million times that day. We were meant to get ready for Sir Goleman Annual formal party- It said party, but it was more of a business gathering- Which was quite fun to be honest, his estate housed loads of animals that he rescued, and us kids always had fun while adults do their things. I loved animals; so I was being ridiculous just to piss them off. Why you asked? I had no idea; I was a kid in pain, not much made sense at that state. As the result of my stubbornness, we all huddled in Grandpa's study to sort out my drama

"Come on love, you want to see the animals again don't you?" Mum tried to persuade me

"Not this time" I grumbled

"That's enough" Father clenched his teeth, he grabbed my arms and forced me to look into his eyes "Drop that attitude young lady. Do you know how fortunate you are? Food on silver plate, clothes on your back, a great history to your last name. You possess what others couldn't even dream of, despite how rich they are. Don't you dare ruin hundreds of years that your forefathers gave to you". His words didn't reach my ears somehow, I stared at him blankly, feeling my blood boiled my face raw. All this talk about the estate had become speech of imprisonment; I felt the survival of this household binding me like cold chain, gripped at my flesh. I turned to my grandparents, hoped to see some sort of support, and found zilch. They, like dad, wanted me to lead the life I did not wish for. How cruel! They used to love me so, prized me so, now I was nothing but a duty. "Damn this house! Damn you", I screamed, seized the paper weight on Grandpa's oak desk and threw it at my dad. It might be because I was insolent and disrespectful, or because said paper weight was around a hundred years old-Who could tell?- All I knew next, was that action earned me a hard slap on the face.

No one ever hit me before. No one. I heard mum shrieking, I felt Grandma's hands reached out and tried to prevent the fall of my child-like frame. But as soon as she touched me, I shoved her away; the burn on my cheek had already spread like virus in winter, a virus that infected my heart, made it quail. "I HATE YOU", I let out a deafening cry, then ran away from Grandpa's study in breakneck speed

No tears came until my room's door was slammed close and locked. I crawled on my bed and allowed the anguish to eat me for dinner. How could they? I was their favourite child, their spoiled thing. _'What good does love do to you? You're only loved when it's convenient, when it suits the purpose'_. My faith was squashed and torn-until that red head little Fitch came, like shining sun, to heal me, to show me love in its most glorious nature-but at the time, I was wrecked. _'Go away, go away, go away…'_ Those words seemed to repeat inside my head, I grabbed a pillow to squeeze, just to find something tucked underneath

A Note

'_Strange'_ I thought, picking up the paper

_Dearest Naomi,_

_Fate is not kind, but the Harlington always has the support of many for uncountable decades, you are not alone in your quest. This castle and its various artefacts are tokens of love, please make your ancestors proud by keeping that love alive. You are the smartest and brightest future heir; learn to appreciate your home, and may be one day you will discover its most wonderful secret_

_Faithfully yours_

_The other half of the 6__th__ Duke_

What on earth…

I stared at the note, this person must think me simple, the sixth Duke died around two hundred years ago. Who did this? I didn't recognise the handwriting. _'Some treacherous plot to fool a gullible girl? That's low'_, I crumbled the note in my palms and threw it on the floor. _'What a joke'_, my whole life had been a joke. That thought depressed me, again, and I found myself crying once more.

I got no clue how long I had lied there, I just knew that the sun had gone down, darkness had swallowed everything like one hungry monster; but I refused to move and turn on the light. Grandma, Grandpa, and even dad came, knocked on my door, mumbled some apologetic words, then gave up when they realised I wasn't going to let them in. I stayed like that, amidst the emptiness, until a combination of scratching and yelping noise rang in my ears, followed by mum's voice

"Someone misses you, love"

'_Shotaro_', I untangled myself from heaps of pillows and pulled the door wide open. He jumped on me like a kid on sugar, licked my face wet while wagging his tail. "Sho, Sho, good boy, miss me Sho? Love me? Yeah? You do right? Good boy", I cooed, "Come on" I patted the bed, he obliged and we ended up having a cuddle session, intuitive dog, my Sho, he knew when I was in a foul mood

"That sheet ain't cheap" Mum turned the light on, made my oculus screw shut with the sudden brightness, "If he ruin it, you'll be in trouble…again", she warned me. It was true, we loved our dogs, and even though time to time I saw a Pom Pom or Chihuahua in private chamber, hunting hounds were strictly banned from human beds.

"They can drag this castle to Tartarus for all I care, I don't want it", I announced with a grunt

"Shame, imagine the damage ay love? This place without an heir! So much history…" She let the sentence hang loose

"Mum", I sighed, "This world, it's not for me. Why does boy come first? Why does the eldest come first, and not the most able? You said I'd be the best politician; I'd fight for justice and make us all proud. You said the world was like this because people were too busy with their personal drama to help. This place IS personal drama mum. There're issues out there… like Africa… and famine… and child abuse…", I wrecked my face in order to recall all those things that troubled adults that I had read or seen on television-when I was allowed to watch television- It must be funny, for mum burst out laughing

"Listen to you! Talk all big", She smoothed my hair, "You sure about Africa? Running the castle ain't bad for a job you know?"

"I'm sure", I knew, just like the way I knew my feeling for Emily was true and whole; I wasn't born to run this estate. That sort of future looked grim, suffocating like. No doubt I would have to wed some dude and breed children-the idea had been disgusting then, it was even more disgusting now

"Very well" She tapped her finger on my nose, "Shall we be bad guys?"

"You mean?"

"I mean…." Her brown orbs twinkled with mischief; even Sho caught the look, and gave a playful woof

So that was how it happened, mum and I became a pair. I rebelled, she protected me, sometimes even covered for my defiant doings. I was not a destructive child, far from it, but the way they talked about the estate-as if I was a piece of furniture with legs-was pure irritation. We would show them that we meant business. I wasn't supposed to be bound by rules which had been formed during the time when women couldn't vote. Mum understood, she was sensible enough to realise this palace would receive more harm than benefit if handled by one unwilling heir- a notion which escaped the rest of the family. We refused to go to events, refused to dress up and visit people, we scoffed when Grandpa ordered us to 'learn how it works' at the farms. Even trading antique had become less pleasant, I never stopped loving old toys for sure, I just wasn't as keen on the formal business side of it anymore. At first, Pandora had thought me crazy, she was also named heir because all of her cousins were killed; poor thing, she reckoned it was honourable to be bestowed such status- being born illegitimate and all- but soon enough she herself realised it was nowhere close to easy. Name didn't mean a lot in our world, it's blood, and she was a bastard spawn, even when she became legit through circumstance, most of our schoolmates still avoided her like they used to, so in the end Panda agreed that such title was for someone else. Those months of naughtiness and rebellious doings were an act of screaming out loud: 'Let me breathe, let me choose my own road to walk on'. It was not in spite though. Deep down there was a small part that still believed my Grandparents treasured me or had some sort of affection left for me, and they would place their grandchild's wish first if they saw how miserable and damageable I became.

Though, those were time when weird notes kept appearing

The notes weren't trouble sorts-initially anyway-. They were filled with encouraging speeches, always tucked under my pillow, always about how great this castle was, yada yada yada, how meaningful it was, and "Other half of the 6th Duke" would be signed at the end. I didn't tell mum about this trouble-worst mistake-, figured it was a prank from dad or the servants who were persuaded by Grandpa. I tossed them to the grand fireplace of our dinning hall, then continued my rebellious routine, drove everyone crazy

Whoever the half of the 6th Duke was, he or she didn't like to be ignored, and it was when hell broke loose

The sun had risen as high as she could that particular morning and I was still in bed-which was a little too big for a girl my age-. It was part of our 'piss off my father' plan, by turning lazy and sleeping in. I yawned, rubbed my eyes, then trotted to the bathroom at the end of the corridor, feeling pretty shit. I found nothing out of ordinary, washing my face; it was when I reached for the comb and ran small fingers through my hair-which was long and had light brown colour then- that my heart dropped. It didn't feel normal. I grabbed a fistful of it and turned to where the light was brightest. Chunk of my hair was missing, from the left side of my head to be exact. '_Still in slumberland Naomi?_', or did I caught a hair virus yesterday? But the cut was neat, virus wasn't neat, at least not the one I knew off. At such age, with a brain full of sugar, my mind started to conjured up Sweeney Todd. Though before I could creep myself out, an earth-shaking scream made me jump

It came from my room

I panicked, part of me wanted to check what had happened, but another part, a bigger part, turned into stone and glued me onto the floor. I couldn't move. Then, I heard rustling footsteps, and someone squeaked our names in order, "Oh Lady Naomi", "Her Grace", "Lord Eric", "Lady Gina". In a few minutes mum's voice echoed the hall "Naomi, where are you?"

Knowing she was there gave me some courage; I turned the knob and opened my bathroom's door. "Mom", I yelled, almost like a desperate child

Everyone rushed towards where I stood, and by that I meant 'Everyone'. Grandpa, Grandma, dad, mum, and even our housekeeper- Mrs Bennett, who looked a bit drain in the face. "You have been up to no good, child. But this is way off the scale", dad scowled, though his scowl sounded weirdly uncertain. "We shan't let you turn your great grandfather's name into a laugh"

"What?" I said, confused at how the confused look on my face frightened him

"Darling" Mum spoke, voice soft, "Did you cut your hair?"

For some reason, tears started streaming down like waterfall. "I woke up and… it's gone, half of it… and. Is Sweeney Todd real? Am I one of those wicked folks?" It was ridiculous, of course- anyhow - warm imagination was good excuse. "Dearest", Grandpa waved me over; it was when I saw the stuff he was holding, a chunk of my hair, and a note-which I recognised. Mrs Bennett must have found it under my pillow when she came to make the bed. I took it and flipped it open. The handwriting was no more; instead, it was filled with individual letters that appeared to be cut from something like 'The Daily Mail', then glued on this note to make a sentence. Those notes were usually extensive, with weird babbling about my estate, yet right now all I saw was a line: _Not the true heir_. And at the end, _The other half of the 6__th__ Duke._

What the heck! "It's not me", I swore, and began to tell them about the notes I had been receiving, "I thought they came from you", I said, my eyes were fixed at Grandpa, "They were sweet, and handwritten… the previous ones". _Wait a minute_ "Did you cut my hair?" I touched my soft mane, the long part was still long, the short one, however, felt so strange.

"Oh no" Grandma's worried look troubled me. "Wait" I asked, "These are not from you? Any of you?" I felt a chill ran down my spine. "ANSWER ME", I yelled. It was frightening for a kid when adults appeared so lost and helpless. "Shhh, I'm here sweetheart, calm down" mum took me in her arms as I shrieked and wailed "Calm down, come on, no one's gonna hurt ya. I promised ay, promise". She kissed my cheeks, ruffled my hair-an action which made her tear up, for my usual locks were so odd right now. "We should call the police", She told dad.

"We sh…" He hesitated, "I don't want to blow matter out of proportion dear. This dreadful event, may be we shall… I mean… what if…" He turned to Grandpa "What do you reckon?"

"WHAT DO YOU RECKON?" I screamed. '_Are you kidding me? Does he need to think when my life is at stake?_' I meant, I got it, our kind was not fond of complaining. Even when that accident robbed us half of our clan, and the press made a big deal out of it, we just gave some public statements here and there, then wished everyone to leave us alone. We didn't fuss in difficult time, because we knew from the outside looking in, most people deemed us lucky; and to them, we could manage our own misfortune, unlike those who had to work hard to pay the bills. Except if you were, say, Princess Diana, but if not, no one would give a fuck. We understood that, I understood that, it wasn't about fear of scandal, we just didn't want to be perceived as ungrateful, spoiled assholes who whined when things turned difficult. The documents and pamphlet, which were handed to visitors who travelled to our palace, were adjusted in a very quiet manner, changes like the heir info, from "Francis" to "Naomi" were made without drama. Even my portraits' descriptions were modified in private, as if tragedy was for us to bear. But this and that were not the same. I couldn't help but imagined some freak guy, tip toe into my room with a scissor, caressed my hair, touched my face, cut my locks while thinking about sicker, more torturous things that he could do. "You DEVIL" I tried to shove dad with my small hands "I am your girl, you are supposed to protect me. I am your girl. Devil, Devil" How could he hesitate? How dare he when my life was put on chopping block? Normal mum or dad would have called the police by now.

"I'm not your heir. Do you hear me? Bad blood! I have bad blood! Damn you all", I ran to the bathroom, slammed the door close, and turned the dead bolt before they could barge in. '_where is it?'_ I searched inside my cabinet for the item. Mum used this bathroom time to time, she must… ha. I grabbed mum's scissor from her nail polish bag. '_It will do'_. I looked at myself in the mirror, seeing a reflection of someone I did not recognise. Part of me was killed on that day. I began to cut the rest of my hair short, ignored the pleading from my folks. It was a horrible haircut, but that's the point.

Once it was done, I walked out, threw my chopped tresses at Grandma "Find someone else to preserve this bloody castle, I don't want to live here". Then I dashed upstairs before they could say a thing. My own room with its huge bed was a better place to mope in a situation like this, but the room felt more like a crime scene to be honest, what if I woke up and found myself missing an arm? So that was why I chose the nursery as safe haven, this area was restricted and just a few people had access-fear of kidnapping I supposed

It said 'Nursery', but after I grew out of my toddler clothes it became a playroom. Hadn't been here ever since Grace and Franc left us. They were never given as many toys as I was- favourite child and all- So this room was plain torturous to stay in after they had passed away. I walked to my shelves, and lifted up the roof of my Noah Ark. Franc used to adore this. The Ark was almost a meter long, housed around two hundreds pairs of animals-all hand made to perfection. He knew how spoiled I was, and just simply eyed this thing with a wishful look. Poor Franc. I lied down on the soft rug that grandpa purchased for us, staring at the ceiling. I thought I was doted on then, now I knew it was rubbish. If there was a tiny hope left in me, it was squashed flat like a pancake. This castle was more important than their little girl; I should leave and made it easier for them to choose. Mum could divorce dad for all I cared, I did not want to spend a single more minute in this house

Sho came like a faithful servant in the middle of my moping exercise. He picked up a squeaky duck with his jaw, knowing funny noises would lighten my mood. I smiled at him "Come here son", '_ain't you precious'_, dear Sho, who loved his mistress to boot. "You know Shotaro, if we move, you won't have a forest to chase rabbits anymore. Just a small house" I scratched his ears, "Small garden. You won't hate me for it will you?". He licked my hands; "Of course you won't" I kissed him

If you took care and loved your dog, it loved you right back. People annoyed me, animals didn't. Sho and I played around for a bit, though my heart was with mum most of the time. Being on my side was far from easy, and there was not a lot that I could do to help. Whatever she discussed with the rest of them, it seemed to take time, for when she came knocking on the door, it was late. "Naomi. Can I come in?"

"Yeah"

"Hey" She tried to smile "You hungry?"

"No" Hadn't eaten any food today, but for some reason my stomach lost its interest. "Don't feel like"

"Nonsense" She scowled, "Come on, I whipped up some soup for you". Well, no point in arguing then, I didn't want to trouble her more than necessary. "You need to relax before being questioned by the police. Scary people", she joked. We walked out, she took my hand and led me to my room "You can have your meal in your chamber, just this once. He, on the other hand", she pointed at Sho, "has to stay out, Mrs Bennett is not keen on dog hair decorating that fine Georgian bed"

"I don't want to live here no more"

"what about your father?", she looked at me

"Shitty prick. Just divorce him"

"Language, you imp", She scowled, but I could spot a laugh she tried to conceal. "About that matter…"

Mum told me over meal that they might give us some space to think about the whole heir business. I was too young, so they hoped my mind would change-Like fuck it would-. Dad was being a twat, my grandparents did not love me anymore. But mum said it was no harm in at least trying for the people who did raise me up, fed me and clothed me. She got a point. I asked her what would we do, and she said we could take a holiday, just me and her. Jason had settled down nicely in Bristol, good food, port area, loads of ships. We could spend a few months there. They promised to get off my back about the estate once we returned, and be patient until I reached consent age or so. To be honest, I'd rather leave this place and never looked back, though right now I took what was laid on the table.

I was grateful that mum stayed with me the whole time, my eyes needed some rest, and this note business made me feel unsafe in my own room. She tucked me in, whispered sweet words to me. For the first time in my life, I wished that every drop of my blood belonged to mum. "Mother", I asked, "Can I dye my hair blonde. So I look like you"

"Oh sweetheart" she hugged me. "It will be alright. You're part of this old fool either case", she kissed my cheeks "Rest for a bit yeah, I'm right here. I'll call you when they come for questioning"

So I slept, but my nerves were heavy, my mind was heavy, my heart was heavy. I tossed and turned, feeling troubled even within my dream-like state. I saw Francis, the twins, and little Gracie. I called for them, begged them to come back, any of them. They just shook their heads, saying "It's yours now". In a blink, thick fog came, swept them away. I wailed and wailed, until a tall, cloaked figure appeared from the fog. It pushed me down on muddy soil, its hand suffocated me, trapped all the bad air in my lungs. I struggled and kicked, but it was too strong. A sudden wind passed by, cleared the cloud, and in one swift moment where the sun shone through, I saw its face

The 6th Duke

I woke up with a jolt, sweating like mad. I searched for mum, and found her sleeping next to me, worn out with tiredness from today's events. It wasn't total nightfall, and the sun stayed long during summer time, but I could still spot an abnormal bright flash of…something, at my window, made me leap in fear the first time I saw it. Then it flashed again, and again, like a signal. "Mum, mum". I shook her awake, "Mummy"

"What is it?" she said with coarse voice

I pointed at the blinking light, which puzzled her just the same. We opened the window, and siren sound of police car attacked us like waves. "What the heck? It supposed to be just a few chaps, for taking statements" she talked to herself, then to me "Well, let's go, wonder what they're up to eh?"

We headed for the east staircase and began our journey to the Great Hall. I tried to smooth my locks a bit, feeling conscious about meeting strangers with my new, ridiculous cut. We were half way there when the Butler crossed our path, he smelled like vomit, and looked like he had been vomiting. "Oh, Lady Gina, Lady Naomi. What a coincidence. I was on my way" He sure was white.

"The police has come then James?" Mum asked

"Indeed" though he seemed odd when confirming the fact. His eyes trailed to me, and for a moment there it appeared like my face broke his heart. "I could take young miss to her room, as Her Grace requests. His Lordship and Her Grace are near the old stable" His eyes fixed on me again, awkward and hesitant, as if he did not know what to do

"NO", I grabbed mum's hand "I want to stay with you. Don't leave me, let me come with"

"I'm not sure if it's wise my lady" He said, "You should not witness… such…" He turned to mum, begged like a child "Your ladyship. Please, it's… the Hound…"

_What? What's wrong with my dog?_

In a grand total of millisecond, I made a choice. He was hiding something, and mum would entrust me to him if she thought it was for my own good. I gathered my strength, pushed him down the stairs, then used that moment to ran as fast as I could towards the old stable. I heard the loud thud of his body, and mom's screaming voice. _'He'll live'_, my brain could careless, it was occupied with Sho, ever since I woke up with these Police's flashlights at my face, a terrible feeling had started to churn deep in the gut. I ran out, braced myself for the cold of the evening air. No way I would spend my time in a room with James, he might be the one who sent those notes, after all, he would loose his income if I refused to take over our family's estate. What was Grandma thinking? Me, him, in a room, together? Fuck sake!

My feet felt weightless as I ran on the grass, mostly because my mind was elsewhere, and when I spotted a good amount of police cars flashing towards the stable's direction, my inside clenched into a bad knot. That stable had remained closed for years. During the Second World War we had to give up some of our trademark luxuries, my Great Grandpa had to choose between keeping the greenhouse or his expensive horses. As he was a true tree hugger, our stable was demolished and no one had been there since, except for the annual dust and paint job. So why make a massive crowd?

I saw Grandma and Dad with some of the police near the old hay barn. It's best to avoid those two, they didn't want me here, whatever shit crime they committed, no way in hell they could use Sho as a… tool, or… hostage to force me to obey their commands. No police could take him from me. I felt like a cheetah, for my feet sparked no sound as I dashed towards the horse stalls. A large number of uniforms seemed to squeeze each other in that tiny space for some reason. So I charged forwards like a loose missile, but after a few minutes the cops detected the small child that stood out like a lamb among predators. "Kid, what are you doing?" some guy grabbed me and held me up in his arms. He was so strong. "NO", I screamed, "Let me down", I could hear Grandma's voice from the distance, she would lock me back in my room, then took Sho. "NO. SHOTARO, SHOTARO", I yelled his name. "DON'T TAKE HIM AWAY FROM ME. SHO, MY SHO, YOU HEAR ME BOY? SHOTARO"

A sudden flash from the police camera lit up the enclosed space, and as he held me up high in his firm grasp, I saw something over these many heads of men. A phrase was written in blood on the wooden wall, its letters huge and crimson, in the middle of it, was a handful of fur. The camera flashed again, and said phrase was made clear in my eyes. "Not the true hair", it read, like in my recent note. With the third flash, I saw my dog, his four paws were pinned on the wall with large iron nails, his stomach was stretched and cut open, his intestines ripped off in front of my very eyes.

"Shotaro?" My voice was soft and low, it wasn't a scream, or a loud wail, just a whisper of a child with dead spirit

What happened next? I found myself standing in a strange classroom, facing strange people who were around my age. My hair was bright blonde and short, unlike that little future heir from the Ascending Palace. I took my maternal Grandma's maiden name, and moved to Bristol with mum. Our homeroom teacher asked me to introduce myself to those restless brats, I scanned the area, and found a pair of twins, one of them eyed me with a curious look, then blushed as she realised she had been caught staring. The image of my own twins- Joseph and George- came back, coated my heart with guilt. I inhaled a deep breath, then said my name loud and clear, despite the laughter which I knew would surely follow

"My name, is Naomi Campbell"


	15. That which runs thicker than blood

Thanks for the few of your who reviewed. Especially Padmesky

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Skins, owning thing you don't create is a nasty business. The fact that Aronofsky owns the copyright of "Perfect blue" makes me very sceptical about "Black Swan", hope he doesn't ruin one of my favourite movies

**NOTE:** Most of Effy's flashbacks are taken from Skins Gen 1, but you don't need to watch it to understand this.

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…

…

…

"_Let's make a deal", He said, "We'll call an ambulance as soon as you fuck your sister"_

"_You're joking?"_

_He took off his sunglasses and displayed a calm, no-nonsense attitude. Josh-he called himself-watched while Tony Stonem looked at his unconscious sister-little Elizabeth-then back at him. "No, actually it's true. So erm. No, not a joke" He came closer to where the boy stood, "More a funny fact". He knew it would provoke the boy, and it did. Tony turned around, tried to shove him off with bare hand. Dumb move! That boy was the kind who played football time to time then went to the pub, he was the kind who had been kicked, pushed, and trained. In a blink of an eye, Tony was held down on the billiard table, "Don't worry, it's not her first time, you won't be taking her virginity"_

"_You're fucking insane! She's my fucking sister you sick fuck"_

"_You put porno pictures of MY sister, on MY phone", Josh was full of rage now, Abigail-his sweet Abigail- she was young, innocent; and like the rest of those girls in that posh private school, Abigail was too eager to please the common bad boys, just to prove that she was naughty, that she could misbehave. "So" Josh continued, "I make you FUCK. YOUR. SISTER."_

"_Is this about Michelle? You really think Michelle is worth this?" Tony asked in tears_

_Michelle? What a stupid thing to say! She was a good girl, and most importantly-she was exciting- unlike those demure bubbleheads whom his folks seemed to adore, but he didn't go this far because of Michelle. That stupid Stonem twat thought he could screw Abby and ruin her reputation, HIS Abby, his own sister, his own blood. It was blood, it was always blood. No one could mess with that and stayed alive. He began to beat the heck out of the poor boy, then stripped him naked. "Your sister is dying over there, you'd better get hard"_

"_I can't. I… Effy, " _

_A few feet away, Effy Stonem lied still, overdosed with dugs, and was oblivious to her brother's torment_

…

"Effy, are you listening?" I waved my hand in front of the brunette, a bit annoyed. Here I stood, spilling my guts out, and what I'd got so far was stares. This one wasn't fond of conversation, and we were not best friends-she was closer to Katie and Panda. But now wasn't time to act mysterious, I had already confirmed our 'gay and consummated' relationship to her, what more could she want? "That house… castle, ain't secure. I can't let Naomi go back there without a fight". I turned to Panda, "Need some help! Any idea?"

"There's not a lot of option to make it safe. You can send an army of chipmunks and… I'm not helping. I'm useless", Panda looked all guilty. Poor soul, ignored by her peers, abused by circumstances, and because of what? Having no father? Ridiculous! "Not your fault Panda", I tried to assure her, "What can you do in this situation? Messed up is what it is. I don't understand how someone can rank a building above a girl's mental health"

"You'll be amazed" Effy scoffed

I was amazed all right. Naoms confessed all that needed to be confessed, and her tale was cinematic, almost unreal. It was nice at first, to discover how spoiled she had been. Then it became a complete nightmare, my heart sank when she mentioned Shotaro, her voice cracked and her blue orbs were filled with tears. "Sorry", I was an asshole who made such wonderful girl relive those horrible days. "Shouldn't push you, Damn my lack of patient. Fuck Fuck Fuck…"

"It's ok, you have nothing to do with it" she dismissed my apology. "Come here" She opened her arms, and I wriggled myself into her embrace. We were sitting in Gina's unkempt back garden, on top of the grass. It was muddy; yet she was comfortable, as she was with the cold- a childhood attribute I guessed-, she grew up in an ancient palace, and used to muck about in the woods. We remained quiet for a few minutes to enjoy each other's company. It was one beautiful morning, all sunshine without a hint of grey. Naomi's blonde hair sparkled; her blue orbs glowed as if they were pure gems. We skipped class… for a second time this week. My sister gave me loads of suspicious looks when I told her my head still ached like hell. Screw it! Being able to spend some alone time with Naoms was worth breaking millions rules. I rested my ears on her chest and searched for the heartbeats. I craved her, her warmth, her touch, her smooth skin… I would be torn apart if she was hurt by some demented sicko. "Don't leave, you're safe here", my voice sounded unsure

"It isn't true, I ain't gonna yell my birthright at the rooftop for everyone to speculate, but how could we have a future if we lived in constant fear? How could I work in politic if my past wasn't resolved? They'll need an answer soon anyhow. Grandma wouldn't support and hide us in Bristol forever. Takes a lot of money and string pulling to stay anonymous under this silly name" She kissed my forehead, "It's so hard, not seeing your face for god knows how long"

"Then don't go", I begged

"Emily" Her voice cracked, "I would if I could. It's… You're much braver than I am. You can be strong for both of us yeah? I'll come back to you soon", she attempted to smile and look confident, but failed miserably._ 'Brave? Nah ah. I don't feel brave, I am a selfish girlfriend who wants to keep Naomi all for myself'_ "I'm not that courageous, I can't stand up for what's right, can't say a thing when my sister and mother force their ideas on us. You are brave"

"No Em", she shook her head, her fingers stroked my cheeks adoringly, "I ran, splashed about, hated those who gave me a home. Yet you, you love them still"

"What?" I asked, confused

"Do you hate your folks? Like, really really hate your folks and your siblings to a level where you can't tell who you are anymore?"

"Well, no" It was strange, thinking about that in depth. Sure, I was pissed at Katie and mom, driven nuts by our pervert youngest bro, and let down by father, but hate? "I'm not valued, or …respected, at home, it's no news. It's just… there's no point in hating them. They do possess some good qualities, it's difficult to understand but yeah, they do" '_Where is my girl going with this?'_

She beamed out a smile, "Hate is simple, love is hard. It takes more courage to love those who don't treat you well. I was a mess because of hate; do you remember those years in middle school where no one liked to be friend with me? Because I was a tough little thing, prone to cynical criticism, walked around with a negative attitude. It sort of changed after that freak incident in the toilet when we were thirteen. I though 'I ruffled Katie up and gave her a hell of a scare, now Em doesn't need to follow that jerk around like a puppy no more'. To my surprise, you hung on to her still. I assumed you were mad, but then I noticed, I noticed how brave you were. My dear red head couldn't give up on her siblings. You knew Katie needed support, so you stayed by her side. You love your twin, your loud, obnoxious twin. It's rare, to meet people who can overcome the dreadful events that have happened to them with grace and love. You are one of these people, I'm not"

I blushed, "Don't make it sound so fantastic. Your case and mine are different"

"Well, yes, but I can't help but thinking that if you were in my shoes, you wouldn't run off and change your name" She kissed me, just a peck, but as soon as she drew away I leaned in and captured her lips again. It was meant to be soft, yet this kiss was anything but soft, I could feel her tongue invading my mouth, feel her body pressing for contact. How could I give her up? How could I give half of my soul up? "Na…Naomi?"

"Yeah?" She said between breaths

"You said I was brave. So… let me be brave. I don't want you to fight this alone. I want to go with you, and Gina" Our eyes locked, at first she appeared almost, almost grateful, then the meaning of my request sunk deep, and her eyes became serious. "No. No fucking way"

"Oh come on!" I said, she tried to remove herself from me, but my arms gripped her tight "This isn't fucking world war two, I'm not a soldier's sweetheart. Can't just sit here and wait when you're elsewhere with a psycho, I fucking love you babe, so so much" _For God's sake! Grow a pair Emily_ "Who will protect ya if I don't?"

"That's the point, it's too dangerous", She shouted "It's hard enough to protect myself, who will look after you then? How could I live if something happened to you?"

"How could I live if something happened to YOU?" I fired back. "Have you ever thought about that?"

She bit her bottom lip, made me want to drop the argument and snog her senseless. "Em, whatever that nutter has in mind, he…she wants a heir to keep our estate intact. I had hoped that during the time I was gone, Grandma would have picked a relative and bestowed him the title, but in the end she didn't. That bastard won't harm the heir, yet you, he will harm you. You're dear to me, like Sh… Sho… Shotaro" _Fuck! Painful subject_. My girl was immediately in tears as she whispered his name. I took her in my arms and endured her quiet sobs. "Besides", Naoms continued when she gathered enough strength "I'm sure that your folks won't let you go. They haven't met me, you haven't come out, and there's college. You can't just pack your bag then run away"

_Oh! It's something I haven't considered_

"We can elope" I joked

"I'd love that" She grinned, "Where'd you like to spend our honeymoon?"

"Goa" I said, "Or Spain. Or Japan. You speak the language"

"Pandora speaks the language", She rolled her eyes "I speak very little"

"By the way, she calls you Nao chan. What's it all about? Pet name?" I poked her, feeling curious. She gave a light shrug, "Just a honorific, chan is for childhood friend, close friend… or lover" her face turned pink at its last translation, which was just cute "Will call you Mily chan if you want, though I prefer Ems. Less long to shout out when I'm in orgasmic ecstasy"

It was supposed to work as a joke, but it didn't, I felt my stomach flipped, I felt something raw tingled my nerves. She noticed the sudden change of mood, and as she gazed into my lust filled eyes, her breathing became heavy. The air-for some reason-turned warm, '_Bedroom, now'_, but before I could say those words, Naomi licked and bit her bottom lip; it was an unconscious, unintentional sort of gesture, yet it made my resolve and patience vaporise. "Bedroom is overrated" I kissed her and pushed her onto the ground. Naomi looked shock at first, but as soon as I straddled her and stripped off my jacket, the shock disappeared. "You're so warm" She said, "Like fire"._ Me?_ "It burns"

"Is it painful?"

"No, it is the most vigorous, yet gentlest flame, you have …" I silent her with a kiss, our tongues immediately found each other. Unlike before, this kiss was meant to be hard, yet it came out soft, so soft. I heard her moaned, I felt her writhed, but those moves were not urgent or frantic. She was sensual, slow; she was everything that screamed, 'You're more than just sex, and I shall remember every single touch, every single kiss that we share'. In a strange way, it made me want to yank her clothes off and shag her senseless. She arched her back, lifted her thigh, she rubbed against my cunt and I couldn't help but groaned silly noises. Her hands sneaked under my blouse and stoked my bare skin, waking up the animal which dwelled at the pit of my stomach, when she cup my breasts, said animal burst forth, then coiled. "Fuck… Nao…" This yearning, this craving…

I fumbled with the buttons of her coat while attacking her neck with nibbling bites. Needed to take her, all of her. How cruel! How unfair! She was so beautiful, so young, so brilliant. She was born to be spoiled and adored, not to be separated from her sweetheart and tossed to a psycho. "I love you, don't run, please don't run", our lips crashed again; the sheer force made me jolt with desire, "Who will keep you safe?" I broke our kiss and grabbed her hand, I wanted her to know how wet she made me, how much she turned me on, but before I could shove those delicate fingers under my skirt, I saw her cheeks, seconds ago they were waterless, now they were dampen with tears

"Hey… it's ok. Don't cry"

"Em, you're the one who's crying" She said softly. _Huh?_ I reached up and touched my own face. '_It's true!'_ Those droplets of tears fell from my eyes onto hers, '_Damn!, how come?'_, I felt nothing, as if my consciousness refused to acknowledge how vulnerable and fragile our love was. "Oh fuck!. Sorry" This was embarrassing, '_Stop now, stop_', I cleaned my face furiously with the back of my hand, to no avail, for some reason I sobbed harder and harder. "Pathetic, Pathetic"

"Hey, Em, Em it's ok. Come on" She took me into her arms, It was too much, too much feeling. I'd just found her, I didn't want to loose her like that. "Don't leave" I begged, though I knew it was futile.

It was when I made a decision

Many years ago, Dad brought home this random film-which title I couldn't remember- about a man who was hauled off to fight some war while his sweetheart stayed at home and waited for news. Everyone was in tears, praising the woman, but I thought she was ridiculous and cowardice. If my girl went to fight a war, I would be there on the battlefield, If she ran, I'd make sure that my feet would run just as fast to catch up with her, my arms would stretch out to protect her, even if it meant picking up a sword, or a gun

No way in hell I'd sit here and wait

Though, to be able to convince my folks… The idea was problematic; first, I needed to come out, saying… saying, ehhh "Mom, Dad, I'm gay, I'm in love with a girl named Naomi, she's rather beautiful, and intelligent, and she owns a castle, which she doesn't want to own. Trouble is, there's …." Nahhh, It was plain stupid, Mom would lock me up in a madhouse.

I said goodbye to Naomi and went home with strong determination. But there's no plan, I had no idea how to proceed or what to do next. I needed help, though our friends were not exactly reliable, Cook? Too fucked up, JJ? Too complicated for him, Fred? Thomas? They wouldn't care; in the end it was Effy and Pandora who appeared plausible. I skipped school for the third time in order to meet them and talk. Now Katie knew something wasn't right; the 'I'm sick and have a headache' excuse didn't work anymore. She said nothing, but I was sure she'd force us to spill our secret tomorrow if not today. Thanked Jesus for Eff and Panda, when they heard that Nao was in danger, they responded real fast. They didn't mind ditching school at all, however, with IQs like those two, school were just redundant.

Strange, I noticed how nervous Effy was, at least Panda tried to help. Effy, on the other hand, just stared, and stared, and stared. I could tell she was holding back, this girl's mind was a world of mysteries; yet at times she could appear so delicate, so vulnerable. Who knew? Elizabeth Stonem had a soft heart, but there was no reason to be nervous. None of this concerned her anyhow. She'd acted weird ever since she saw my girl's young portrait in Ruth's Catalogue

…

"_I don't have friend"_

"_Great! I don't have any either, isn't it great?" Panda replied_

_Elizabeth looked at the girl, extremely annoyed. She had no clue how she was partnered with such …comical thing. Messy ribbon, frizzy blond hair, awkward pig tails, and a name that was too original for this sort of school. Still, she could skim the surface and detect what was underneath; this girl was one of 'them'. That meant they wouldn't match, and shouldn't socialise. _

_Of course, Eff was far from normal, she and her brother were smart enough to get in private school with scholarships. Their folks were so proud, not to mention glad because public school produced too much temptation, or so they thought. Everyone adored the pair, for they were gorgeous, fresh, and naturally bright. They didn't need hours of extra lessons or need to spend their childhood learning Hebrew and what not, yet they passed every exam with ease. Both of them had such a blast at first, but in times, soon they realised it was more complicated than it looked. Not because those people were snobbish or unfriendly towards common blood, they were-in fact- very welcoming, very civil. Yet in a way, it's… specific, too specific; those guys were attached to their household in such queer sense. Eff and Tony were too frank, too free, too…possessive; the Stonem required all of the attentions from their partners, they had to own every inch of the ones they loved, they even had to own their friends. _

_It was unrealistic to hold such attitude in that world. Those people placed history above everything else; they were moulded to accept their duties. Eff and her brother understood, and that made it worse, it would have been simple if said duties had had no merit, but it had, so cursing and blaming the ones who was willing to preserve ancient truth were plain immature. In the end, Tony gave up and joined Roundview's delinquents, while Effy couldn't wait for middleschool to be over to follow his lead. _

_Then Pandora came_

_The girl was, indeed, weird; as if god didn't know what to do after he had created people, so he made Panda to amuse himself. But it wasn't long before Effy noticed how lonely Pandora was, yet how cheerful; she made Effy laugh, made Effy feel innocent, like a nine years old whose life was simple and ridiculous. Though, she was afraid to get attached because Panda was, after all, an heiress; hence imagined the surprise when Panda said she was coming to Roundview_

"_Don't you have a house to preserve?"_

"_Well, It isn't that big" Panda's estate was, of course, huge, yet compared to some it was as small as a horse house. "Grandpop's title is like monkey in the circus, you know, the ones where they have lions doing tricks. I'm a bastard, so nobody would complain; we don't own anything valuable enough for anyone to go bonker, unlike that friend of mine. Well, we're not friend anymore, she ran. She was my only friend. Now you're my only friend, I want to keep you. Can I keep you Eff?"_

_What a thing to say! No one-beside Tony-had ever said that to her before. No one had given up that big of a fortune, or had thrown away such honourable duty, to become her friend, though she did have bigger offer from boys who wanted sex, but this Pandora, she wanted Effy for such simple reason_

_Eff was torn by the younger Fitch's pleading look. She knew that kind of love, she craved that kind of love for herself. Naomi and Emily, they made a fine pair. Yet bad memo kept flooding back; She'd just found Panda, if she got in too deep, she might loose Panda for real. _

…

"You know what they say. Blood, it runs thicker than water" The tall brunette suddenly said. "Why do you think your sweetheart went to Ruth's party? She knew how dangerous it was"

"Isn't it because of Cook?"

"Because Cook and Patrick are her blood. Its pull is too strong, you can't ignore it, you can't stop it. No one can", She mumbled. Okay, What the hell! I stared at Roundview's famous bad girl, half confused, half annoyed. Was she here to discourage me or something? "If you want to give up, go ahead", I spat out, "But don't expect me to do so. I don't know a whole lot about family, but I know a thing or two about love. Love doesn't need excuse, I ain't gonna sit here and think of a reason to not fight. She went to Ruth's place because she loves Cook, she'll go back to her childhood home because she loves me. It has nothing to do with blood"

"Em's right" Panda grinned. "I came here because I love you Effy. Not love like, you know, lesbian, coz there's no way I'll munch your muff. No offence to lesbians of course. You're so cool Eff, we can be together forever. I don't even want to be together forever with my mum. She's a total tit sometimes. Let's help Nao so she can be together forever with Em, just like us. I mean, with added sex"

I found myself struggle to not laugh. Panda was weird, yet entertaining as hell. I sneaked a glance at Effy, expected some sort of amused look, only to find her staring at Pandora with those mysterious, unreadable eyes. "Together forever" She said softly, her voice was a mix of relief and… happiness. Hang on! _'Is this what she was afraid of?'_

"Yeah" Panda confirmed, "I don't love my family, except mum. Nao chan's the same. Horrible isn't it, that she can't get out, while I can. Don't want to go back there, they treated me like a monkey. You don't treat me like a monkey", Panda giggled, "We did sleepover last night, it's wicked fun. She let me braid her hair, and her mum made us pancakes, with loads of honey. I think love is thicker than blood, we didn't have sleepover because we were related right Eff? You love me, and I'll stay with you forever because I love you too"

The brunette heard that, and smiled. '_Fuck_' She was beautiful, sometimes her alluring exterior made me forget how young she was. '_What a vulnerable kid!_', I understood then, she was just a kid, who had doubts and fears like everyone else. "Hey, I'm sor…"

"To cure a child's bad mood, all you need is a blooming flower"

Effy cut me off with that cryptic remark

"You ok?" I knew she was strange, but this was too weird. She ignored me and grabbed Pandora, then pull the blonde into a hug. "Thanks Pandapop"

"You're welcome…. What are you thanking me for though?" Ha, at least I wasn't the only one who was confused

"For being simple", she said

"Is it good?" the blonde asked

"Yeah, simple things are beautiful, sometimes we forget, and we need a child to remind us". She looked at me, "In fact, if you want to go with your lesbian princess to the 'Palace from hell', it's quite simple"

"What?" I perked up immediately. I'd do anything to keep my girl safe

"First, you need to come out, not to your mom or dad"

"To whom then?"

"Your sister"


	16. Brunel's SS Great Britain

**Disclaimer:** To those who sent me hate mails, I don't own skins or own a palace. Get a grip, it's a fiction guys

…

…

…

* * *

"I SWEAR I must have done something. Your sister hates me"

"She always hates you" Em mumbled, bored with the conversation

"Yeah, but not like this. She used to either avoid me or call me names, now she gets… mysterious, or… mysteriously repressed. It's weird" I tried to convince Em. For weeks my life had been a dishevelled state of chaos, there were arrangements made with the school and with Grandpa in the subject of my returning, then there were talks of private investigators as well as the local police because we wanted to get down to the main problem once we arrived. None of us enjoyed the idea of what to come, hence our relationship got thrashed about like a rock in a violent storm. We hadn't spoken about my departure again, my babe hadn't said a word, but I knew how difficult it was for her. Rubbed Kit Kat into all this, and you had the perfect nightmare. Katie wasn't the sort to hate without reasons-albeit ridiculous reasons, such as... boys and clothes- yet now I couldn't quite catch why she was a complete tit. Em blamed the mood swing on hormones, which was absurd, unless some bloke knocked her off and made her cranky

Dealing with these problems made time appear to fly rather fast, and as I turned around, it was Christmas

Grandpa and grandma asked me to come back to spend the holiday with them, fuck if I would have. It was our first Christmas as a couple, I wanted to be lost in her arms, I wanted to erase the impending doom from my mind, even if it was only for a few hours. No one could ruin out last moment of joy. Jena and Rob could have Ems on the twenty-fourth and twenty-fifth, as mum and I would have our hands full with packing because we were supposed to depart on the next day. But right now, she was mine, all mine.

She was special, and she deserved something special, which wasn't mum's horrid excuse of a house. Hotel was too redundant, too enclosed, too pretentious; and that was why we came here. It was perfect, well, 'it' was a 'she', she was perfect. A mammoth during her hay day-which was during the nineteenth century-, a glorious accomplishment in architecture and engineering, unrivalled and unmatched; she was, no doubt, beautiful

Brunel's SS Great Britain

A ship, but not an ordinary ship. She wasn't Titanic-large, because she was much older, more than six decades older; yet one glance at her massive gearwheels or iron hull would make you swoon right then and there. Due to age, and due the fact that she was the first ship which combined screw propeller with iron frame- the origin of modern sea transport itself-, SS Great Britain wasn't allowed to make more voyage, and Bristol became her home. Everyday she rested on the town's dock, enchanted mere mortals with her timeless allure. Of course, maintaining artefact took money, so entrance ticket was charged. What most folks didn't know, was that once a year, in order to celebrate Christmas and to raise the bar up a scale, they allowed few people to spend one night on board. Good drinks, good music, old fashion ballroom dance floor, cuisine cooked by Bristol's top chefs… just perfect for my dear Emily.

"_How the fuck did you pay for this?" She eyed the two invitation scrolls where our names were hand written and wax sealed for novelty's sake. We had toured the vessel years before as part of some culture program, but on the twenty-third we would sleep there, imagine the thrill!_

"_Nothing I can't afford" I shrugged, "You wouldn't want to spend the day in my room, with Gina near by would you?"_

"_Does that mean I have to dress up, learn …Victorian dance and what not?" _

"_Nah" Such dance was so ancient that the only use it had was to irritate actors in Jane Austen's costume drama. "It's formal, but there are only few first class guests who spend the night. Dinner and Christmas ball will be mixed with different guests, you don't have to purchase any weird gown, I'd prefer something I can rip off, you know" A wink was sent her way_

"_Hmmm, there goes my Victoria Secret underwear"_

"_WHAT?" I choked_

"_Wouldn't want you to rip them off would I?" She grinned. EVIL! _

From then on, the image of my Fitch in sexy undies was a hell of a distraction. I kept looking at her as we walked towards the dock; she was wrapped in one giant coat because of the cold air; but I knew she wore a dress beneath that thick layer. She hadn't shown me, and I couldn't help but imagining what her gown would look like, or what she would look like without it. '_Urghhh_' I mentally slapped myself, '_Since when you became a pervert?_' Before I'd thought that love was controllable- as Grandma controlled it well enough to stop caring-, turned out I was wrong. Keeping my hands off Emily Fitch was as hard as fighting a giant snake. No, scratched that, I'd rather fight the snake. Snake didn't have boobs, or curves, or… '_Fuck! I'm pussy whipped…. Oh great! Now even my thoughts are full of garbage' _

"Wow" Emily said once SS Great Britain came into view. "She's gorgeous". Indeed, Isambard Kingdom Brunel was a pioneer in ship building-which was a surprise even to the man himself, because he was more into railways and bridges. SS was his first dabble into the 'ocean transport' area. You knew what they said about first love, and because SS was his first love, there was something about her. To top it off, they adorned her with strings and strings of light to celebrate Christmas, which seemed to enhance her beauty and glamour even more

"Gorgeous girl deserves gorgeous thing" I smiled at Em, she was so cute when she blushed

"You ain't bad yourself" She said, then touched my new long hair. I had grown it out these past weeks, the curls were back, they draped slightly over my shoulders and bounced against my face. Though I kept it blonde still, for mum. "I don't know why you ruined your look with bad hair and bad clothes" Em shook her head

"I was a bit extreme, no one paid attention to me anyway"

"I did" She confirmed

How could you reply to that? It made me feel blessed and miserable at the same time. '_I've just found her…. Oh stop! For Pete's sake. Stop thinking about tomorrow when she would return to her family while you would pack and return to yours'_. "Come on" I led her towards the gate. We passed the info room, then walked up the slope and reached the boarding ladder, with luggage in hands. "You have the invitations right?" I turned to Em once we arrived on the deck. She searched her small suitcase and handed me the two scrolls, which I gave to the man in weird Victorian costume

"Ah, Ms Fitch, Ms Campbell" He read out loud, "Welcome on board. Let me take these", he returned the papers, then took our luggage "Oh, they are quite light"

"She refused to pack one bag" Em said, with a hint of annoyance. Thing was, I got Em another gift which I hadn't told her about yet, couldn't let her pack my stuff and spoil the fun now could I?

"Very well. This way ladies" The man walked to the bow, "My name's William, steward of Her Majesty' SS" He stopped in front of a small deck house, "Your room is located on the upper level, near the boudoir. I hope you find it satisfactory" He opened the hatch and revealed a narrow staircase. We went down, walked through the galley and storage area to a long corridor. These parts of the vessel had always appeared, well, dim; however, for the sake of the once-a-year-occasion, lights were hung everywhere. We couldn't help but be enthralled by the warmth; the effortless charisma, and the generous scent of aged wood.

He unlocked the door of-I supposed-our room in the first class quarter. As I'd explained, this was not the Titanic; we weren't paying for a room as grand as Kate Winslet's one in the movie, but it was grand enough.

"Wow" Ems' voice was a mix of astonishment and relief. I knew the 'posh' prospect made her anxious, well, blamed it on TV programs were rich folks threw away huge sum just for show. SS Great Britain had class and pride, they would not put up a swank décor to prove how amazing the ship was. Our room was exquisite and at the same time, modest and pleasant. An ebony-veneered oak wardrobe, which was inlaid with bass and turtleshell, stood on the left; next to it was an old-fashion washing basin. Two tapestry chairs and a coffee table were placed near the porthole where Western Dockyard harbour could be seen. Our bed was put the wall on the right, its carved sycamore frame, satin sheets and fluffy quilt seemed rather tempting, If I could ravish Emily…

"Where'd you like to settle your luggage?" Will's words steered my train of thoughts back from perv land

"Umm, near the wardrobe, thanks"

"Ay Miss" He put them down, then gave me the key "There's just one I'm afraid, rules are strict here and we're not allowed to provide more. If you need another room key you should fill in the form and I'll hand it to the person in charge"

"It's ok, thank you" Em said

"One of the guides will come shortly for further services, please enjoy"

"Guide?" My read head asked once he walked out of the room, "He didn't mean the 'follow you wherever you go' people?"

"It's just a term" I assured her "Something to do with touring and exploring the place I bet"

"Ahh" She nodded and opened the wardrobe, "We've been here, no need to explore, when's dinner? I'm starving"

"Aperitif and Champagne will be ser…" My sentence was cut short when she unzipped her coat and revealed her evening attire. Dark blue in colour, low V cut at the front, and when she turned to grab her suitcase, I could see that it was a backless gown. She was so beautiful, so sensual, she made such skimpy little outfit looked refined. Her porcelain complexion almost, almost glowed…

"You approve then" Emily said as she caught me staring, "Well, well, my turn", She came over, took off my scarf and peeled my long jacket off in one swift movement. I felt those things hit the ground, I felt her eyes on me. "Green suits you" Her fingers tugged at the straps of my dress, then trailed to my collarbones, making my stomach twist into a knot

"Umm… It's a blend of green and yellow" _Geez! Pathetic! Can't control myself around this one. Say something smart Naomi._ Yet before I could speak, she'd moved her hand down and caressed my breasts, lips curled into a smirk when I couldn't help but groan and lean into her touch. "You're quite conservative" Em remarked, "Wearing bra and all"

The statement made me drove my eyes down to ogle her boobs, "You're not wearing one" I gulped. The vision of her perky tits that I saw through the thin layer dress was a hell of a tease

"Hmmm" Em gave a sly, devilish smile, "Since you said you would damage me underwear, I think it's best to go commando"

Comman… "YOU WHAT?" I yelled. _Hang on… Aren't we having dinner, with like... many, many people_

A knock on the door interrupted our talk, some woman who had the worst timing on the planet made herself known as our guide. "How are you settling in ladies?" _Good thanks, could you leave so I can get back to Em's naked ass._ "Care to explore SS ladies?" _No thanks, been here, seen those massive chains and pistons, commando Fitch is whom I'd love to explore_. Of course I let Em managed the answers because my brain was too full of distracting images, but our guide went on and on. "Do you require maps and directions ladies?" _Piss off woman!_

"Well, I don't remember exactly how to get to the dinning room from here" My girl said, "Need a bite or two"

"Dinner is not ready but there's canapé and…"

"YOU SERIOUS?" I screamed, startled both of them "You're wearing…. that to dinner?"

"The dress is lovely, Miss" The woman said, confused, while Em looked all coy

"Not the dress…" What was the polite way of saying of 'My girlfriend has no underwear on'? "It might be windy… umm…" the explanation was so ridiculous that Emily was trying hard to keep a straight face

"You're inside Miss, there's no wind" Fuck! She thought I was mental

"Just lead the way, I'll take care of this one" Emily took my hand, intertwined our fingers and pulled me out of the room. "I'm so hungry that I can eat a whole cow"

_There's something I also like to eat, but it's not on the menu. Stay here!_

Yet I followed suit, it's weird how she had become more confident and I had become more submissive. We went pass the storage area and walked down another deck to the ship's saloon, my head darted everywhere like a fox, scouting for potential pervert who might notice Em's state of clothing-or the lack thereof. All my senses were put on high alert when we reached the dinning saloon, as there were more people than I'd hope for. En said thanks to the woman, bid her goodbye, then seized a champagne glass for herself, "This stuff is good" She drank cheerfully, "Where's the canapé? She said there would be some, I'm starving"

"Not so fast" I snaked my arms around her waist and pulled her close, couldn't let her trotted everywhere in such… condition, "Some people might be looking"

"My body ain't that special" She laughed, then walked to the buffet stand. I didn't know why she had poor opinion of herself; Em was the sexiest creature on this planet

"You ARE special" The serious tone of my voice made Em halt and gaze at me with her big warm eyes, it's wonderful how the simplest exclamation would make her glow like that. "You're always good to me" She said, then leaned in and whispered, "So relax yeah, I'm yours. Think of the fun we'll have tonight, considering how wet I am already", she smirked, then grabbed a seared tuna canapé and popped it in her mouth. Fuck! Did she have to make those noises? Was the canapé that good for her to… moan in such seductive way? _'She's wet, there's no panties, if I lower my hand'_ Urghhh… '_Control yourself Campbell!_' "Is this part of your plan to make me ravish you in public?" I asked, "Because it's working"

"It's called foreplay" She grinned, "Effy has some useful tips, and she likes to share"

"What else have you learned?"

She whispered in my ears again, "Enough to fuck your brain out this evening"

That little…. My stomach did a flip when she said those words. Jesus, even my pussy is getting wet; it was half nice, half frustrated sort of sensation. "Don't want to wait until evening"

"Nao!" She pretended to scold, "You paid for the food, we shall make the best of it" She sipped her drink, "Have to take my hat off to the French, such great wine. Want some?"

"Actually, at first they planned to remove the bubble from Champagne, it was the British who convinced them to retain the process and not destroy the tingling burst of flavour"

"Really?" Em frowned, "Why the hell did they want to remove the bubble?"

"Before, glass-manufacturing was not as good as now, the carbonation from the Champagne made the bottles that contained them explode", I look at her, feeling very much like a compressed wine bottle that was about to break. "Anyway, the French invented something else that I love" I grabbed a fistful of red hair and crashed our lips together, my tongue probing, invading. Emily's moan and whimper urged me to press for more contact, but the need for air broke us apart. We caused quite a scene; although everyone here was too polite to gawk, my sixth sense knew we gathered immediate attention.

"Do you have to do that?" Em blushed in her adorable way

"Said someone who has no underwear on. You inspire me" I grinned, "And the people here could use some entertainment" We turned around, and sure enough we spotted a handful of curious and amused looks. Well, at least no one grimaced like a big homophobe. I didn't know why, but our sudden boldness caught us off guard, and we broke down in fits of giggles. "You're a bad influence" I accused, then whispered in her ears "After putting on such a show, tonight better be good"

"Don't fuss, I'll make it so good that the whole town will hear you scream" She stated confidently, then walked towards the end of the buffet table to refill her glass, swaying her hips in the process to aroused my libido

If patient were a virtue, then I'd rather be a whore

Shame, I would have enjoyed the scenery if Em had not been so distracting with her prurient sexiness. The saloon was vast, almost ninety-eight feet long and thirty feet wide, chandeliers and lustrous Christmas deco lit up the area, while rolls of columns that supported the ceiling were arranged along the walls. Eight Arabesque pilasters of oriental plants and birds heighten the aesthetic effect. Em was having a good time, she jumped everywhere, looked at everything, even paused to admire the craftsmanship of the archway doors. I just lagged behind to admire her ass. She loved the food too; I had to warn her that although canapés seemed small, they would fill her up, especially if she kept eating the ones made of cheese. "Come on" She pouted in protest, "Mum's cooking is full of bollocky wank shite, and that's the least horrible comment James's given her"

Well, I tried to keep my knicker on while she had fun not wearing any. After an infinite amount of canapés and champagnes, thanked fuck it was finally time to have our meal, I checked the table which had our names on then urged her to sit down. Em snatched the menu for a read "What's Pike mousse?" she asked, "It said 'Pan fried scallop and Pike mousse', ain't mousse a dessert thing?"

"It's also a process of preparing meat or fish" I shrugged, "Pike's a fish. Should work". All I knew was that our chef always yelled when Grandma wanted chicken mousse on the menu, he said it was the most physically tortuous thing to cook. "Taste good though", I assured her

"Hmmmm" She appeared unconvinced. We did not have much of a choice, in term of food; although there was vegetarian option, most of the people here would have the same dish because the head chef planned the menu for us. It was actually more expensive to dine this way.

When they brought the starter out, I watched Emily stared at her plate, "Which one's the mousse?" she poked her cutlery at those white, round little block, all curious

"You'll see", I laughed, then began to eat, encouraged her to do the same

"Oh, this is scallop" She said after swallowing the first item, then stabbed the next one with her fork. I watched as she popped it in her mouth, and after a second of chewing, her eyes went huge. "Fucking hell, it's yummy" she exclaimed, which made me feel elated. '_Such a good idea, bringing her to SS'_

Em tackled her cuisine with enthusiasm afterwards, she moaned and groaned as the fluffy texture of the mousse hit her palate, sometimes her eyelashes fluttered and joy danced on her face. My heart jolted when she licked her lips with her wet, pink tongue. _'Or may be it's a bad idea'_ I forced myself to look at my food, but not for long; the petite red head was so hypnotising, I couldn't stop but stare and be spellbound. '_Screw table manner'_ I thought as Em moaned erotic little noises all the way to the main course. Was she even aware of how much she turned me on? I shakily stabbed the poor venison steak, feeling restless as my body's temperature went up by each passing minute. "The sauce's so good" Em helped herself with some wine, "What did they put in there you reckon?"

"Dunno" I mumbled

"Hmmmm" She threw her head back, a bit lost in dream state, "Wonder what's for dessert" she hummed again, those pleasurable hums

_Ok, that's enough_

I gulped a good amount of alcohol, gathered my courage, then stood up and grabbed her arm. "You. Bedroom. Now" I dragged her through the dinning hall to the upper deck where our accommodation was, despite the protest. "You mental?", "What… now?", "We haven't finished eating". '_You can eat me instead_'. I unlocked the door and slammed her against it on the other side as soon as we came in. My lips sought hers immediately, my tongue invading, tasting. I could feel the sharpness of really expensive wine lingered on her mouth. It made me drunk. She made me drunk

"I want you Emily" I broke the kiss, my eyes stared straight at her, _'I can't help myself, I can't stand it, not any longer'_

"Fuck me" She said, deadpan

It was all that I needed to hear, we kissed again while slowly made our way towards the bed. My lips and tongue trailed down to her neck as I laid on top of her. This was not enough, this was never enough. She's mine, I wanted to make her mine, completely, as much as possible. My hand sneaked beneath her gown and touched her cunt. "You're dripping" I groaned, spreading the wetness with my fingertips, enthralled by the way Emily jerked in sync with my movement. She began to grind harder, begging me, pleading me to fuck her. She was the death and the birth of me, I felt lost in her, but at the same time, I felt so alive, so new. In one swift move, our clothes was peeled off and tossed on the ground. I grabbed her wrists and pin them above her head

"Please" Em moaned when I refused to make further movement. I watched as her back surged up and her hips thrust forwards, begging for more

"Please what?"

"Take me, mark me" Her eyes was so open, so honest "Make me yours, I don't want to belong to somebody else". Mark her? I looked at Emily's gorgeous tits and wet, beautiful cunt. How could I mark something so perfect? I dipped down to suck on her earlobe "Where?"

Em gently pushed me down to her left breast, just above her heart, which was the most radiant thing in the world. I placed dozen of kisses on top, then slightly bruised the flesh with my teeth. She thrashed about and groaned, but held my head in place with her hand. I licked the wound and wrapped her tit in the warmth of my tongue, hearing her take a sharp breath. "I love you Emily", My mouth moved towards the other nipple and teased the harden nub with slow, sensual flicks. She ground her hot cunt against my thigh, making my stomach clench at the feel of her juices. "I want you inside me, I need you inside me", she purred. I trailed my hand down to caress her belly, then lazily stroked her clit and teased her open. Each moan, each loving look added to the red flame that consumed me whole. Our eyes locked as two fingers were gently pushed deep in her hot sex. I felt her cunt contracted and pulled me. She was so warm, so delicate, she was heaven made flesh. My hand started to move, and I savoured the way she thrust her hips to match my rhythm, the way my digits were coated with her juice, the way she moaned and gazed at me with so much love

I picked up the pace when her limbs twitched and her breathing became more ardent. I leaned my forehead on hers and let our entwined bodies touched and caressed themselves as if they were two clashes of waves. "Come for me", I spoke softly, and after several hard thrusts I felt her walls gripped and spasmed around my fingers, her orgasmic cry was swallowed by a passionate, loving kiss. My thumb slowly teased her bundle of nerves to prolong her pleasure. _'How am I going to function without Em?'_ The thought was depressing, to pack my bag and move to a place where some asshole murdered my dog.

She opened her warm brown eyes and immediately sensed the bad mood. "Hey, it's ok, I've got you" She whispered. Pathetic! It should have been me who said that, should have been me who told the girl I'd just driven over the edge that she was safe when we made love. Em wrapped her arms around my back and held me tight. We remained in silent for a few minutes, my fingers touched the bruise I made on her breast, the image of that purple spot on her pale skin stirred up all kind of weird feelings. "What if you meet someone else while I'm away?" I knew the question was silly and just showed how weak I was, but I couldn't help myself

"What if you meet some handsome, posh chap when you go back there?" She mused, "Naomi, I'm yours. I've loved you ever since you were a grumpy little kid. You can change your last name, change your hair colour, even have plastic surgery, but as long as what's inside you doesn't change, my love for you will never change" Em confirmed, "There's only one of you in the world, I don't think there's a second copy to meet"

"And there's only one of you in the world, you know that?"

"What about Katie?" My Fitch smirked

"If God existed, then he kept the mould to make Katie because you're so beautiful, and he wished to have two. But he did not give you guys the same spirit or the same heart. You're special Em, way too special"

She rolled me over and kissed me with such sheer force that almost vacuumed all the air from my lungs. Her naked body rubbed and stretched on top, her juices dripping from her pussy onto my lap. "You are so. Fucking. Beautiful. And. Eloquent" She breathed out, her tongue swiped the side of my neck and into the cleavage.

"Jesus Em, Oh god!" Everything was blurred when she reached up and teased my nipples with her fingers. I gasped and squirmed, brain in a vague, hazy state where all I saw was red. Her hands trailed lower, went pass my belly, then stopped. The sudden halt made my eyes flick open, just in time to catch her burning look. She plunged two fingers deep inside me, then pulled out before I could enjoy the sharp comfort of being filled. Before I could ask what the fuck she was doing, Em showed me her hand, and I could see my wetness glistening on those digits.

I swore everything faded away when my angel sneaked her tongue out and licked the juice. "Hmmmmm" Her eyes screwed shut as she groaned sexy noises, as if she was tasting a delicious nectar. '_Oh God'_ Em continued sucking her fingers and the mere sight of that almost made come right there. My stomach clenched as electricity ran berserk through my vein. I grabbed her head and kissed her hard, tasting my own juice when our tongues danced together.

She broke the kiss and started nibbling my neck, her hands caressed me with feather light touch. Slowly, she went down and left little trails of saliva along the way with her kisses. I groaned out loud when Em grabbed my ass and pulled my pussy towards her, my whole frame convulsed when she plunged her hot, wet tongue inside. I seized a fistful of red hair and started grinding, but her hand held me down; she pushed and teased at her own pace. I hadn't gone through such sweet torture, and could literately feel myself opened to Emily like a rose to the sun. It was the most miraculous feeling, the scariest feeling. She took command of my flesh and I didn't have the strength to fight back. When she sucked my clit and pushed her fingers to fill me, I saw stars appearing little by little. I kept chanting her name because it was the one word my consciousness was sure of. Had no clue whereas she picked up the pace or fucked me harder, all I could feel was the fierce heat spreading across my abdomen, and soon enough pleasure burst through, melting me into liquid

Everything turned black

I was dead for a good second

Just for a second

Because I crashed down on earth soon after, feeling as alive as a newborn.

"I love you" Emily exclaimed, this girl was indeed the death and the birth of me.

We cuddled for-God knew how many hours- Em's favourite pillow was me, she could just relax and listen to my heartbeats until her neck started to ache. "You think they keep our dessert?" She questioned after a while, "I really want to taste that hazelnut crème brulee". The buzz of the party from upstairs had been travelling down to here, and I felt a bit bad for cooping her up in a room while fun was all around, though I knew we did not regret a single minute of making love to each other. "You want to go up and dance? Have more wine?" I said, "With your underwear on though"

"Sure" She giggled.

_May be it's time_. I thought, and slipped out from the bed to open my suitcase, then came back with her present in hand "Merry Christmas Emily"

"Huh?" My girl frowned, "What's that"

"Your present silly", I gave an epic eye roll

"The ship IS my present", She started to fret "Oh god! Don't tell me that you threw away another large sum for my sake?"

"No, she's a heirloom from my grandmother's side"

"She?"

"Just open the damn thing would you?" I gave her the box. Em hesitated at first, then shrugged and unwrapped the parcel. My lips curled into a smile once she removed the lid and gasped at the content. "That necklace has been passed to the youngest daughter from my nan's household for… dunno, properly hundreds of years". The silver chain was nothing impressive; it was the pendant that stood out. It had the shape of a white sparrow hawk, which was a 'she' and also had a name that I couldn't recall for the love of Jesus. Her wings were folded in front of her chest; took a peek through her feathers and anyone could spot that the bird held an exquisite tear-drop jewel in her embrace. Half of the jewel was blue sapphire, and the other half was red ruby. "Grandma said the bird would protect the least fortunate, since youngest daughter does not get much out of her family's inheritance, she will have the bird as blessing"

"Oh babe, I can't"

"Well, according to the law I'm only allowed pass her to my youngest daughter. Our youngest daughter. But if you keep the bird, I'll have to come back to claim her won't I?"

"Oh" She understood. Whatever happened to me from now on, I would stay alive for us to meet again, I would come back to the beautiful woman who had my heart and soul. "We'll be together" I said, "I'll come back, and it's my promise. When I do, return the bird to me if you want"

Em smiled, but her expression was-somehow-difficult to decode "There's present for you too"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, but you'll have yours on the day you leave"

Of course, I had no clue what that was. When we walked to the ballroom and danced our silly dance, or when we climbed up to the top deck, watching those bright stars and marvelling at the way our dear city reflected on the harbour's water; I thought it would be our last night. I recalled how sad I felt after everyone was gone and the first class passengers went to their respective compartments. We stood alone on the deck, there was no music, yet we danced anyway, despite the cold. Later on, we both chased each other like two silly kids, pretended that we were sailing towards a new, uninhabited world. So imagined my surprise when someone knocked on my door on the Twenty sixth of December, I had thought it was Emily, came to bid farewell. But as I swung the gate opened, Cook, Eff, Panda, and Katie were those that came to say goodbye. My girl, on the other hand, was struggling with an enormous suitcase

"Bitch" Katie spoke, "I demand half of your trust fund yeah? Since I'm the one who have to clean up the mess and deal with the parental unit once they find out she has run off with you"

"What?" I stared at her

"And you make sure she'll come home in one piece, or else I'll join that murderer and get rid of you for revenge, understood?

"Merry Christmas Naomi" Em beamed out a smile

…

…

…

* * *

**Alright folks, if I stop here, it's not that bad of an ending. If I continue, well, I dunno how long it would take, so it's safe to say that this story will go on hiatus for a while. Many thanks to who cheered me up when the hate mails were piling. Seriously people, I don't condone imperialism and colony exploitation (WTF?), and just because I write about the subject doesn't mean I hold any sort of title or own a palace (funny, considered how my parents starved during the war)**

**So on that note, just to clear a few things. Brunel's SS Great Britain is in Bristol, she used to ship people to Australia during the Victorian period and no doubt played a part in colonising the country, but again, I DON'T SUPPORT THAT TYPE OF INVASION. Please don't hate me, it's just facts. SS was a beautiful ship, they organised some posh dinner and ballroom dancing during Christmas a few years back, and this year it's Dicken's Christmas carol or something like that. However, YOU CAN'T SLEEP THERE. I made that up, the vessel is too old and precious, no one would even let you come inside the first class quarter, just look and observe is what you get. **

**Britain was the empire during that period and did exploit many countries, those stuff which belong to the Queen also come from that exploitation, I'm aware. But history is history. I don't want any nasty accusation during this season guys, and I'm stuck in the country where they don't celebrate Christmas, it's sad enough**


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